DH hasn't booked vasectomy

[Anonymous]

How old is he? Many events and changes can happen in life. I would not render myself infertile based upon my spouse’s pelvic floor issues. Sorry but it’s the hard truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? Many events and changes can happen in life. I would not render myself infertile based upon my spouse’s pelvic floor issues. Sorry but it’s the hard truth.

Man here. I had my sperm banked before I had it done.

[Anonymous]

This might sound dumb, but we both got sterilized. It honestly seemed like the only fair solution. Recovery was easy and now we have a ton of sex because it’s consequence-free. Like, 4-5 times a week, despite having a 4 year old, 1 year old, and 2 month old. No more fighting about any of the family planning issues.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I haven’t gotten my period back so no rhythm would work for me yet. This is our second child. I don’t want him to do it if he doesn’t want to, but I think it’s unfair to continue putting the birth control burden on me. I don’t hate condoms but it’s not ideal. I’ll ask him what he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not go on birth control. Do not get your tubes tied. That’s not fair to you. Why should all the burden with more side effects than a vasectomy full on you?

Insist on condoms or no sex. You could also do condoms plus the rhythm method - always use condoms, but completely abstain from any sex on the days you are most likely to get pregnant. Between having to use condoms and having eight or so days out of the month blocked out as too risky to have sex, he will probably cave and get the vasectomy. If he doesn’t, keep insisting on condoms plus rhythm. That’s all I used for twenty years and it kept me from getting pregnant.

Or he'll just cheat on her, like most men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? Many events and changes can happen in life. I would not render myself infertile based upon my spouse’s pelvic floor issues. Sorry but it’s the hard truth.

Man here. I had my sperm banked before I had it done.

A lot of divorces happen post vasectomy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? Many events and changes can happen in life. I would not render myself infertile based upon my spouse’s pelvic floor issues. Sorry but it’s the hard truth.

Man here. I had my sperm banked before I had it done.

Does your wife know? That would really piss me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? Many events and changes can happen in life. I would not render myself infertile based upon my spouse’s pelvic floor issues. Sorry but it’s the hard truth.

Man here. I had my sperm banked before I had it done.

Does your wife know? That would really piss me off.

Why should it? If my husband told me he wanted to do that id be totally fine w it

Op consider this compromise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is he? Many events and changes can happen in life. I would not render myself infertile based upon my spouse’s pelvic floor issues. Sorry but it’s the hard truth.

Man here. I had my sperm banked before I had it done.

A lot of divorces happen post vasectomy

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 10 months PP. I experienced a lot of issues PP that required pelvic floor therapy so we've only recently begun having sex (with condoms). I do not want to get back on birth control. I told him if I get pregnant again I will not have another baby because it hurt my body so bad. So he's had nearly 2 years to get a vasectomy but he's scared so he hasn't even found a doctor. If I have to make a choice I will resent him forever because I know what my choice would be.

Advice?

Scared? Of what,? He has no intention of getting a vasectomy. No vasectomy=no sex of any kind. He has had two years. Sorry but he is a lying jackass.

[Anonymous]

We wanted one child only. Husband got a V right after our child's 1st birthday. Happy carefree sex now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We wanted one child only. Husband got a V right after our child's 1st birthday. Happy carefree sex now.

How are you possibly having "carefree sex" when a vasectomy is not 100% effective?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might sound dumb, but we both got sterilized. It honestly seemed like the only fair solution. Recovery was easy and now we have a ton of sex because it’s consequence-free. Like, 4-5 times a week, despite having a 4 year old, 1 year old, and 2 month old. No more fighting about any of the family planning issues.

This sounds great and my plan too (current almost due with my 3rd kid). Can’t wait to not worry about BC anymore!

[Anonymous]

I think this is unfair, OP. If he's not sure then he's not sure. It's his body! It's not like he's forcing you to get pregnant again.

Did you guys fully agree on not having another child? Or did you just decide you don't want anymore and now DH has to get a vasectomy?

If you happen to get pregnant and want to get an abortion, is he okay with that? Why don't you get an IUD or an implant? If you use that and condoms, you are virtually guaranteed to not get pregnant. Even if you use condoms and spermicide, that's pretty good, too.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused OP. Did he agree to one? Is he complaining about the condoms? Is he pressuring you into getting birth control instead of him? If the answers to these questions are no, I'll give you the same advice I've given people when the spouses are swapped.

You don't get to choose what he does with his body. If he's happy with condoms then continue with condoms. If you're the one with the issue with condoms, you get the birth control. You don't get to tell someone what to do with their body