Is TTC much harder in late 30s than in mid 30s?

[Anonymous]

Is there a big difference between TTC at 36 and 39? I am 36, but now is not a good time for me to have a child due to being in a particularly difficult part of my career that will be completed in a couple of years. If we can't have our own child, we would probably look into adoption. We would not have a problem with a child from another country or one of a different racial background than we are. Is it harder for older parents to adopt?

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

How long you'll remain fertile will completely depend on your body. For me, I was able to have a child at 36, but when I started trying for another at 38.5 found out that my fertility had totally declined - 2 years later I have not gotten pregnant even though I tried every fertility treatment available. I urge you not to delay trying to get pregnant, as infertility can be incredibly painful. It is easy to say right now, when you're not trying, that you don't care about using your own eggs, but you may not feel that way later when reality hits you that you really can't.

As for adoption, as long as you are both under 45 or so your age shouldn't matter, but be aware that adoption (whether domestic or international) generally takes 2-5 years, can be very difficult and stressful, and costs tens of thousands of dollars, so it is not necessarily an easy road. It is certainly doable, but if you are in a hurry to adopt after spending a few years trying to get pregnant yourself, it can be difficult to wait even longer to have a child.

[Anonymous]

It totally depends on the individual. I got pregnant the first month of trying at age 38. The issue is that there is no way to know in advance if you will have an easy, medium, or difficult time conceiving. If it is truly a horrible time for you, then I definitely wouldn't have a child just out of some theoretical fear that later on you won't be able to conceive. If you could swing it reasonably, though, you might at least consider whether you could manage a child earlier, and proceed accordingly. I wouldn't let people scare you, though.

[Anonymous]

YESSSS! IMO, there is a HUGE difference.

I got pregnant with my first 3:

- first try at age 29
- first try at age 30
- second try at age 33

Started trying for #4 at age 38.5 and am now on my 12th cycle (now am 39.5). I ended up going for fertility testing and all my numbers are great - my FSH is only 6, AFC has always been in the 15-26 range, and I respond great to stimulation drugs. My ONLY issue is my age. Even though I don't have the indicators of diminished ovarian reserve (like high FSH or low AFC), there really is no other explanation given my history. I'm in the 2WW of my 2nd medicated IUI cycle right now and I have to say I'm really not enjoying undergoing fertility treatment.

I would not wait until 39 and then just hope you're lucky. (I didn't want to wait that long but my husband insisted and refused to believe we might have difficulty if we waited, and so now we have the "blame" issue to deal with on top of the fertility issues. It sucks.)

[Anonymous]

OP -- you have to consider the source of information here. This is the tTC forum where many people, myself included, are/have had difficulty getting pregnant...so the opinions are definitely biased. I'd probably do some research on population based studies on the incidence of infertility of a 35/36 year old compared to a 39/40 year old. The percentage of infertiles is greater at 39, but I'm not sure how much greater. There are still a ton of women out there who conceive without difficulty well into their early 40's. It's a risk though because you just don't know if you are going to be one of them.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

there may seem to be a bias on this forum but there is no doubt that fertility declines rapidly after 35.

[Anonymous]

check out this graph
http://www.babycenter.com/0_chart-the-effect-of-age-on-fertility_6155.bc

The main issue with waiting that long is if you have any fertility problems you will be out of runway. Any you may think you are OK with adopting now but are you really?

Just all depends what is more important to you.

I waited from age 32 to 35 and really wish I hadn't. Infertility is a long road, and the longer you wait the more likely you are to have it.

[Anonymous]

i waited till 38 and 40 and got pregnant ruhgt away. it all boils down to personal care and genetics.

[Anonymous]

I started TTC at 27 and wasn't successful until 31 (adoption) with all tests normal for both my DH and me. It's truly a crap shoot, but my DH and I were committed to being parents no matter how long or which path it took. We adopted, had one naturally 3 yrs later, and have since started the process for egg donation.

[Anonymous]

I put off having a baby and waited 4 years after I had gotten married....at age 32...not terribly old.....but if I knew I was going to have infertility issues (had to do medicated IUI cycles), I would have started trying to get knocked up on the honeymoon. Not knowing whether or not the fertility treatments would work, was pretty upsetting......I don't do well with the unknown. I did get pregnant after all......and will not waste anytime in having #2. I would put having your family first before your career.....your career will always be there for you, but your fertility has a limited shelf-life

[Anonymous]

"i waited till 38 and 40 and got pregnant ruhgt away. it all boils down to personal care and genetics. "

I also boils down to luck (something that, in my opinion) a lot of fertile people are reluctant to admit). I started TTC at 31 and now (2.5 yrs later) have 3 failed IVFs under my belt and a dx of unexplained infertility. I am healthy, normal weight, eat well and women on both sides of my family have given birth in their mid to late thirties or early forties. No doctor can explain it...


OP, I'd talk to people who adopted before assuming you'd be happy adopting. It can be a brutal and expensive process.

[Anonymous]

Meant to say "IT also boils down to luck"... argh

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all of the thoughtful replies!

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to chime in and say that I've done both- adopted and had fertility problems. Am also currently pregnant, which was by accident. In my honest opinion, adopting was a much easier and preferred route than fertility treatments. Obviously there are pros and cons to each route to parenthood but for us, fertility treatments would've been almost as expensive as adoption, with no results guaranteed. We were ready to adopt our second child but I got pregnant by accident and with our agency, you can't be pregnant and pursuing adoption simultaneously.

[Anonymous]

also, another thing not mentioned is the increase in the likelihood of genetic issues in your late 30s. it will be at least 11 weeks before you can do any testing at all. believe me, that is a long 11 weeks.