DH hasn't booked vasectomy

[Anonymous]

I am 10 months PP. I experienced a lot of issues PP that required pelvic floor therapy so we've only recently begun having sex (with condoms). I do not want to get back on birth control. I told him if I get pregnant again I will not have another baby because it hurt my body so bad. So he's had nearly 2 years to get a vasectomy but he's scared so he hasn't even found a doctor. If I have to make a choice I will resent him forever because I know what my choice would be.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

I have an only child, by choice, but 10 months pp is a little soon to make that choice. If I were you I'd wait before taking permanent steps.

If you're sure, though, then don't have sex with him until he gets it done.

[Anonymous]

Just keep using condoms. If his hesitation is just about being scared of the procedure, eventually he'll want to get rid of condoms and book it. If his hesitation is about possibly wanting more kids this gives you time to get on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Ummm did DH agree to this or did you just tell him?

Seems a little soon based on your description to make such a dramatic decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm did DH agree to this or did you just tell him?

Seems a little soon based on your description to make such a dramatic decision.

What's the alternative? Abstinence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm did DH agree to this or did you just tell him?

Seems a little soon based on your description to make such a dramatic decision.

What's the alternative? Abstinence?

Really? There are of course multiple ways to avoid pregnancy but obviously abstinence is one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only child, by choice, but 10 months pp is a little soon to make that choice. If I were you I'd wait before taking permanent steps.

If you're sure, though, then don't have sex with him until he gets it done.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why don't you get your tubes tied? That's the only decision you can make for yourself, you can't make him get a vasectomy and it sounds like he doesn't want one if its been 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Do not go on birth control. Do not get your tubes tied. That’s not fair to you. Why should all the burden with more side effects than a vasectomy full on you?

Insist on condoms or no sex. You could also do condoms plus the rhythm method - always use condoms, but completely abstain from any sex on the days you are most likely to get pregnant. Between having to use condoms and having eight or so days out of the month blocked out as too risky to have sex, he will probably cave and get the vasectomy. If he doesn’t, keep insisting on condoms plus rhythm. That’s all I used for twenty years and it kept me from getting pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the problem. You're using condoms. Add tracking your ovulation and you should be in good shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the problem. You're using condoms. Add tracking your ovulation and you should be in good shape.

17.35pm here. Yes, "tracking your ovulation" is what I meant when I said rhythm method. ALWAYS use condoms but then on top of that, do not have sex at all on the days you are most likely to be fertile, or several days on either end surrounding those days. So about eight days out of the month, dont have sex at all. If he can't deal with that, he can get a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

Stop having sex. Seriously.

I’m also 10 months PP and my DH got a vasectomy yesterday. He was procrastinating a great deal - though he’d agreed to do it - until I pointed out how hard it was for me to be in there mood when I worried about getting pregnant (even with condoms).

I didn’t say no sex, but we had way less, and I honestly told him I thought we’d have way more after he did it.

[Anonymous]

If baby is only 10 months, how has he had 2 years? Did you not want a child to begin with? That is still only 19 months that you have been pregnant / post partum. I don't follow the issue. He has had 10 months, but maybe he is not sure about your resolve in not having another?

Something seems off on the time

[Anonymous]

Is this your first child, OP? If so then don’t rush into anything permanent while your baby is still so young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the problem. You're using condoms. Add tracking your ovulation and you should be in good shape.

17.35pm here. Yes, "tracking your ovulation" is what I meant when I said rhythm method. ALWAYS use condoms but then on top of that, do not have sex at all on the days you are most likely to be fertile, or several days on either end surrounding those days. So about eight days out of the month, dont have sex at all. If he can't deal with that, he can get a vasectomy.

8 days of month of fertility, 8 days of period, those two weeks left will be it