WWYD: Different Parenting Styles When Playing with Neighbors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be your neighbor and I would be judging you. You are right to feel bad.

I’d be judging you for being a hovering Helen whose school-aged kids aren’t mature enough to stay in the backyard. Their teachers must love them! Much independence! Much maturity. Loosen the reins, drone.

[Anonymous]

The kids are 5?

They’re in their backyard?

Come on. Only helicopter parents would stand out there scrutinizing every interaction. Just because your neighbor is obsessive doesn’t mean you have to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound lazy and neglectful.

How is your kid so mature she can play outside unsupervised but cant behave in the home so you can get things done?

Neighbor is supervising, not to worry.

This would annoy me. Let the kids play!

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what the option to "just letting this go" would be--you're going to talk to her about her parenting style? And say what exactly? Some parents are far more protective than other parents. That doesn't make them "over" protective, just more. How is that hurting you, OP? Let her have her style and you have yours. For what it's worth you don't say that she's come to you and said that you should be watching your children more closely so I'm not sure why you are even considering getting into a conversation with her about this. Trying to understand your motives.

[Anonymous]

I think you're fine. I have a similar situation like this sometimes in play groups or on playgrounds. I tend to let my daughter just play by herself unless she really needs me. Sometimes if she's playing with another kid who is more helicopter-y, that parent will try to help/entertain my daughter, too. I'm sure they wonder why I'm "neglecting my child." But I'm not going to become a helicopter parent just to please other helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be your neighbor and I would be judging you. You are right to feel bad.

And I judge you for being an a$$hole and not recognizing that people have different parenting styles, and I judge you for not being smart enough to understand that there is nothing wrong with letting a 5 year old play unsupervised in your yard.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're fine. I have a similar situation like this sometimes in play groups or on playgrounds. I tend to let my daughter just play by herself unless she really needs me. Sometimes if she's playing with another kid who is more helicopter-y, that parent will try to help/entertain my daughter, too. I'm sure they wonder why I'm "neglecting my child." But I'm not going to become a helicopter parent just to please other helicopter parents.

This.
It’s like negative reinforcement.

[Anonymous]

You’re right OP. She’s a helicopter. It sounds like you’re doing just the right thing by engaging sometimes and not others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kids are 5?

They’re in their backyard?

Come on. Only helicopter parents would stand out there scrutinizing every interaction. Just because your neighbor is obsessive doesn’t mean you have to be.

+100 I totally understand if you’re kid is a runner or had impulse control issues (I’ve got 1 out of 4 like that.. it changes things!) but they are 5! Are you hovering to make sure they don’t eat rocks?

[Anonymous]

If the yards are fenced, I’d be inside too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kids are 5?

They’re in their backyard?

Come on. Only helicopter parents would stand out there scrutinizing every interaction. Just because your neighbor is obsessive doesn’t mean you have to be.

+100 I totally understand if you’re kid is a runner or had impulse control issues (I’ve got 1 out of 4 like that.. it changes things!) but they are 5! Are you hovering to make sure they don’t eat rocks?

Seriously! The only reason to stay out there is if the kid has severe developmental delays or other issues. Sorry, I’m not going to treat my elementary kid like a toddler to make you feel better. Find a different way to deal with your anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound lazy and neglectful.

How is your kid so mature she can play outside unsupervised but cant behave in the home so you can get things done?

So much this. You are the one doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Your 5 year old needs supervision when playing off your property or when you have other kids over at your house. Period.

If your kid is playing alone in your backyard, then it's your business.

[Anonymous]

Not supervising a 5 year old is neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your 5 year old needs supervision when playing off your property or when you have other kids over at your house. Period.

If your kid is playing alone in your backyard, then it's your business.

This. I don't know anyone who wasn't in the backyard with the kids at 5.