Dementia and the crazies

[Anonymous]

So what’s the most outrageous paranoid delusion your LO with dementia had?

[Anonymous]

Many but they weren't verbal enough at the time to say. But, lots of accusations of stealing, abusing them, being mean, etc.

[Anonymous]

Apartment is infested with insects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many but they weren't verbal enough at the time to say. But, lots of accusations of stealing, abusing them, being mean, etc.

This is interesting. My mother passes the dementia screen, but has become more and more combative with no other cause found (e.g. no UTI). She is selective with who she is paranoid about. When I take a break from her and her nastiness she assumes other people are being rude to her and will give them a tongue lashing. I will hear about all the people who did her wrong and she gave them a piece of her mind.

[Anonymous]

Men in black trench coats stringing Christmas lights in palm trees (behind our home in New England). She was crawling across the floor so they couldn't see her through the windows.

[Anonymous]

Fyi, thar delusions can be caused by things other than dementia. My elderly relatives with dementia never had any real introcate delusions—they were just out of it (which sometimes leads to some paranoia because its scary not to know whats going on). But I had one relative that had the “infected with bugs” delusion and it turned out to be an OCD like mental health issue that was treated well with a psychiatric medication. (And they also checked her for eye issues which can make it look like things are crawling.). Another elderly relative had a really weird delusion about children marching through the house in a parade or protest, and it turned out that it was a long-standing medication for thyroid issues that needed to be adjusted because her metabolism had changed suddenly as she aged.
Things like vitamin B deficiencies that are common in the elderly can also lead to delusions.

[Anonymous]

Both my grandmother and my mother had dementia. None of this is funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my grandmother and my mother had dementia. None of this is funny.

It is completely normal for people to cope with humor. When I worked on an oncology unit some of the most incredible and compassionate oncologists had a dark sense of humor. "I just ruined another mother's life!" "Oh and guess what...he needs a none marrow transplant...you're welcome." They were not laughing at people's pain. They were not laughing at people's pain or trying to be cruel and demeaning. They were trying to cope with a horribly emotionally painful profession. As long we treat the person kindly, caregivers have a right to cope in whatever way works as long as they are not harming their bodies (e.g. drugs and alcohol) or harming someone else. Clearly this form of humor does not help for you. I suggest you not read this thread. It is for people it find it helpful to blow off steam.

[Anonymous]

I need this laugh today! ~Caregiver to parent with Alzheimers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my grandmother and my mother had dementia. None of this is funny.

You’re right none of this is funny. So we should just shut up like the dutiful caregivers we are until we explode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my grandmother and my mother had dementia. None of this is funny.

+1. None of my family members had/has dementia but I find these postings cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my grandmother and my mother had dementia. None of this is funny.

+1. None of my family members had/has dementia but I find these postings cruel.

All you need to do is leave the thread. Allow those of walking the walk to vent and cope. I would MUCH rather see people make these jokes here and be able to be kind to their loved one, than try to please YOU and then explode and be abusive toward a challenging elderly.

Has your parent ever had a temper tantrum at you?

Has your parent ever tried to hit in a delusional rage?

Has the person ever accused you of being with the FBI?

Has the person ever yelled at you for letting all these imaginary bugs crawl all over the table?

No? Well then clearly you have no business judging. Oh maybe you have experienced this day after day week after week and you never once complained or joked? Would you like a gold star or a certificate? Trophy perhaps? Congrats! You are better than we are! Now go write a book and tell us how it's done.

[Anonymous]

My Mom (with dementia) thinks my Dad and I are having sex.

[Anonymous]

My favorite is that we don’t have enough half and half. I have had mornings with no joke 50+ conversations about the state of the half and half supply (ample!).

Humor is very, very important. Even about the darkest stuff.

[Anonymous]

MIL said she is trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life: go back to school or have another child.