Nanny Didn't Tell Us Her Child Was Sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our family has been quarantining heavily (including having all groceries delivered due to my husband's illnesses). We very reluctantly hired a nanny so that we could get help managing distance learning and working from home. A few days ago, our kids started getting sick with sore throats, runny noses, and one child threw up. I notified our nanny via text that our kids were sick and she mentioned in her reply that her daughter had the same bug a few days before. I was beyond angry that she would come to our home and get the entire family sick (its now making its way to my husband and I) and never say a word about her child being ill. This is more than likely just a cold, but I now don't trust her to mention any potential COVID exposure or symptoms. When we hired her, she agreed to limit her interactions to our family. Am I overreacting in reconsidering having a nanny? The stress of having to worry about someone else's honesty and level of care is becoming difficult.

We’re you texting the nanny telling her to stay home because your kids were sick?

[Anonymous]

You should have hired a single nanny who lives alone. Hiring a nanny with a family, all working or going to school out of the house, was your first mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

That's actually irrelevant in an employee-employer relationship, especially during a time of crisis. She's not being honest.

This very relevant when op writes: “ When we hired her, she agreed to limit her interactions to our family.”. Did op expect the nanny not to interact with her own child or thought the nanny is in a bubble from her own family?

[Anonymous]

What makes you think your family got it from the nanny’s kid? My kids are in elementary school and often times colds and stomach bugs go around totally separate groups of kids at the same time. I have often mentioned that my kid threw up and a friend with kids in a separate school will say her kid had the same bug, it lasted a week/2 days etc. Obviously my friends kids didn’t give it to mine. I would have read your nanny’s comment in the same way - along the lines oh ‘oh yeah, that bug is going around!’ If the nanny didn’t get sick, I would assume it’s just a coincidence.

And if you intend for your nanny to stay home any time her kid is sick, you need to tell her that and then pay her for her time.

[Anonymous]

Do you do a daily screening prior to her arrival to work?


Is one of your questions if she has been in close contact with someone symptomatic with covid type symptoms?

[Anonymous]

OP, if you expect the nanny you hire to limit her interactions to just your family, you need to hire a live in nanny and pay her hourly rate requirement around the clock. That is the only way you can have complete control over what she does, where she goes, and who she sees.

So let’s say there is a nanny out there willing to surrender control of her own life to you. To do that, she wants $30 per hour. Her weekly gross pay would be $5240. She Will also need her own bedroom and bathroom at a bare minimum, although a private suite would be best. You’ll need to pay for her food, since you will want to control where the groceries come from.

You’d also need to guarantee her weekly pay, and would need to compensate her for emotional distress if anyone close to her dies and she can’t attend the funeral.

So about $500,000 a year to have a nanny you can completely control!

If that’s not fiscally possible, you will have to deal with having a nanny who is human and might have a sick child or even get sick herself. If you can’t cope with that, you or your DH needs to quit working and be the nanny yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, did you build in a 2 week paid time off period during the year? Or more?

If so, please fire the dishonest nanny. You should have no trouble finding another one

if you did not, then please check your entitlement and privilege.

Yup - no doubt you would have been on here bitching about how inconvenient it was that your recently hired nanny was staying home to take care of a sick child so soon after starting.

Who is taking care of her child BTW - did you even bother to ask?

Never in all my years of working was I ever asked by an employer who was taking care of my child - nor would I expect them too.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I don't know why people are criticizing you. I would be livid. This is a huge breach of trust.

You all need to get tested for Covid ASAP and while you're waiting for results, please isolate.

I would let your nanny go, both because you can't trust her and because viral spread is getting worse, and figure out your little family by yourself. You can do it!

[Anonymous]

Your baby was dishonest, OP. I would fire her and find another alternative.

[Anonymous]

Oops

Nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our family has been quarantining heavily (including having all groceries delivered due to my husband's illnesses). We very reluctantly hired a nanny so that we could get help managing distance learning and working from home. A few days ago, our kids started getting sick with sore throats, runny noses, and one child threw up. I notified our nanny via text that our kids were sick and she mentioned in her reply that her daughter had the same bug a few days before. I was beyond angry that she would come to our home and get the entire family sick (its now making its way to my husband and I) and never say a word about her child being ill. This is more than likely just a cold, but I now don't trust her to mention any potential COVID exposure or symptoms. When we hired her, she agreed to limit her interactions to our family. Am I overreacting in reconsidering having a nanny? The stress of having to worry about someone else's honesty and level of care is becoming difficult.

We’re you texting the nanny telling her to stay home because your kids were sick?

OP here - yes, I was texting her to let her know that my kids were sick and that I didn't want her to potentially pick up what my children had and bring it back to her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think your family got it from the nanny’s kid? My kids are in elementary school and often times colds and stomach bugs go around totally separate groups of kids at the same time. I have often mentioned that my kid threw up and a friend with kids in a separate school will say her kid had the same bug, it lasted a week/2 days etc. Obviously my friends kids didn’t give it to mine. I would have read your nanny’s comment in the same way - along the lines oh ‘oh yeah, that bug is going around!’ If the nanny didn’t get sick, I would assume it’s just a coincidence.

And if you intend for your nanny to stay home any time her kid is sick, you need to tell her that and then pay her for her time.

OP here - my kids are in distance learning and are not around other children to pick up bugs.

[Anonymous]

It’s very common sense these days to let people who you may have been in close contact with know if a member of your family gets sick. It’s just common courtesy. My son got a bad cold and I immediately told everyone he had interacted with closely the day or two before (a friend who he had played with outside for several hours) and kept them updated on his testing status. I can’t imagine your nanny didn’t know you are very concerned about Covid.

People on this board like to come up with a million reasons why the OP might be at fault, when actually the answer is a simple one. Yes, of course your nanny should have told you. Then the two of you could have had a conversation about what to do, consistent with the contract and basic human decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

I don't know why people are criticizing you. I would be livid. This is a huge breach of trust.

You all need to get tested for Covid ASAP and while you're waiting for results, please isolate.

I would let your nanny go, both because you can't trust her and because viral spread is getting worse, and figure out your little family by yourself. You can do it!

I agree with this advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think your family got it from the nanny’s kid? My kids are in elementary school and often times colds and stomach bugs go around totally separate groups of kids at the same time. I have often mentioned that my kid threw up and a friend with kids in a separate school will say her kid had the same bug, it lasted a week/2 days etc. Obviously my friends kids didn’t give it to mine. I would have read your nanny’s comment in the same way - along the lines oh ‘oh yeah, that bug is going around!’ If the nanny didn’t get sick, I would assume it’s just a coincidence.

And if you intend for your nanny to stay home any time her kid is sick, you need to tell her that and then pay her for her time.

OP here - my kids are in distance learning and are not around other children to pick up bugs.

You and your husband never leave your house?? OP is just one of many posters on DCUM that justify their own activities “safer” than others. I only do this, I only do that. Anyone else with a random virus is irresponsible, not socially distancing, dirty and so on. Your kids could have gotten this bug anywhere, especially you.