Be graceful when I decline your COVID birthday party

[Anonymous]

When people send regrets to your kid's birthday party in the time of COVID, your only option is to accept that gracefully. Do not push, inquire, wheedle or whine. Do not ask "is this just because of coronavirus"?

I said no thank you, and Happy Birthday, Billy. Drop it. I owe you no explanation. I owe you no reassurance.

No, you "come on," I don't need another rundown of how "safe" your event is. You do you. We're not coming.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Feel better now that you ranted about your judgmental superiority?

[Anonymous]

Agree. Firmly. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel better now that you ranted about your judgmental superiority?

I wouldn't be here is she had simply accepted a prompt and polite no thank you. I'm hoping others can benefit from this thread. Many will decline your oh-so-safe birthday parties and holiday parties in the months to come. Be prepared to not be a whiny brat about it.

[Anonymous]

As a host of a party coming up next month, I full heartily agree with you op. Your host should have realized people have very different comfort levels and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Uh, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a host of a party coming up next month, I full heartily agree with you op. Your host should have realized people have very different comfort levels and let it go.

Thank you. If only more people were like you. I, too, have had friends tease or shame me when I decline. It's absurd. -np

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people send regrets to your kid's birthday party in the time of COVID, your only option is to accept that gracefully. Do not push, inquire, wheedle or whine. Do not ask "is this just because of coronavirus"?

I said no thank you, and Happy Birthday, Billy. Drop it. I owe you no explanation. I owe you no reassurance.

No, you "come on," I don't need another rundown of how "safe" your event is. You do you. We're not coming.

Part of being human is that people have different interactions and opinions about things. You can't dictate how other people react to you- only how you react to them. So telling people to be graceful is fruitless- be graceful yourself. If someone asks you a question you are not ocnfrotable answering then just say so or repeat yourself- but you can't force other people to interact and act exactly as you want them to.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Covid or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people send regrets to your kid's birthday party in the time of COVID, your only option is to accept that gracefully. Do not push, inquire, wheedle or whine. Do not ask "is this just because of coronavirus"?

I said no thank you, and Happy Birthday, Billy. Drop it. I owe you no explanation. I owe you no reassurance.

No, you "come on," I don't need another rundown of how "safe" your event is. You do you. We're not coming.

Part of being human is that people have different interactions and opinions about things. You can't dictate how other people react to you- only how you react to them. So telling people to be graceful is fruitless- be graceful yourself. If someone asks you a question you are not ocnfrotable answering then just say so or repeat yourself- but you can't force other people to interact and act exactly as you want them to.

No but perhaps some people need reminders that their behavior is rude. Or to see that it's not accepted socially to pressure those who don't want to attend. Much of our behavior in society is dictated by norms, and those norms are changing since COVID.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you decline politely like you would have pre covid?

"Sorry we won't be able to make it. I hope Larlo has a wonderful Birthday!"

[Anonymous]

Well, yes it is because of Covid-19.

I can't really tell you to your face that I've lost all respect for you because you just invited me to a party during a pandemic, and I know social distancing won't be implemented, can I?

So we're not going to see much of each other in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people send regrets to your kid's birthday party in the time of COVID, your only option is to accept that gracefully. Do not push, inquire, wheedle or whine. Do not ask "is this just because of coronavirus"?

I said no thank you, and Happy Birthday, Billy. Drop it. I owe you no explanation. I owe you no reassurance.

No, you "come on," I don't need another rundown of how "safe" your event is. You do you. We're not coming.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Everyone that we have declined has been understanding and respectful. People who push back are the same people who argue and push back in other contexts. You really don't need them in your lives, if you have a choice. And remember that if you've already said your answer, you don't actually need to respond to follow-up texts or emails.