Missing intimacy with sick husband

[Anonymous]

DH and I have had a dead bedroom for almost a year due to his ongoing gastric and stomach pain issues. He’s been in and out of doctors offices due to his chest discomfort and pain in his stomach. He is anxious and not in the mood for sex.

I feel badly that he is ill but also really am horny and miss being intimate. Whenever I bring it up, he blows up at me and says I am selfish to bother him with this complaint while he is sick. It gets nowhere.

Am I in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

You are not in the wrong, he is selfish for completely refusing you


My spouse refused me for years and I ended up finding someone who was interested

[Anonymous]

he has health issues and you think he should change his focus to you? in sickness and in health....glad I didn't choose somebody like you as my partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he has health issues and you think he should change his focus to you? in sickness and in health....glad I didn't choose somebody like you as my partner

This x million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he has health issues and you think he should change his focus to you? in sickness and in health....glad I didn't choose somebody like you as my partner

This x million.

So she should simply suck it up and live without any intimacy?

[Anonymous]

learn how to masturbate

[Anonymous]

Oh well sucks to be you lean against the washing machine

[Anonymous]

Sorry, she's allowed intimacy at some point. What's wrong with his hands and mouth? Or give her a hall pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he has health issues and you think he should change his focus to you? in sickness and in health....glad I didn't choose somebody like you as my partner

This x million.

So she should simply suck it up and live without any intimacy?

Yes. That's the story of many DCUM marriages here, but it's usually the DH complaining that the DW doesn't want it.

[Anonymous]

You are totally in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have had a dead bedroom for almost a year due to his ongoing gastric and stomach pain issues. He’s been in and out of doctors offices due to his chest discomfort and pain in his stomach. He is anxious and not in the mood for sex.

I feel badly that he is ill but also really am horny and miss being intimate. Whenever I bring it up, he blows up at me and says I am selfish to bother him with this complaint while he is sick. It gets nowhere.

Am I in the wrong?

I don’t know. DH is a cancer patient. Intimacy is something that takes a lot of forms. At the lowest points, he was so ravaged by treatments that it hurt him for me to touch him. At other points, he smelled so sick, I lost a lot of desire for him and got nauseated cuddling. We never stopped talking though and that way, we didn’t truly lose each other. You guys need to work stuff out verbally.

[Anonymous]

He's sick. I think you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

You are not wrong at all. HE is wrong to dismiss your normal sexual needs. Bring this up to him again as a serious threat to the relationship. If still he refuses to make some kind of "provisions" then you have your answer: he is telling you to seek sex elsewhere. Inform him the marriage is now DADT, or don't inform him if you feel that would make his sickness/anxiety worse. Either way, his illness is not a perpetual "get out of sex free" card imposing celibacy for you also.

[Anonymous]

Most advice columnists recommend you finding another man in the same situation, and remaining your husband's caregiver. It's less cruel than divorce and you will be in a better position to care for him than if you are resentful and sexually deprived.

Fortunately for women, there are 10 men for every woman in the same situation as you.

Hugs.

[Anonymous]

can't believe this. I'm a pregnant woman and all I hear about is how the men should just shut up for 9 months while we make a baby and don't feel like having sex. also they need to leave us alone while we recover, and we can start it up again whenever we damn well please because we just went through a major medical event.

this poor DH is having chronic GASTRIC AND STOMACH ISSUES (do you really think he feels hot while trying to hold in farts?) and you're saying too bad, so sad. how about some empathy instead of a hall pass? good lord