Forum Index
»
Infertility Support and Discussion
Is TTC much harder in late 30s than in mid 30s?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Fertility declines sharply at 37 and it is rare for women after 42 to have successful pregnancies with their own eggs. Many older celebrities use donor eggs.
OP, I think that if you decide to wait you need to really be at peace with the possiblity that you will have waited too long. I'd also do some real boots on the ground research about adoption, costs, waiting times, issues that children may have. |
Anonymous
|
Fertility does decline some after 37, sure, but as some PPs have noted, it is a very individual thing and many, many, many women have no problem whatsoever. I am not the PP who posted earlier about the triplets, but my body must be similar to hers. Got pregnant the second time trying at age 34, got pregnant the first time trying at age 37, and got pregnant the first time trying at age 39. No, I am not exaggerating. Additionally, I'm not really sure why so many women are so quick to dismiss out of hand the study referred to earlier. Just because a scientific study doesn't happen to jive with what you personally feel is "the way things are" doesn't mean the study is wrong. If you believe the study is wrong, on what scientific evidence are you basing that on? (non-anecdotal evidence, that is; simply knowing some people who had trouble getting pregnant is anecdotal and is basically meaningless, statistically.)
It is simply untrue that fertility will be an issue for many women after 37. The real issue for OP to consider, as other PPs have noted, is that one can't know in advance whether she will be on the wrong side of the odds. So OP, you have to decide if you are willing to gamble on that or not, based on your current circumstances. But at least have a real sense of the gambling odds and don't be cowed by people out there who had trouble conceiving themselves and so are now certain that everyone else will too--it just ain't necessarily so. I agree that in considering your tolerance for risk, that you should at least consider your feelings toward adoption, donor eggs, etc., in case you do happen to be on the wrong side of the odds. |
Anonymous
I conceived my son at the age of 42 on the first try and delivered at 43. However, I had 3 m/c before the successful pregnancy, but always got pregnant on the first try. I guess I'm one who beat the odds but...I still believe gentics play an important part in fertility. My mom went through menopause at 58. I conceived naturally, but was consulting with an RE, and was told 98% of my eggs were most likely bad, given my age. I was pregnant 3 weeks after the consultation. I firmly believe genetics had a huge part of my success. |
Anonymous
| PP here. I know plenty of women who were successful getting pregnant with their own eggs over the age of 40. I also know women who have had to use donor eggs. |
Anonymous
But then there's the case like mine- My mom got pregnant with me at age 36 the first time she had unprotected sex and was pregnant with my brother when I was 4 months old--we're 13 months apart (I only know these details because I was curious after TTC without luck for a year). She went into menopause at age 55 or 56. My grandmother conceived 2 children after age 40. I on the other hand have unexplained diminished ovarian reserve and had to do IVF several times at ages 31 and 34 for my 2 pregnancies. Prior to TTC I had no reason to believe I'd have trouble conceiving (had textbook regular cycles, etc). And for what it's worth, I've always lived a much healthier lifestyle than my mother did at my age. So much for genetics in my case. You just really never know what fertility cards you will be dealt. |
Anonymous
The statistics bear out the exact opposite. It IS true that fertility WILL be an issue for many women after age 37 (women for whom it wasn't an issue at an earlier age). I think what you mean to say is that there are some women who will not experience fertility issues after age 37. But it's more likely than not that fertility will decline with age for any given woman. Doesn't mean definitely, but the odds are that it will. You may beat those odds with genetics, good health, or random good luck. But I don't understand why some people feel the need to keep insisting that we're as fertile at 40 as we were at 25. |
Anonymous
Hi, I'm the poster who posted the quote above. Let me clarify, in case it wasn't clear what I meant: I didn't mean that we are just as fertile at 40 as at 25; of course we're not! But I didn't say that. What I said was that it isn't true that fertility will "be an issue" for many women after 37. What I meant by "not being an issue" was that a woman would still be able to conceive naturally, without intervention, even if it might take longer than it otherwise would at a younger age (even, in some cases, up to a year). |
Anonymous
|
This is a difficult decision that you are facing- I wish you the best in coming to a decision that will make you and your husband happy. I to the two options that you mentioned- maybe none is ideal, but I think it is worth considering all of your options- here are some that occur to me:
(1) You start trying for a baby now (at 36) and get pregnant immediately (2) You start trying for a baby at 39, or else start the adoption process then, and/or accept that you could still have a baby but it might require IVF and donor eggs (3) You could start the adoption process now, and see what happens (how much time/money/commitment would this take?) (4) You could freeze embryos now (would cost about $12k, and the odds may be less than one-third... but you'd have to compare this to your odds of conceiving naturally or through IVF at 39 or later, and more importantly, how you would feel if various outcomes were to occur.) (5) You could go off BC now (at 36) and figure that whatever happens, happens. (If you got pregnant, would it be a blessing? Would this option at least permit you to feel you'd done all you could? Could you continue with your career and maybe have a child in a good childcare, and be happy with that outcome.) I'm coming at this from a different perspective- in an all-of-a-sudden, completely random development, I learned at age 26 that I had an extremely, extremely rare, serious medical condition completely unrelated to reproduction, but which required systemic therapy, with the strong probability that I'd go on to live a regular-length life, but a moderate possibility that I could lose fertility. I had to scramble to freeze embryos with my husband, but was also forced to accept that while I may still be able to get pregnant naturally, or conceive from my own frozen embryos, I may also have to accept the possibility that I'd have to pursue motherhood through adoption (actually- it happens that I've always dreamed of adopting regardless) or donor egg IVF. Frankly, at first I was devastated at the possible outcome of losing my ability to have a biological child- but I now know that I'd be perfectly, perfectly happy being a mother through adoption (which we plan to do anyways- thank god, it appears most likely that I'll go on to live a normal lifespan) or by having a baby through donor egg IVF. And my husband feels the exact same way. Anyways- you've heard a lot of anecdotal stories regarding conception in your late 30s, but there is no way of knowing whether or not you'd be able to conceive at any given age. Ultimately, it all comes down to you- how would you feel if different outcomes in this scenario were to come to pass? I empathize with you too, about the career- you don't say which field you are in, but my husband and I have been there- er, we continue to be there(!) Best of luck with this difficult decision- and with motherhood whenever it happens for you! 
|
Anonymous
| The previous post was just beautiful, thorough and sensitive. I don't have a perspective like that. I think this is a hard question and admire you OP for putting it out there. There's so much you don't know and can't predict. I was ready to TTC w/ my fiance and then we broke up. Turned out he really wanted kids w/ someone else. Another married friend and her DH waited (variety of reasons) and got pg right away. Divorced a year later: he didn't want kids at all and thought waiting would convince her they didn't need them. I didn't wait when I finally met my wonderful DH and it wasn't until we went to a RE that he understood how seriously the age factor is considered; we did conceive naturally. I guess, such as it is, my only advice is to think of worst case: what if you wait and for whatever reason, don't get to be a mom? Or if you are determined to be a mom (like me), but waiting and then becoming a mom is a horrible journey (adoption and IVF are never fun) that you resent your career? FWIW, I love my baby and my job, but it tears me in two each day to go to work. I waited so long for this LO that I cry every day going to a job I love, pays me well, and I'm good at. |
Anonymous
|
"I don't find it "absolutely ridiculous" to believe at all. It is a scientific study with actual results. I agree that the fertility rate for 43-45 year-olds will be much less, but the study DID group 40-year-olds in with them. I think it is perfectly reasonable to think that a relatively high percentage of 40-year-olds with no known fertility problems would conceive within 12 cycles. "
Well, then I guess you're pretty ignorant about the many, many many studies out there that contradict your wonderful study and do in fact find that fertility is pretty diminished for ALL women over 40, and really diminished for those over 43, regardless of whether they are being treated for infertility. But go ahead, believe the one study that says what you want to hear - that's reasonable. |
Anonymous
Here is just one quote from a random Google search (bold mine): Increasingly, many women are delaying childbirth until well into their thirties. Women who are trying to conceive beyond the peak reproductive years of their twenties, however, are often very concerned about their conception chances. While it is true that fertility rates decline with age across virtually all human populations (Wood 1989; 102; O’Connor et al 1998; 127) and the time to conception is generally longer for women who are past their mid-twenties, (Dunson et al 2002) the chances of conceiving within a year or two are fairly good for women in their late thirties, especially when intercourse is timed well in the fertile period. The cumulative conception rate for women aged 35-39 is 60% after one year of trying and 85% at two years (Taylor 2003). While this may not sound so promising when you want to have a baby right now, these figures may be higher for women who are able to identify their fertile time and focus intercourse within the fertile window. This above quote comes from studies as well. (Different ones.) If women 35-39 have an overall 85% success rate, why would you find it so difficult to believe that 40-year-olds--again, with no known fertility problems--could have a 52% rate? Willful refusal to accept facts/science is just baffling ot me. Not criticizing, I just honestly don't understand it. I guess it is just too counter-intuitive for some to be able to accept science/facts when their own anecdotal experience is different. That's the only explanation I can think of. |
Anonymous
|
60% odds of getting pregnant after a whole year, don't sound that great to me. After a year of trying at that age they recommend you see an infertility specialist.
According to the link posted on the first page of this post you are twice as likely to experience infertility in your late thirties as early thirties. Also I am sure the miscarriage rates and chances of chromosomal issues are similarly increased. This is an interesting thread though, I wish some of this kind of thing was more discussed in the media. Celebrities seem to be able to have babies whenever they feel like it, and personally I think that gives women a false sense of the realities of fertility. |
Anonymous
That's ONE study..there are more. In contast, what evidence do you have to support your statement that ALL women over 40 have diminished fertility --besides your own experience or those of your girlfriends? |
Anonymous
Can you please provide an example of at least one of these "many, many" studies? |
Anonymous
|
"That's ONE study..there are more. In contast, what evidence do you have to support your statement that ALL women over 40 have diminished fertility --besides your own experience or those of your girlfriends? "
LMAO! You're right, I should rely on random Google searches for my medical information rather than reading randomized studies and books written by M.D.s. |