Husband steals everything I do with kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband drives me crazy. Anything - anything- I do with my kid he watches and then rushes to do it with DC before me the next time. From books to meals to games to ideas. He does it and does it frequently with the kid to where the kid thinks it’s “their thing”. I’m not even sure I can explain it right but it is crazy. I feel like he has no imagination and just takes over every idea I have. Has anyone else experienced this?

Sounds like he working hard to be a great dad and giving you a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH did this too. Mine is on the spectrum, is yours? I think it does he really cares about DC and wants to try. It also shows good admiration for me as a parent and his appreciation that I find cool things to do with DC. Plus, that way I know he's being safe because the last time he came up with a way to play with her, they were out in the middle of the street, ugh!

Why do people have to throw ASD at everything?

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. Give a specific example, OP.

[Anonymous]

Can you give some examples? I’m trying to understand. Is it like you teach him to play uno and then your DH plays with him all the time? Then you teach him checkers and DH starts playing that with him? What if you go back to playing uno? Or all play together? Or is it they make pancakes every Sunday when it used to be you?

Why don’t you talk to your husband and say you feel jealous of their pancake time and want to do make your own pizza night on fridays as a bonding activity? If your husband says no to that then you can go from there.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the poster who suggested therapy. YOu and your husband are going to drive your child crazy, and when your child is old enough won't want anything to do with either of you, that's an outcome neither of you want. Please consider therapy .

[Anonymous]

You are petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! I effing WISH! my husband would do this.

Exactly - It would have been better if my husband had done this. Instead he tried to "force" the kids to do what he wanted them to do, then got frustrated and angry when they didn't want to do that activity or didn't want to do it his way. If he had looked at what they enjoyed doing (with me or on their own) and "copied" it, we would have all been happier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you feeling left out? It kinda sounds like it. Join in, let go, and have fun. It can be hard if you're spirits and/or mood are low, but you'll feel better for it. Or - go for a walk or do something that is just_for_YOU. Any chance DH is trying to help you?

My DH and DS have things that are "their thing", for sure -- e.g., video games, running, etc. -- and are things that I don't enjoy. DS and I have things that are our thing -- e.g., cooking, playing tennis. And then there are things that are just things - nothing more. Either of us read, play board games, watch movies, whatever.

Yes but how about if DH started cooking with DS all the time. And if you said- what would you like for breakfast, he said - oh I made eggs. Or if you said want to play tennis, he said he had just taken him after their drive. And then cooking and tennis became their things? I don’t care that they have theirs and we have ours and all of us have some together. This is that he takes over my things and they become his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you give some examples? I’m trying to understand. Is it like you teach him to play uno and then your DH plays with him all the time? Then you teach him checkers and DH starts playing that with him? What if you go back to playing uno? Or all play together? Or is it they make pancakes every Sunday when it used to be you?

Why don’t you talk to your husband and say you feel jealous of their pancake time and want to do make your own pizza night on fridays as a bonding activity? If your husband says no to that then you can go from there.

This is basically it. And it is like this for EVERYTHING. And then DS only wants to play Uno or make pancakes with DH. And if I say let’s do pizza on Friday DS says no I want to make pancakes with daddy. DS is preschooler so he is just being young.

[Anonymous]

He sounds insecure. Is he in other ways, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you give some examples? I’m trying to understand. Is it like you teach him to play uno and then your DH plays with him all the time? Then you teach him checkers and DH starts playing that with him? What if you go back to playing uno? Or all play together? Or is it they make pancakes every Sunday when it used to be you?

Why don’t you talk to your husband and say you feel jealous of their pancake time and want to do make your own pizza night on fridays as a bonding activity? If your husband says no to that then you can go from there.

This is basically it. And it is like this for EVERYTHING. And then DS only wants to play Uno or make pancakes with DH. And if I say let’s do pizza on Friday DS says no I want to make pancakes with daddy. DS is preschooler so he is just being young.

You still sound petty. It's not a competition. My kids love doing fun stuff with their dad who is fun and easy going. I'm the disciplinarian and home schooler in the house. They love me just as much. We also do fun stuff occasionally and if my husband wants to do it instead I just take a break!!

There's so many opportunities to bond with your child! And kids need structure too. I do make a point to tell everyone in the family what a good mom I am and to do my own PR!!

[Anonymous]

Maybe DH lacks imagination or maybe he felt left out and is doing his best to join in. Or, maybe he's really a douche bag -- who knows?

What does he say when you talk to him about this stuff?

Also, how do you act when your kid says he wants DH instead of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you give some examples? I’m trying to understand. Is it like you teach him to play uno and then your DH plays with him all the time? Then you teach him checkers and DH starts playing that with him? What if you go back to playing uno? Or all play together? Or is it they make pancakes every Sunday when it used to be you?

Why don’t you talk to your husband and say you feel jealous of their pancake time and want to do make your own pizza night on fridays as a bonding activity? If your husband says no to that then you can go from there.

This is basically it. And it is like this for EVERYTHING. And then DS only wants to play Uno or make pancakes with DH. And if I say let’s do pizza on Friday DS says no I want to make pancakes with daddy. DS is preschooler so he is just being young.

Then just say great, let's all play cards together. Great! Breakfast for dinner sounds yummy. I'll fry up the bacon.

There's no reason for any of those activities to be exclusionary.