Neighbor flirts with husband...

[Anonymous]

We live down the street from a woman, widowed last year, with a young daughter. Her child plays with my kids; we've known them well for years (including husband who passed away).
Lately, she has been...flirting with my husband! I don't know how else to say it and I don't know what to do. My husband is always very gracious with her. But it's getting weird.
She used to frequently text him for help lifting stuff, moving stuff, things her spouse would do. This wasn't that odd; he was happy to help and she often called other local dads/guys as well.
Since August or so it's become weird. She invited him (not me) over for drinks. He went over to chat, thinking it was like a friendly meet-in-the-yard thing, and she was dressed up and served martinis. (He had brought a beer). Last weekend, she texted him to go hiking - just the two of them!! It's really bizarre. He said no, he was busy.
Then yesterday, she invited him to go out to dinner at a restaurant patio - again just the two of them! He said no again and that he looked forward to "all of us" hanging out in a socially distanced manner soon.
She is a very nice person, and I don't know if she's clueless, trying to make friends etc, but this is getting annoying and strange. Do I say something to her? Does my husband just keep dodging her?

[Anonymous]

Your husband says something direct to her. “I don’t go out with other women without [your name].” And he pulls back on spending time with her. Next time she invites just him over, both of you go together. And keep doing that. The invitations aimed just at him will quickly stop.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even understand how the drinks thing went down, let alone a dinner invite. Yes, he needs to avoid her.

[Anonymous]

Your H is handling it appropriately, so no need to say anything yourself. The most I'd say is, hey, I was hurt that you didn't invite me for a drink! Keep it light and let her know that you've noticed.

[Anonymous]

Good for your husband for graciously declining! Do either of you have a friend you can offer to set her up with? Pandemic dating as a widow has to be awful, but having someone she can at least call and facetime with might be nice for her, and remove the weirdness she's putting out there...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even understand how the drinks thing went down, let alone a dinner invite. Yes, he needs to avoid her.

I could see the drinks thing - I might go to a socially-distanced outdoor thing in a neighbor's yard without DH, assuming it was going to be a group of neighbors. He was likely shocked it was a date!

To OP, your DH has been giving her clear signs that he's not comfortable and she keeps boundary stepping. It's time for a flat-out "Not without Larla present" response to shut this down.

[Anonymous]

Your DH ought to be like Mike Pence.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t your husband, is it (with details shifted)?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915511.page

[Anonymous]

Your husband needs to say to her, "I don't go on dates with women other than my wife, and this invitation feels like a date. Maria and I would be happy to have you over with your DD for a backyard BBQ next week though."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t your husband, is it (with details shifted)?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915511.page

Wait, what? Isn’t this a DH posting above? And the OP of this thread is a DW.

[Anonymous]

Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t your husband, is it (with details shifted)?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915511.page

Wait, what? Isn’t this a DH posting above? And the OP of this thread is a DW.

Yes....that PP is asking if the OP of the thread she posted is this OPs husband

[Anonymous]

Woman up and tell her to back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

A man can absolutely be friends with a woman other than his wife. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be boundaries or limitations. The neighbor's invitations violate sensible boundaries.