Kid misses old house terribly, what can I do?

[Anonymous]

Change is hard. It is something that we learn as we grow up. Nothing remains the same.

Let her grieve. I would just sit with her with some munchies and hot chocolate and snuggle with her.

To love her new house - buy her something cute for her new bedroom and take pictures with her in her new beautiful space. In a month, she will be fine.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Thank you all for compassionate and helpful response. We are trying our best to upack and make the new house home as soon as possible... I believe time will heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thank you all for compassionate and helpful response. We are trying our best to upack and make the new house home as soon as possible... I believe time will heal.

I feel the same as your 8yo and I'm 44!! I sold my first home about 6 weeks ago and resisted moving for YEARS because of my emotional attachment to the house. My late father did all of the work on it and I had some really precious, final memories there with him. Other major milestones in my life in that house too. And I redecorated/renovated the whole thing as a labor of love. It took me being really excited about something else, my upcoming new construction, for me to focus on not being sad. I needed a new focus. So, as others suggested, get your daughter heavily involved in unpacking, decorating, choosing things not only for her room but other places in the house. Maybe plant a garden when the weather gets better (do research now while it's cold) and other activities to focus on the gain of a new place, not loss of an old one.

And, funny enough, my kids have ZERO emotional attachment to our old house. I ask them if they miss the house. Nope - they are looking forward to the new one.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My kid missed my Honda when I bought a minivan. It’s not anxiety, depression or Covid. Just commiserate with her. And start decorating!

[Anonymous]

Probably a bit late in the game for some of these suggestions, but...

Helpful to give them agency over the new house. That starts with them touring and thinking about the house before you move in. Letting them help decide where furniture will be placed, maybe a new bed of a cool shape or type (bunk bed), letting them pick a new paint color for their room and help paint it.

In the end they will get over it and not even remember being sad. If you react defensively or apologize for the move or give them too much attention when they complain then you will feed into and encourage the complaining. It is a balancing act.

[Anonymous]

We moved and I let me kids pick out their room colors. My 7 year old son went super dark blue which I didn’t like but he was right and it looks great. My 5 year old daughter wanted a princess room and that’s what she has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell the kid to grow up and cope.

I once complained about having to move and my mother said I'd have to cope and that was it. Matter settled. And I did cope.

Moving from a big to smaller house due to financial needs or a divorce is a special set of emotions that is somewhat understandable, but moving up the ladder is a luxury and whining about it is just enabling a spoiled child. And your kid will get over it soon enough if you leave it alone and don't make a big deal about being worried about him or her.

Jesus, did the buyer of your childhood home make you sit there and watch while it was torn down or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long has it been?

Why can't you just let her be sad and share in the loss with her?

This. Be sad with her, heck, maybe even have her list for you what are the most things she misses. That can be therapeutic for her.

Maybe you'll get ideas as to making her new room special in its own way (not a replica of the old) and talk about growing up and sometimes we outgrow things (clothes, houses, etc.).

[Anonymous]

We moved from a th to a sfh about 3 miles away when my kid was 8. She went to the same school and maintained the same friendships she just missed our old house. It was all she knew. I brought her home to that house. Here it is 2 years later and she doesn't miss the old house at all. Kids are resilient.

[Anonymous]

When you just let so body be sad then she could feel like you don’t love her or you don’t want to help her get out of her misery.


My parent always gives me a little treat to help me feel better

[Anonymous]

Let her be sad. And also, take her to Target or whatever and let her pick out a new quilt and pillows for the bed. Maybe throw in a Squishmallow just for fun. Give her time, she'll come around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the kid to grow up and cope.

I once complained about having to move and my mother said I'd have to cope and that was it. Matter settled. And I did cope.

Moving from a big to smaller house due to financial needs or a divorce is a special set of emotions that is somewhat understandable, but moving up the ladder is a luxury and whining about it is just enabling a spoiled child. And your kid will get over it soon enough if you leave it alone and don't make a big deal about being worried about him or her.

JFC some people are shit.

I agree with that poster. But that’s because when I was younger I had to leave my home country due to a revolution!!

[Anonymous]

Y'all are worrying about a kid 2 years removed from the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long has it been?

Why can't you just let her be sad and share in the loss with her?

This is OP. I agree. I should just give it time. Seeing her sad breaks my heart because we worked so hard to get this house and we want to make her happy...

I agree with pp. Change is hard. You should tell her you miss it too, and if you had her there can say that it always be special to you for that reason.

You can't change a circumstance to change someone's emotions - you can't make her happy. Unfortunately. I wish we could do whatever it takes to make our kids happy. But we have no control over their thoughts and emotions. She has a full range of emotions, which makes her perfectly human.

[Anonymous]

This post is from 2020. The child has most likely adjusted…