Nanny Didn't Tell Us Her Child Was Sick

[Anonymous]

Our family has been quarantining heavily (including having all groceries delivered due to my husband's illnesses). We very reluctantly hired a nanny so that we could get help managing distance learning and working from home. A few days ago, our kids started getting sick with sore throats, runny noses, and one child threw up. I notified our nanny via text that our kids were sick and she mentioned in her reply that her daughter had the same bug a few days before. I was beyond angry that she would come to our home and get the entire family sick (its now making its way to my husband and I) and never say a word about her child being ill. This is more than likely just a cold, but I now don't trust her to mention any potential COVID exposure or symptoms. When we hired her, she agreed to limit her interactions to our family. Am I overreacting in reconsidering having a nanny? The stress of having to worry about someone else's honesty and level of care is becoming difficult.

[Anonymous]

Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

That's actually irrelevant in an employee-employer relationship, especially during a time of crisis. She's not being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

That's actually irrelevant in an employee-employer relationship, especially during a time of crisis. She's not being honest.

Wait what?

My medium size company has been bending over backwards to support all staff who are suddenly stuck at home full time with kids who have all kinds of extra needs right now.

You are saying someone with a nanny, which is a pretty intimate employment situation, shouldn't bother to know what arrangements that person has to take care of their own children? Especially in a time of covid? I find that sort of unfathomable but then I've never understand hiring someone else to sub in for me as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

That's actually irrelevant in an employee-employer relationship, especially during a time of crisis. She's not being honest.

It is relevant. Nanny agreed to limit interactions to just their family. That means her child should be cared for by a member of her family, or she should have disclosed the care exposure at hire.

[Anonymous]

Wait, did she’s not tell you she had a child? Or did she agree to not interact with her own child?

This makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

OP here - no "entitlement or privilege" because we do pay her when she's not here and did build in sick time and holidays. Additionally, I actually did ask who was taking care of her child and she said that her mother who she was quarantining with was taking care of the child. The arrangement was that she is going only between our household and hers with just her mother and her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no "entitlement or privilege" because we do pay her when she's not here and did build in sick time and holidays. Additionally, I actually did ask who was taking care of her child and she said that her mother who she was quarantining with was taking care of the child. The arrangement was that she is going only between our household and hers with just her mother and her child.

Even if her mother is being careful the child could have picked up a virus somewhere. Children are Petri dishes. This is life. I find it interesting she didn’t feel comfortable telling you that her child was sick and she needed to stay home. I get your frustration but you don’t exactly come off as pleasant or empathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no "entitlement or privilege" because we do pay her when she's not here and did build in sick time and holidays. Additionally, I actually did ask who was taking care of her child and she said that her mother who she was quarantining with was taking care of the child. The arrangement was that she is going only between our household and hers with just her mother and her child.

She didn’t violate this agreement. She failed to tell you her child had a cold. Did you ASK her to tell you when a member of her household had a cold? If so, then this is a problem. If you assumed she would know that, then this a learning experience for you both. You tell her, not angrily, that in the future you need to know if any member of her household is sick with ANYTHING so that you can decide together whether she should come to work. And that you will pay her if you decide she needs to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no "entitlement or privilege" because we do pay her when she's not here and did build in sick time and holidays. Additionally, I actually did ask who was taking care of her child and she said that her mother who she was quarantining with was taking care of the child. The arrangement was that she is going only between our household and hers with just her mother and her child.

In both this post and the OP you seem to be insinuating that your nanny was lying to you about exposure. I guess maybe you think her daughter couldn't have become sick unless the nanny is lying about going out?

So, I think you have two problems here:

1) If you want the nanny to tell you when her own child has a cold, you need to use your words. She probably figured that since it was just a cold, and since she had childcare for the sick kid covered, that you would prefer having childcare over not having childcare. She didn't do anything wrong, but you need to make your expectations clear.

2) If you've had a nanny before, you know that when you hire a working class individual to become part of your household, the challenges of working class Americans become your challenges. In this case, the challenge is that it is likely impossible for your nanny to quarantine as tightly as you are doing. Multi-family dwellings, shared laundry spaces, the impossible economics of ordering grocery delivery. You have to understand that the convenience of having external help is going to be offset by having someone in your home who literally cannot control their exposure as easily as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

That's actually irrelevant in an employee-employer relationship, especially during a time of crisis. She's not being honest.

Give me a break. Op were you clear that she had unlimited paid sick leave should her child get sick?

It is relevant. Nanny agreed to limit interactions to just their family. That means her child should be cared for by a member of her family, or she should have disclosed the care exposure at hire.

[Anonymous]

Op I agree with you. I am a former Nanny and now a parent. Given that a cold could be Covid as far as similar symptoms sometimes, she should have told you. I don't think I would fire here though. Just make your expectations very clear from now on going forward.

[Anonymous]

How did the nanny give your children colds/stomach bug if she didn’t have one?

Yes, she should disclose if anyone in her bubble is ill because she may be asymptomatic but your nanny didn’t give your children their current illnesses.

[Anonymous]

How come nanny didn't get sick and you grown-ups are? If my kids vomits and gets a little fever, I don't get it, nor DH.