Neighbor flirts with husband...

[Anonymous]

Did she murder her husband? This is very strange behavior. Could be a strange response to trauma.

[Anonymous]

I have a widow friend and she definitely flirts with my husband but he knows it and just rolls his eyes. She hasn’t invited him to anything so it doesn’t bother me. Maybe she is just trying to keep her skills up to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a widow friend and she definitely flirts with my husband but he knows it and just rolls his eyes. She hasn’t invited him to anything so it doesn’t bother me. Maybe she is just trying to keep her skills up to date.

Skills or no skills, any way you look at this it's disrespectful to you, your DH and your marriage. She is no friend of yours if she thinks this is OK.

[Anonymous]

She may be practicing with a safe person. Before my mother died, there were several single women in their circle that would flirt with my dad. When she died, they stopped. He was their safe flirt until he wasn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may be practicing with a safe person. Before my mother died, there were several single women in their circle that would flirt with my dad. When she died, they stopped. He was their safe flirt until he wasn’t.

others clearly live far more dramatic and interesting lives than myself. And I'm glad for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a widow friend and she definitely flirts with my husband but he knows it and just rolls his eyes. She hasn’t invited him to anything so it doesn’t bother me. Maybe she is just trying to keep her skills up to date.

Skills or no skills, any way you look at this it's disrespectful to you, your DH and your marriage. She is no friend of yours if she thinks this is OK.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live down the street from a woman, widowed last year, with a young daughter. Her child plays with my kids; we've known them well for years (including husband who passed away).
Lately, she has been...flirting with my husband! I don't know how else to say it and I don't know what to do. My husband is always very gracious with her. But it's getting weird.
She used to frequently text him for help lifting stuff, moving stuff, things her spouse would do. This wasn't that odd; he was happy to help and she often called other local dads/guys as well.
Since August or so it's become weird. She invited him (not me) over for drinks. He went over to chat, thinking it was like a friendly meet-in-the-yard thing, and she was dressed up and served martinis. (He had brought a beer). Last weekend, she texted him to go hiking - just the two of them!! It's really bizarre. He said no, he was busy.
Then yesterday, she invited him to go out to dinner at a restaurant patio - again just the two of them! He said no again and that he looked forward to "all of us" hanging out in a socially distanced manner soon.
She is a very nice person, and I don't know if she's clueless, trying to make friends etc, but this is getting annoying and strange. Do I say something to her? Does my husband just keep dodging her?

Bumping for comparisons to current thread about neighbor asking ops dh for help while her husband is deployed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Oh come on...dressed to the nines serving martinis?

That is looking for a f@ck, not a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

I think you overreacted.

Yeah, with that age difference and the situation (lunch? during work hours? really?), I wouldn't worry about it at alllll. You sound insecure.

BS! Age difference means nothing these days. Men can be worn down by pretty much any female that is constantly throwing themselves at them. Her DH had the typical response to make her feel secure and let it go. I’m with you PP, keep on him that you are not comfortable with the 1:1 lunches and that you will cut off his b**** if you find out he does it again. Unless this woman is 400 lbs with a beard and 10 teeth I wouldn’t be ok with this either. Fyi stats show 85% of affairs are with coworkers! I would also show up at his office dressed to the 9s with his lunch packed in a pharmacy bag and when leaving I’d whisper to grandma that your DH has a raging case of herpes and please don’t mention it to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

This makes me so annoyed. I am in a male dominated industry. I can't invite a colleague out for a friendly lunch without his wife getting upset? Ugg, I have no sexual interest and if I were a man no one would blink.

This wife is batshit crazy. Reminds me of years ago I worked with a man who had a wife like that. She one time call me as was like "why are you calling my husband?" I'm like "um because we need to discuss the Oracle roll out that is constantly causing outages?"

Freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t your husband, is it (with details shifted)?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/915511.page

Wait, what? Isn’t this a DH posting above? And the OP of this thread is a DW.

I think it’s the same OP, with details changes. She/he is trying to work something out - who knows if it’s the DW, DH or troll.

That post is now gone from dcurban. Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

This makes me so annoyed. I am in a male dominated industry. I can't invite a colleague out for a friendly lunch without his wife getting upset? Ugg, I have no sexual interest and if I were a man no one would blink.

A group, 2 or 3 but a sole married guy is not appropriate. Nor vice versa. It's a good way to invite gossip at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should refer to you as mother.

Truly OP. This is all sounding very Mike and Mother Pence. It’s so bizarre how uncomfortable some married people are with their spouses doing things independently with people of a different sex.

Some of you are so freaking stupid it’s painful. This bitch is trying to steal OP’s husband.

Her husband is a man. Not an umbrella. He can't be "stolen". She's not going to trip and fall on his dick.

If he's a cheater, he'll cheat. If he's not, then he'll shut her unwanted advances down. Not much OP can do about it either way.

They are a married couple so it's up to both to shut this woman down. OP's husband shouldn't have gone anywhere without OP with this nutter. At this point they both need to do a slow freeze, friendly but firm. Her household chores need to be done by her, or she can pay someone. OP you can your DH got way too involved to begin with. Live and learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why dont' you join in? Every time she invites, both of you show up? She'll get the hint.

No THEY need to decline instead of reinforcing her horrible behavior. Honestly she should be ashamed of herself, but a invite to him also means his wife as well. How that one works, but at this point it's time to run fast from this woman. There were probably red flags when her husband was alive they missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

This makes me so annoyed. I am in a male dominated industry. I can't invite a colleague out for a friendly lunch without his wife getting upset? Ugg, I have no sexual interest and if I were a man no one would blink.

I'm a woman in a male-dominated industry and your reaction to this is ridiculous. There is a HUGE difference between meetings with married men (without their wives) for work or even as friends if there is an established friendship, and what OP describes this woman is doing.

DH should just say to her that the invites to just him are getting uncomfortable and that he and his wife are happy to hang out with her, but he's not going to be seeing her without DW anymore. Period, end of story, and DH can say it much more sympathetically than that but the bottom line that the invites are uncomfy and he's not coming alone has to be said clearly.

None of that stops you or me or any woman from having married guys as friends or meeting for work purpopses, but if a friendship wasn't established before, a newly single woman should not be expecting married men to become their BFFs without their wives around.