Rude or reasonable?
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Anonymous
| Trying to keep this story simple: a random mom acquaintance offered to let me borrow a baby product I was in search of with the only caveat being that if/when she has a second kid she might want it back. (She said in the meantime I was practically doing her a favor getting it out of her garage.) I accepted and said of course—mentally calculating that even if she got pregnant immediately after our convo it would be a minimum of a year before her baby would need it, which would hopefully give us plenty of time to grow out of it. Fast forward 3 weeks later and I get a text that her cousin wants it for her toddler and I need to give it back. So now I’m lying awake annoyed and curious if DCUM agrees this is remarkably rude or if most people see it the way she must (i.e. cousin trumps acquaintance) and think it’s totally reasonable to rescind the offer? |
Anonymous
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Yes, rude, but never a borrower or lender be.
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Anonymous
| Go buy your own. Problem solved. |
Anonymous
| Very rude and unreasonable. If there was a chance it would be recalled like that, she should have informed you of that condition. Tell her she can pick it up. |
Anonymous
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She's rude and should have sticked to her word.
I'd let her know she can pick it up ... and would stop being nice to her. |
Anonymous
| Yeah it’s rude, but this is the type of thing that is not worth you holding onto and keeping you up at night (I say this as someone who has done the same for many small issues and I always regret it). Let it go, let it go.... |
Anonymous
| Rude |
Anonymous
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Yes, it’s rude — BUT as others have already mentioned, you need to let it go. Everyone is social distancing right now anyways, it should be easy to avoid an acquaintance. |
Anonymous
| She was rude. |
Anonymous
| Future tip: don’t borrow. Take hand me downs but the “I might want it back” stuff always ends up getting torn or pooped on or something. |
Anonymous
| Rude. She can come pick it up. She would no longer be in my circle. |
Anonymous
Agree that it was rude, but families are complicated and she might be trying to avoid a fight with someone she has to see all the time for decades to come. I agree with the advice above. It sucks because, in my experience, people usually wait to say this until they are handing you the item and it's awkward to say no at that point. The "buy your own" people are wasteful. Baby stuff is meant to be passed along, you just need to people who are ready to completely let go of it. |
Anonymous
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I'll be the outlier. I think it is a little inconsiderate on her part but not rude. The item belongs to her and you knew there were strings attached. In your mind, is she only allowed to request her item back in the one situation she mentioned (her pregnancy)? What if she moved - tough luck for her since not her only allowed caveat. What if she discovered you smoked in the house or not keeping it clean - oh well she isn't pregnant. A neighbor's house burned down and needed replacement items - she should have thought of that.
Beggars can't be choosers. Yes, family generally trumps acquaintances. It would be more questionable if she was lending it to another mom in playgroup because they were closer friends. It isn't like we are talking about a car or providing someone shelter, something that cannot easily be replaced. I'm betting you are a first time mom. You need to develop thicker skin to navigate the relationships you'll now have as a mother. |
Anonymous
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She knew her cousin had a toddler before she gave it to you.
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Anonymous
But she may not have known her cousin would lose her job and be financially strapped unable to buy it. She may not have known the cousin was borrowing item from a friend who now needed it back. She may not have known the cousin would get divorced and she needed an item for her house since ex has other. She may not have known toddler's physical therapy progressed better than expected and she can now use item. |