Debating 3rd kid

[Anonymous]

I currently have 2 kids, 6 and 3. They're close, and I'm wondering about a third.\

Pros:
I always have wanted a large family
My 6 year old DD wants another sister
We have the room and money for another

Cons:
I don't see any, which is why I'm asking for help

[Anonymous]

We have 3. I love love love having 3. They are now 8, 6 and 3. I don't regret the choice in the slightest. Things I knew before having 3 but didn't really understand until actually having 3: 3 is a LOT more work as they get older. You now have 3 opinions to handle, 3 differnet personalities, 3 differnet types of needs, and 3 people to pay for. It is tricky to juggle it all, and I know it will only become a lot harder as they age. I feel hard-pressed sometimes to treat everyone as an individual instead of a collective whole. I know I am only at the starting line for this and as they age, it will be much harder. Just think hard about creating another human versus just having another baby. There's a difference in those ideas, and I didn't really think about that difference or feel it, until the 3rd got here.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

The main cons are another pregnancy & its effect on your body, finances (!), being stretched thin/outnumbered (for activities, attention) and the fact that the world is more set up for a family of five (for example, dining/travel/taxis or other vehicles).

[Anonymous]

^ sorry meant more set up for a family of 4!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

The main cons are another pregnancy & its effect on your body, finances (!), being stretched thin/outnumbered (for activities, attention) and the fact that the world is more set up for a family of five (for example, dining/travel/taxis or other vehicles).

31.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 and really any car that can hold 2 can hold 3. We have a van anyway. Very happy he's extremely cute

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 and really any car that can hold 2 can hold 3. We have a van anyway. Very happy he's extremely cute

I have three too, but completely disagree with this. There are plenty of cars that just wouldn't work for us once the third came along. I also have a minivan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

The main cons are another pregnancy & its effect on your body, finances (!), being stretched thin/outnumbered (for activities, attention) and the fact that the world is more set up for a family of five (for example, dining/travel/taxis or other vehicles).

31.

Given that, I would exclude age as an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3. I love love love having 3. They are now 8, 6 and 3. I don't regret the choice in the slightest. Things I knew before having 3 but didn't really understand until actually having 3: 3 is a LOT more work as they get older. You now have 3 opinions to handle, 3 differnet personalities, 3 differnet types of needs, and 3 people to pay for. It is tricky to juggle it all, and I know it will only become a lot harder as they age. I feel hard-pressed sometimes to treat everyone as an individual instead of a collective whole. I know I am only at the starting line for this and as they age, it will be much harder. Just think hard about creating another human versus just having another baby. There's a difference in those ideas, and I didn't really think about that difference or feel it, until the 3rd got here.

+1 although ours are 9, 7, and 5.

I definitely wouldn't do it because your daughter wants another sister. My DD is the oldest and has two little brothers; she *still* asks if I can have another baby so she can have a sister (no). That you consider that a "pro" seems strange.

I also think it become challenging when they're too spaced out, since the youngest ends up getting schlepped around to things. Ours are roughly all two years apart, so we can do a reasonable amount of things as a group, they can enjoy similar interests, etc. I wouldn't want them too spread out.

[Anonymous]

Here is my list for the same decision

Pros:
I love babies/kids and being a parent generally
My kids would love to have another sibling
I always saw myself w a big family
We could easily fit another baby/toddler/preschooler into our lives w our current schedule and w already having a life set up to accommodate the needs of young kids—we wouldn’t have to change much about our current day to day operations
We could fit another kid into our house just fine
We already own a mini van
We already have all the baby/young kid supplies
We’re pretty good at this parenting thing by now and feel much more competent to handle kids now than we did before our first or second kids were born

Cons:
Less $$
Less time/attention for each kid
Harder to take kids to activities, harder to go on vacations
More years until retirement
More years paying for college
Another person to worry about for the rest of your life
The risk of another pregnancy and childbirth taking a toll on your body/health
The potential to have a kid who has a lot of health needs or special needs or difficult in temperament when our current two kids are really healthy and easy
Guilt about bringing another kid into a broken world and the environmental impact of bringing more people into the world

Conclusion: we’re not having another kid.

[Anonymous]

do it! you will never regret having another kid when you are older. and your kids will always be thankful for another sibling.

[Anonymous]

I love having 3. Have never regretted it for a second. I also didn’t even debate having a 3rd at all. Always hoped it would happen.

[Anonymous]

I went for a 3rd and had twins. Love them, but be prepared for the unexpected.

[Anonymous]

We also had twins.

[Anonymous]

Does your spouse want a 3rd?
If so, and neither of you see any cons, of course have another.

In our case, one spouse really wants a third, while the other does not. So we aren’t having any more.