WWYD: Different Parenting Styles When Playing with Neighbors

[Anonymous]

Exact same scenario here except we're on two cul-de-sacs and my son is the only 5YO out of four in the neighborhood who is allowed to "roam". I've had conversations with the other parents - one set don't trust their son to not run off, the other parents have to go out with the kids because the kids won't voluntarily go outside on their own (they'd rather be inside) and say we're lucky my kid is outside so much. If a kid comes over to our cul-de-sac I sometimes offer the other parent that I'll sit out and supervise and sometimes they take me up on it, other times they don't. We don't really have kids playing in backyards (too wooded), they're mostly playing in driveways and streets/cul-de-sacs riding bikes, playing stomp-rockets, sidewalk chalk, or playing up at the soccer field very close to our house.

As soon as kids start going back into houses (versus only playing outside), then we'll be a little more strict about where he's going because he'll be harder to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 5 year old needs supervision when playing off your property or when you have other kids over at your house. Period.

If your kid is playing alone in your backyard, then it's your business.

This. I don't know anyone who wasn't in the backyard with the kids at 5.

Then you must not know very many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:~4.5-6 are kinda borderline ages. Some kids and/or parents are fine without supervision and some need/are more comfortable with it. IMO neither of you are wrong or weird, which means neither of you should be judging the other, either.

+1

+2
My older DD will be 5 in January, we have a fenced in backyard, and I still won’t let her play out there unsupervised. Our yard is shaped in such a way that I don’t have visibility of the entire yard from one window, and I will readily admit I am overprotective. But I don’t judge other people who might take a different approach in the same situation. My own parents let me play outside in an unfenced yard by the time I was her age, but I grew up in a more rural area...and in the 80s...and with a very large, protective dog!

A kid who will be five in three months and a kid who is almost six (OP doesn't say exactly how old her five-year old is) are not the same. I'm saying that in agreement to both the PPs, but just pointing out that when people say a kid is "five" not only could they be talking about a 12-month difference in age (or more, if they're rounding up), but they could also be talking about two very different personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbors in a suburb have 2 children, 3 and 5 yrs old. They let their 2 kids play outside alone, the kitchen looks out onto back yard, I'm sure the mother checks (she's a SAHM) on them but they are fine. Sometimes they play outside with them but not always. It's fine because her kids wouldn't go over the fence for fortnite hoodie skin or open the gate. But that's the way her kids are, she knows them.

Each parent has a different style. I live in the suburbs and have over 5 acres. My kids run between my yard and neighbors yard in a similar fashion. I dont follow the kids and neither do the other parents. Our kids are toddlers. The oldest is 7 and the youngest is 2. When I lived in a neighborhood I would be a helicopter but now I just let them play. I peek out ever once in a while to do a count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbors in a suburb have 2 children, 3 and 5 yrs old. They let their 2 kids play outside alone, the kitchen looks out onto back yard, I'm sure the mother checks (she's a SAHM) on them but they are fine. Sometimes they play outside with them but not always. It's fine because her kids wouldn't go over the fence for fortnite hoodie skin or open the gate. But that's the way her kids are, she knows them.

Each parent has a different style. I live in the suburbs and have over 5 acres. My kids run between my yard and neighbors yard in a similar fashion. I dont follow the kids and neither do the other parents. Our kids are toddlers. The oldest is 7 and the youngest is 2. When I lived in a neighborhood I would be a helicopter but now I just let them play. I peek out ever once in a while to do a count.

Are you assuming the 7yo is supervising the 2yo, then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 5 year old needs supervision when playing off your property or when you have other kids over at your house. Period.

If your kid is playing alone in your backyard, then it's your business.

This. I don't know anyone who wasn't in the backyard with the kids at 5.

Then you must not know very many people.

Not really. PP probably had a kid with delays and her circle didn’t include NT kids.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the neighborhood and the kids. My 5 and 3 year olds will play for 5-10 minutes by themselves outside. We live on a quiet street and they are very good about staying in our yard. They don't have neighbors they play with, but if the neighbor friends were similar, I'd be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

I think I would only invite her kid over when I was willing to supervise, so she doesn’t have to hang at the fence, because that’s just awkward. Otherwise, do your own thing.