Men being ruder to you when they have a crush on you

[Anonymous]

This is a thing I've heard from men, that attractive women make them flustered and sometimes they act ruder when a woman is attractive. I wonder if there's some resentment at play with some (dysfunctional) men wherein they get angry at a woman they perceive would have rejected them, and thus decide to act uncivilly towards her.

Anyone have any experiences with this?

[Anonymous]

Yes, a lot of (damaged) men will "neg" women. They want to lower her self esteem/put her on the defensive.

[Anonymous]

That is abusive behavior. I'd run far from any man that behaves in such an idiotic, manipulative way.

[Anonymous]

There's being actively rude, like "negging" her. Then there's inadvertantly rude, like being so flustered they can't manage an actual conversation with her. Two different things, really.

[Anonymous]

I have definitely interacted with service personnel (most recently while checking in at a hotel) that will be kind of rude/short with me, all while looking at me with that glimmer in their eyes that I'm old enough to recognize as attraction. FWIW I am a fairly attractive youngish woman, slim, have dated some notable figures, etc. Not trying to brag, just to set the scene. I do think it's a thing wherein sometimes some men will be nasty to women they are attracted to, for whatever reason- perhaps they think that, by our very existence, we are trying to lure them into an affair, or whatever- the "Eve with the apple" phenomenon. It's very sad and pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Immature. Run away.

[Anonymous]

It's called negging done by loser men, and it only works on women with low self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, a lot of (damaged) men will "neg" women. They want to lower her self esteem/put her on the defensive.

I've had this happen. It just perplexed me and I want nothing else to do with them. They seemed puzzled I didn't want any more to do with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely interacted with service personnel (most recently while checking in at a hotel) that will be kind of rude/short with me, all while looking at me with that glimmer in their eyes that I'm old enough to recognize as attraction. FWIW I am a fairly attractive youngish woman, slim, have dated some notable figures, etc. Not trying to brag, just to set the scene. I do think it's a thing wherein sometimes some men will be nasty to women they are attracted to, for whatever reason- perhaps they think that, by our very existence, we are trying to lure them into an affair, or whatever- the "Eve with the apple" phenomenon. It's very sad and pathetic.

Uh huh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely interacted with service personnel (most recently while checking in at a hotel) that will be kind of rude/short with me, all while looking at me with that glimmer in their eyes that I'm old enough to recognize as attraction. FWIW I am a fairly attractive youngish woman, slim, have dated some notable figures, etc. Not trying to brag, just to set the scene. I do think it's a thing wherein sometimes some men will be nasty to women they are attracted to, for whatever reason- perhaps they think that, by our very existence, we are trying to lure them into an affair, or whatever- the "Eve with the apple" phenomenon. It's very sad and pathetic.

Uh huh.

I love how no one on DCUM could have ever had a remarkable life or done anything interesting. Anyone who claims they have is apparently lying. Everyone has to be the same level of mediocrity and if you have had any kind of different life experience you're clearly a dirty liar. Makes sense- if you have low self esteem/ inferiority issues

[Anonymous]

Well I'm beautiful and slim and men are usually very nice to me. I don't talk to men though and will only go to women doctors, therapists etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Immature. Run away.

+1 this is like middle school boy behavior. If a grown man is doing this, he's immature, and you want to run far away.

[Anonymous]

They do do this and it is a phenomenon. part of men's brains literally shut down when they interact with a beautiful woman. Men handle this in different ways- healthy men try to become MORE helpful and attentive, in the scant hopes that something may happen. Unhealthy men have accepted that they have zero chance of getting with you and have let their unsatisfied desires for women fester and bubble over into resentment, which they direct towards attractive women as rudeness. Just another form of being a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, a lot of (damaged) men will "neg" women. They want to lower her self esteem/put her on the defensive.

I've had this happen. It just perplexed me and I want nothing else to do with them. They seemed puzzled I didn't want any more to do with them.

When it happens I usually just give them a confused look, 5 full seconds of silence, then an "oh kaaaaay..." and walk away. It's fun when everyone sees their failed attempt!

[Anonymous]

I’ve never heard from men that they get flustered by attractive women and then are rude to them. They may be left speechless and that may seem rude. You can be sure that women can be very rude to attractive women out of jealousy.