Divorce after 15 years

[Anonymous]

If you married/got together young (early 20s) and divorced around 40, what happened in your marriage?

Recently went out with a guy who is divorced...very young kids, 1.5 and 3. They were together a good solid 12 years (maybe married that long, touch unclear on the exact timeline) before having kids. It seems like you should have a good foundation to withstand the change that comes with kids.

Definitely will be asking more details if this progresses, but just curious about other people’s circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you married/got together young (early 20s) and divorced around 40, what happened in your marriage?

Recently went out with a guy who is divorced...very young kids, 1.5 and 3. They were together a good solid 12 years (maybe married that long, touch unclear on the exact timeline) before having kids. It seems like you should have a good foundation to withstand the change that comes with kids.

Definitely will be asking more details if this progresses, but just curious about other people’s circumstances.

Kids change everything.

[Anonymous]

Divorce is very common for people getting married in their early 20s. But early 20s + 12 /= 40.

[Anonymous]

Well either someone cheated, he's abusive, lying about being divorced or he's a slouch. With kids that young, something doesn't add up... it takes over a year to get divorced. So he started this with a newborn or while she was pregnant?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well either someone cheated, he's abusive, lying about being divorced or he's a slouch. With kids that young, something doesn't add up... it takes over a year to get divorced. So he started this with a newborn or while she was pregnant?!

Can confirm divorce did happen. I found it on the MD court system.

He mentioned that they were separated for a couple years. I got the impression baby #2 came after the initial separation based on one of the comments. I am assuming an accident. Again, something to get more details on, but figured I wouldn’t press too hard out of the gate.

[Anonymous]

It’s suspicious.

[Anonymous]

Red flags here. Also, why would you want to date a man with kids? Especially such young kids. Do not waste your time.

[Anonymous]

It's been years but I was divorced with a 1.5 yo.

Grateful that my now-wife gave me a chance. OP, there are certainly potential red flags and you may decide to walk away, but there could be a decent explanation. There was in my case.

[Anonymous]

40(ish) F here, married 20 years.
My ex-H cheated, twice.
The 2nd time I was done.

Actually, he cheated more than twice but when the decision was made to separate and divorce I only knew about 2. The other came out of the woodwork after they heard we spilt.

All females involved knew he was married, to me. It was crazy! So glad I’m past it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it. Guy is fully divorced with young kids. Date away. If he’s way to hung up on his ex wife or they are still fighting that is bad. If they are civil and he has a good schedule and you like him go for it. Not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flags here. Also, why would you want to date a man with kids? Especially such young kids. Do not waste your time.

Pray tell what are the red flags? He wears the scarlet D? Big deal. Lots of people get divorced. It sometimes hits the guy out of the blue with the unhappy wife he didn’t know was unhappy. Or, he was a cheating jerk. Either way she will learn and accept him at face value.

[Anonymous]

Most likely infidelity - him or ex-wife. #1 reason for divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is very common for people getting married in their early 20s. But early 20s + 12 /= 40.

They were together for 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Red flags here. Also, why would you want to date a man with kids? Especially such young kids. Do not waste your time.

Pray tell what are the red flags? He wears the scarlet D? Big deal. Lots of people get divorced. It sometimes hits the guy out of the blue with the unhappy wife he didn’t know was unhappy. Or, he was a cheating jerk. Either way she will learn and accept him at face value.

Well, if he didn’t know the wife was unhappy then that is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

He cheated with men.