For those of us who wish they weighed the same amount they did in their 20s/30s

[Anonymous]

How do you break the cycle? I just tried in clothes from my wedding time snd got so sad. I’m
In shape- 5-6, 135 pounds excersise daiky. But I used to be 125 pounds. I know it’s so unhealthy. I e had 2 kids etc etc. how did I become like this?

[Anonymous]

And by this I mean not understand that my body has changed etc.

[Anonymous]

We’re bored and frustrated. Focus on your kids and family and health, not vanity. Going through the death of a parent from stomach cancer makes me never wish to be 10 pounds thinner. Seems like an extreme way to look at it, but really it shifted my perspective. Healthy, balanced, happy is my goal.

[Anonymous]

It's ok to be a healthy, normal, not-quite-as-thin size. It's ok to decide this is actually important to you and count calories and lose the weight, even if it is a little vain. You're allowed to be a little vain. I think just cut yourself some slack either way and recognize that this is actually a pretty neutral personal choice, and other people are going to think you look great and normal either way, so it's just about what works for you.

[Anonymous]

I was 97 lbs when I married (5'2") in my 20s

I am 128 now in my mid-50s. If I can lose another 5 lbs, I will be very happy and healthy. Any more and I will look sick and my face will look bad. I am looking pretty good right now, but I have a belly. Maybe I should just get it removed surgically.

[Anonymous]

Something I find helpful is looking at photos of beautiful and stylish older women. I think sometimes we confuse mourning our youth with missing our younger, pre-kid bodies. Are you sure you are sad that you can't fit into the clothes from your wedding? Or are you just sad that you are in another stage of life?

Also, I think there's a lot of very dull group think around how "moms" in their late 30s/40s are supposed to dress. I'm sick of it. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not me and I'm bored.

I've been buying vintage clothes and offbeat things online during the pandemic, and refreshing my style. Experimenting with hair and jewelry. I want to embrace this era of my life and feel great about the woman I am now, not just descend into a pile of joggers and cardigans and sit around missing the cocktail dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner. I think I look BETTER now, 10 pounds heavier and 10 years later.

[Anonymous]

I am the same weight as 20 year ago, but the shape changed after 2 kids, I have a small muffin top (or extra loose skin there) and can’t find in the same clothes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the same weight as 20 year ago, but the shape changed after 2 kids, I have a small muffin top (or extra loose skin there) and can’t find in the same clothes

Me too but no kids=no muffin top.

[Anonymous]

Part of the reason is we aren’t exposed to what bodies actually look like. The only time we really ever see another female body is when it’s used fir advertising, and it’s almost always a size 2, 19 year old, and photoshopped.

Studies have shown that were attracted to what we are exposed to...if you only ever see fit 20-somethings, that’s what you’ll want to look like.

I started intentionally looking up women who look the way more women look. So my IG feed is mostly heavier women, with stretch marks and everything, in sports bras and shorts. I don’t follow anyone who makes me feel bad about myself. There’s nothing wrong with them, it’s just not something I want to expose myself to for my own well-being.

[Anonymous]

I weighed 95 at marriage and 110 after losing the weight from my 3rd kid.

No muffin stomach. I don't exercise or stress about it and eat lots of candy. I drink chocolate milk every day red milk.

I am 5 4.

It's just genes. My mom is obese, but I got the genes from my aunts

[Anonymous]

You wouldn't exchange your two kids for your wedding body so you can think that was a really small price to pay for being a mom!

[Anonymous]

Donate those clothes and stop trying on stuff you know won't fit. Only keep the clothes you wear and that fit

[Anonymous]

I am within 5 lbs of my weight at marriage (20 yrs ago and prior to three full term pregnancies)....and still, I cannot wear things I wore 5 yrs ago!

The weight is essentially the same, but the distribution has changed! So even if you were the same weight as you used to be, you wouldn't necessarily fit into your old jeans or swimsuit. Time changes things. Just have to do the best you can and accept what nature gives you. I'm 51. I'm happy if people think I'm in my 40s. I'm not trying to look like someone in her 40s or 30s. Set goals, but be realistic.

[Anonymous]

Typo...I'm not trying to look like someone in her 30s or 20s!

[Anonymous]

Gaining weight as you get older is not inevitable. I'm not saying it doesn't become harder but you have to make choices based upon what is important to you. If you decide you want to be fit and thin and want to spend the time and effort to keep that body type, don't let anyone make you feel bad for that choice. The alternative is not a bad choice either. You have to decide how you want to spend your time and energy. What are the trade off for that extra 5-10 pounds and how it makes you feel? Does it give you more time for work and kids and family? You have to weigh the pros and cons of what is involved in losing and maintaining weight vs. being 10 pounds heavier. There is no right answer. It is an individual choice. If you are feeling bad about your weight but don't really want to change it, then focus on the positives in your life from that choice. You have to decide what is important in your life and prioritize accordingly.

But also realize there is a difference between weight and aging. You can change your weight but you can only slow down aging (not stop it).