Couples - are your fitness levels the same?
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Anonymous
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I (DW) am very fit and active. I work out usually 4-5 times a week. It’s how I relieve stress and I like being in shape. My DH would like to work out (used to when he was younger and had more time) but works too many hours and doesn’t normally get more than 2 times (if that) workouts in a week. I have maintained my same weight over the past 12 years together and 3 kids. DH has gained probably 20lbs since we got married. Not a huge turn off but it would be nice if he got into better shape.
Do most partners have similar levels of fitness? My sister is a workout junky and her husband doesn’t work out at all. |
Anonymous
| Yes, in that we aren't that fit and active. We work out about 1-3 times a week. When I think of couples I know who have different fitness levels, it's mostly because one partner is big into working out (Marathoners, Ironmans, Spartans, etc.) and the other doesn't work out at all or very seldom. For the partners who are very fit, it's more a lifestyle that they've discovered and enjoyed. |
Anonymous
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No.
I'm DW and am fit. DH is chubby, handsome, and not working out. It's disappointing because he's not taking care of his health, and I think his mental health and executive function would improve with exercise. |
Anonymous
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No. We used to be closer but I have gained a bunch of weight and DH is in better shape than me at this point. It's a combination of factors - my job is way more hours/stress, he exercises to relieve stress and it's not my preferred mode (actually more stressful to think about ways to work it in, though I feel better after working up a sweat), I had a baby and he didn't, and I've had a series of injuries that kept me from being able to work out in the ways that I used to turn to for weight loss (former triathlete).
I have to figure out a way to work around my injuries and get back to a higher level of fitness, but there's a real disparity at this point. |
Anonymous
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It's ebbed and flowed a bit in our marriage, but I would say we're around the same level of fitness. We have different methods but wind up in similar places. He is kind of a generalist -- he runs, rides a road or stationary bike, and does a little bit of strength training. He works out 4-5 times a week and has been pretty consistent about that for most of his adult life.
I approach it very differently. I've never liked the gym. I used to take lots of classes (yoga, pilates, dance, etc.) but that became harder after we had kids and I couldn't just head to a class after work whenever I felt like it. So now I run, and do yoga videos at home. I am the sort of person who can fall out of the habit for months but then if I workout consistently for a month or so, I get back to a high fitness level pretty fast. The one thing we're both good about is getting lots of incidental exercise and just making choices that keep us active. We don't drive a ton and will walk or ride bikes whenever feasible. When we vacation, we tend to have very active vacations with tons of walking and lots of physical activities. Even though we approach fitness differently, I think having a similar attitude about lifestyle helps us stay in sync, because we both know we need to be at least fit enough to do this stuff we like to do together, like explore foreign cities on foot or go rock climbing when we are out West. |
Anonymous
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I’m In great shape and work out frequently. I’m also a SAHM and can easily make time for it around my other commitments and responsibilities.
My DH is able to provide me with this luxury, and for that I am grateful. Is he in tip top shape? No, but he isn’t overweight, takes reasonably good care of himself, doesn’t eat junk, and fits in a workout here and there. He is a very hard worker and helps a lot around the house and with the children when he is available. Generalization, but I have noticed the men that are in outstanding physical shape tend to not make the greatest long term partners. |
Anonymous
My DH and I are kind of the flipside of you. He works out nearly daily and I am not getting in what I want to, should, or need to. Was somewhat more balanced pre-pandemic. He craves working out more vs. it's a burden for me, hence where we've naturally landed - though both of us know it's important for our mental health. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Both of us have always been extremely fit. We have worked out together since we met 24 years ago. |
Anonymous
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Let’s be clear that before you can even talk about “fitness level” you must first not be FAT. Most previous posters are talking about work out regiments, well if you have gotten FAT then your issue is your diet, not your gym habits.
I’m super fit because I watch my diet (meaning I’ve not gotten FAT) and I work out regularly. My wife has gained tons of weight..... because she eats too many calories. |
Anonymous
| Get a better paying job so your DH has more free time to work out. Problem solved. |
Anonymous
| He’s a fatty and I’m a size zero. |
Anonymous
| Yes — we were both college athletes and have made fitness a priority for ourselves and our kids. We all enjoy sports and the outdoors and that has created strong family bonds. DH and I are in our 50s now and we really see the benefits of staying healthy, both physically and mentally. We’re fortunate to be able to enjoy good health! |
Anonymous
| We're generally around the same fitness level. Kids are healthy and fit, too. We aren't super fit like Instagram fitness bloggers but are definitely what people would call healthy--move a lot and like to walk/hike (DH likes to bike too), healthy weight, no smoking, generally eat pretty healthy/reasonable with some treats. |
Anonymous
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DW and I are both fitness junkies. I get up early and get my workouts in before the kids get up.
She works out when I get home from work |
Anonymous
| I think so but since neither of us has been in a gym for 5 months we’ve both put on weight. We do exercise but not at the same level we did before. |