Husband steals everything I do with kid

[Anonymous]

My husband drives me crazy. Anything - anything- I do with my kid he watches and then rushes to do it with DC before me the next time. From books to meals to games to ideas. He does it and does it frequently with the kid to where the kid thinks it’s “their thing”. I’m not even sure I can explain it right but it is crazy. I feel like he has no imagination and just takes over every idea I have. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Anonymous]

DH did this too. Mine is on the spectrum, is yours? I think it does he really cares about DC and wants to try. It also shows good admiration for me as a parent and his appreciation that I find cool things to do with DC. Plus, that way I know he's being safe because the last time he came up with a way to play with her, they were out in the middle of the street, ugh!

[Anonymous]

Jeez, parenting isn’t a competition. You’re not in this for the yelp reviews. Why not use your fantastic ideas to think of things all three of you can do together?

Also, kids really don’t care which parent to takes them to the zoo or whatever. If you are afraid that I love you less because your husband is doing all the “best” activities, and you are really off-base.

Give us some examples of the kind of things are talking about, because it’s really hard to imagine how this is an issue.

[Anonymous]

Ha! I effing WISH! my husband would do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! I effing WISH! my husband would do this.

I know, right! Rushing to play games, read books and prepare meals with our child! The horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband drives me crazy. Anything - anything- I do with my kid he watches and then rushes to do it with DC before me the next time. From books to meals to games to ideas. He does it and does it frequently with the kid to where the kid thinks it’s “their thing”. I’m not even sure I can explain it right but it is crazy. I feel like he has no imagination and just takes over every idea I have. Has anyone else experienced this?

You mean "our" kid. You sound really petty.

[Anonymous]

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I’d say you should count yourself lucky that at least your DH wants to spend a lot of time with DC (many don’t) and since you’re more creative than him, keep coming up with enough ideas for the both of you.

[Anonymous]

I think people unnecessarily mean.

I’ve had this happen and it really sucks. Just as you start bonding over something with your kid, to have your husband come in and take it over feels very crappy. If it was a few times it would be easy to overlook but all the time? That’s tough.

I’m sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

The only solution to have another kid...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! I effing WISH! my husband would do this.

I know, right! Rushing to play games, read books and prepare meals with our child! The horror!

If my husband voluntarily played a game with our kid I would keep over from shock.

[Anonymous]

Did he breastfeed the kid too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people unnecessarily mean.

I’ve had this happen and it really sucks. Just as you start bonding over something with your kid, to have your husband come in and take it over feels very crappy. If it was a few times it would be easy to overlook but all the time? That’s tough.

I’m sorry OP.

OP here. This is exactly right. Everyone who thinks it is admiring or how great it is that husband wants to spend time with DC doesn’t get it. It’s almost like a power thing. My husband is very competitive and it’s like everything has to be “his”. And it’s not like my husband does it with DC and includes me. He takes it over and does it exclusively with DC.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you discussed it with your husband? Wanting to have a special bonding activity for each parent should be a goal for both of you. For my husband and our boys, it's haircuts, doughnuts, camping and football. For me it's gardening, baking, running and video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I’d say you should count yourself lucky that at least your DH wants to spend a lot of time with DC (many don’t) and since you’re more creative than him, keep coming up with enough ideas for the both of you.

+1. Parenting isn't a competition. I'm sure coming up with the bonding ideas with your child just doesn't come as naturally to him as they do to you. Come up with some new ideas together, or simply join in next time so the activity involves the three of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people unnecessarily mean.

I’ve had this happen and it really sucks. Just as you start bonding over something with your kid, to have your husband come in and take it over feels very crappy. If it was a few times it would be easy to overlook but all the time? That’s tough.

I’m sorry OP.

OP here. This is exactly right. Everyone who thinks it is admiring or how great it is that husband wants to spend time with DC doesn’t get it. It’s almost like a power thing. My husband is very competitive and it’s like everything has to be “his”. And it’s not like my husband does it with DC and includes me. He takes it over and does it exclusively with DC.

Amateur. Use this to your advantage. You are mommy, no one and nothing can ever replace you - even unoriginal Daddy. I promise. USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.