WWYD: Different Parenting Styles When Playing with Neighbors

[Anonymous]

We let my 5 year old son play in our backyard and with the neighbors without direct supervision. We'll be inside and check on him periodically or outside but not necessarily playing with him. He and some of the neighbor kids run back and forth between the yards playing. The mother of one of the little girls he plays with is the opposite. She stands near them and watches them play. If my son goes to her house, she's in the backyard watching them the whole time. If her little girl comes to our house, and we're not out there with the kids, she'll stand on the outside of the fence and watch them play. Periodically we'll invite her over to hang out with us while we watch the kids play but not most of the time. Typically, it's because we have stuff to do and having my eldest play outside helps us get stuff done. It's also a break for me to have one of the kids outside playing. That said, I can't help but feel guilty when they're playing in our backyard and I'm inside getting stuff done and the mom is standing outside our fence watching the kids...

Should I let this go? Chalk it up to different parenting styles/comfort levels? Or should I be out there with them/watching them?

[Anonymous]

She is right, you are wrong. Stop sending your child over for free babysitting and tell her you refuse to supervise the kids on your property and don't want her watching so best for the kids not to play together. Kids are 5. They need supervision.

[Anonymous]

You sound lazy and neglectful.

How is your kid so mature she can play outside unsupervised but cant behave in the home so you can get things done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound lazy and neglectful.

How is your kid so mature she can play outside unsupervised but cant behave in the home so you can get things done?

Neighbor is supervising, not to worry.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about it.

Maybe her daughter is a runner or a little too adventurous. I had one who would just take off running down the road periodically. He was probably close to 8 before I just sent him outside to play unsupervised. My other kids tend to follow the rules and stay around the house. They were much younger. If you are comfortable leaving your child outside unsupervised, then you should do what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't assume that different parenting styles means that there is a right and a wrong. Kids are different. Parents are different.

If she truly feels that she is right, you are wrong, and you are using her to supervise your child, then she can use her words and talk to you about it. Otherwise, I would assume that it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry about it.

Maybe her daughter is a runner or a little too adventurous. I had one who would just take off running down the road periodically. He was probably close to 8 before I just sent him outside to play unsupervised. My other kids tend to follow the rules and stay around the house. They were much younger. If you are comfortable leaving your child outside unsupervised, then you should do what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't assume that different parenting styles means that there is a right and a wrong. Kids are different. Parents are different.

If she truly feels that she is right, you are wrong, and you are using her to supervise your child, then she can use her words and talk to you about it. Otherwise, I would assume that it's fine.

+1 to this. My first was a runner and I needed to stay within eyesight until first grade or so. My second is completely different. OP I would let this go unless neighbor is otherwise micromanaging interactions.

[Anonymous]

It's fine. Ignore the people saying you're a shitty parent. You know your kid, you know what he's capable of doing on his own.

[Anonymous]

Each parent has a different style. I live in the suburbs and have over 5 acres. My kids run between my yard and neighbors yard in a similar fashion. I dont follow the kids and neither do the other parents. Our kids are toddlers. The oldest is 7 and the youngest is 2. When I lived in a neighborhood I would be a helicopter but now I just let them play. I peek out ever once in a while to do a count.

[Anonymous]

Our neighbors in a suburb have 2 children, 3 and 5 yrs old. They let their 2 kids play outside alone, the kitchen looks out onto back yard, I'm sure the mother checks (she's a SAHM) on them but they are fine. Sometimes they play outside with them but not always. It's fine because her kids wouldn't go over the fence or open the gate. But that's the way her kids are, she knows them.

[Anonymous]

When mine was around that age I had the same issue (not really an issue) with a neighbor. I knew my kid and she was a responsible 5, hers not so much. Sometimes I would go outside and chat, but most of the time I’d do my chores and poke my head out every few minutes.

[Anonymous]

It's ok if you don't want to supervise your kid, but I wouldn't have someone else's child over without supervision. If her kid is in your backyard, you should be watching them.

[Anonymous]

I also wouldn’t worry about it as long as you’re upfront that you’re not watching them the whole time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also wouldn’t worry about it as long as you’re upfront that you’re not watching them the whole time.

+1

[Anonymous]

I would be your neighbor and I would be judging you. You are right to feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry about it.

Maybe her daughter is a runner or a little too adventurous. I had one who would just take off running down the road periodically. He was probably close to 8 before I just sent him outside to play unsupervised. My other kids tend to follow the rules and stay around the house. They were much younger. If you are comfortable leaving your child outside unsupervised, then you should do what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't assume that different parenting styles means that there is a right and a wrong. Kids are different. Parents are different.

If she truly feels that she is right, you are wrong, and you are using her to supervise your child, then she can use her words and talk to you about it. Otherwise, I would assume that it's fine.

This all of this.