Am I wrong to be annoyed by copycat sister?

[Anonymous]

I feel silly typing this out and need an outsider perspective. I feel like my whole life I have been attempting to build an identity independent of my younger sister. The problem is, I feel threatened by her because even though she is similar to me in her interests and hobbies, she is the more attractive and successful one. It’s like whatever ideas I have, she executes them much better than I.

I was artistic as a child and was pretty good. She also picks up art as her hobby and excels at it. I wouldn’t say she’s bad at all but as good as me. I was bookish and majored in literature in school. She didn’t but English was her favorite subject and suddenly she has taken up reading asa big hobby and loves to brag about how many books she’s read. She also seems to dress similar to how I do with us both gravitating towards the same style of clothes and shoes.

It’s very annoying! I just want to be me and not have a prettier and mote successful version of a mini me in my sister!

[Anonymous]

I have a younger sister who a lot of people call my shadow.

Over the years I have learned to only share things that I won't mind her copying. Most of the time I find it complimentary, but sometimes it does drive me crazy.

[Anonymous]

You're mad because your sister has started reading more?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you’re wrong (assuming it’s as you describe and she’s not being a jerk about it.) First, you are sisters so it’s not surprising your interests and talents lie in the same areas. Second, people learn about hobbies from friends and family-it’s completely normal for one sister to think/say “oh that’s a lovely mug you’ve made!” And develop interest in learning how themselves. I don’t mean it unkindly, op, everyone has little hang ups and insecurities but if you are wondering whether this is unreasonable vs justified, definitely unreasonable. (All of that changes if she’s an a-hole about it!)

[Anonymous]

You are being silly, OP. One sibling doesn’t get a monopoly on reading or art or being pretty.
For perspective, my sister is a copycat. I spend lots of time looking for unique clothing and home decor. My grown DD knows my style and often buys unique items for me as gifts. Every.single.time my sister will quiz me or DD about where we got it and then run out and get the exact same item (or maybe in a different color).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're mad because your sister has started reading more?

NP - I picked this up as well and OP, it’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you’re wrong (assuming it’s as you describe and she’s not being a jerk about it.) First, you are sisters so it’s not surprising your interests and talents lie in the same areas. Second, people learn about hobbies from friends and family-it’s completely normal for one sister to think/say “oh that’s a lovely mug you’ve made!” And develop interest in learning how themselves. I don’t mean it unkindly, op, everyone has little hang ups and insecurities but if you are wondering whether this is unreasonable vs justified, definitely unreasonable. (All of that changes if she’s an a-hole about it!)

Op here. How would I know if she’s being a jerk?

[Anonymous]

I would expect my sister, who grew up in the same city, in the same SES, with the same mom, who is the same race, to have very similar style to me. I mean, really??

Reading books is also not really a niche hobby.

I don't think she's copying you at all...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a younger sister who a lot of people call my shadow.

Over the years I have learned to only share things that I won't mind her copying. Most of the time I find it complimentary, but sometimes it does drive me crazy.

This.

It sounds annoying.

[Anonymous]

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would expect my sister, who grew up in the same city, in the same SES, with the same mom, who is the same race, to have very similar style to me. I mean, really??

Reading books is also not really a niche hobby.

I don't think she's copying you at all...

This. Your examples are weak. Reading is a hugely common hobby; silly to think you have a monopoly on it. Most people I know wear “similar” style clothing and shoes because we are similar SES and shop at mainstream stores. Not really anything I analyze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect my sister, who grew up in the same city, in the same SES, with the same mom, who is the same race, to have very similar style to me. I mean, really??

Reading books is also not really a niche hobby.

I don't think she's copying you at all...

This. Your examples are weak. Reading is a hugely common hobby; silly to think you have a monopoly on it. Most people I know wear “similar” style clothing and shoes because we are similar SES and shop at mainstream stores. Not really anything I analyze.

+1

English was her favourite subject, but you think that because she’s interested in reading that she’s copying you?

She tried art, was good at it, but it copying you because she continued to do something she was good at and enjoyed?

And as for fashion - well, unless you have a very unique sense of style, PP hit it on the head that pretty much everyone dresses fairly similarly these days. By your assumptions, my neighbour who won’t look me in the eye is mimicking me, and so is the coworker I’ve only met IRL once.
Aside from that, sisters are raised and initially dressed by the same people, and tend to have somewhat similar body types and colouraiton (although not always).

I think you’re looking for things she’s copying you with, you’re so desperate to dislike her. Your identity is wrapped up in it, and it’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

You’re cray and your feelings here are not valid.

[Anonymous]

Find a really unique hobby and see if she copies it. The things you have mentioned are pretty standard OP.

Start raising miniature goats, or making dioramas of murder scenes, or writing star trek fan fiction,.or dressing your pets up in matching cosplay costumes for their own instagram. Then, if she copies you, you know it's copying and not just standard interests from being in the same family and growing up in the same place.

[Anonymous]

Get help. This is a you problem.