Couples - are your fitness levels the same?

[Anonymous]

I’m fat but exercise some. DH is thin and doesn’t exercise at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Our relationship started with many fitness related dates. About a year in, I had a number of serious health issues and had to stop exercising regularly. I gained weight. I eventually had surgery for a gyn issue and lost the weight. Then I got gastroparesis and lost too much weight. Then I treated that was diagnosed with three chronic illnesses and gained weight. When we got married, I weighed 165. Then I was hit by a car while exercising and couldn’t exercise much for 18 mos while I dealt with pain and rehab. I gained even more weight. I lost about 13 lbs in 6 months. Then DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been exercising as much as he can to build up his strength and immunity. I’m pretty fat (size 16). We still have sex twice a week. I just feel bad looking in the mirror and being photographed. I also feel anxious that obesity is a corona risk. DH bought me a Fitbit so I guess that’s a gentle nudge. But it was too hot yesterday and raining this morning so now I’ve had two excuses to not go at least walk

We walked in the rain this morning. Quit making excuses.

I am 100% aware that it is a lame excuse. My issue is making the psychological leap to actually doing. In particular, I have a real hang up about exercising outside in the rain because that is how I was hit by the car. I’m not afraid of getting wet. I am afraid of another distracted driver being unable to brake in time. It as something I’ve done some therapy about but I haven’t overcome that mental barrier yet.

I bought a Peleton bike and treadmill so I can workout indoors. The app is like a community and the instructors are inspiring. There’s something for every level of fitness. That said, I run and bike mostly outdoors and only run and bike indoors if it is raining. I acclimated to the heat and go out very early in the morning. It’s nice to have the equipment so I never have an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a bit of a strange situation. My DH runs 5-6x/week. He monitors his steps. He makes sure to stand while he's working from home. He eats salad and vegetables frequently. He's a very healthy guy, I would say. Despite this, he still has what most people would call "flab" on his chest and midsection. He isn't "ripped", if that's the crux of this.

I am naturally thin. My mom was thin, and despite having 4 children, I'm still in 00 pants. I don't work out ever. I don't run. I eat poorly... lots of sweets and fatty things. I am a sucker for fast food. I wish I wasn't. Despite this, I look like I am in better shape than my DH.

This was me up until a couple of months ago. BMI under 18, but did not exercise at all and ate junk food constantly (candy, ice cream, cake). Husband was fitter, rode bikes regularly, and some strength training. Then I accidentally (true story—hit the confirm button when I meant to think about it) bought a Peleton and got totally hooked on the classes (biking, running, strength, yoga). Now I exercise 1.5-2 hours a day or more—every day. I joined a Facebook group and love the virtual community. DH and I are both active apart from working out. We’re both at our lowest weights in years and we’re around 50-years-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a bit of a strange situation. My DH runs 5-6x/week. He monitors his steps. He makes sure to stand while he's working from home. He eats salad and vegetables frequently. He's a very healthy guy, I would say. Despite this, he still has what most people would call "flab" on his chest and midsection. He isn't "ripped", if that's the crux of this.

I am naturally thin. My mom was thin, and despite having 4 children, I'm still in 00 pants. I don't work out ever. I don't run. I eat poorly... lots of sweets and fatty things. I am a sucker for fast food. I wish I wasn't. Despite this, I look like I am in better shape than my DH.

+1. But I wasn’t brave enough to post it...

The solution is simple. DHs have to incorporate strength training. It doesn't have to be weights (although dumbells and barbells are the most efficient and effective for strength training). Push-ups, chin-ups, a suspenion trainer (e.g. TRX) can work as well. The muscles need to be worked, and what is more, should be worked. They only fade with age, but if you work them, they respond. If DH is already conscientious about exercising, he will see rapid progress with strength training.

The same goes for DWs. Strength training does amazing things for women, too.

[Anonymous]

DH here. My wife is in really good shape. Arms, legs, abs, bubble booty. She’s always had the body of a comic book super hero.

I work out and stay very fit but body appearance wise I’d say that I ebb and flow.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are both like, people who can push through physical tasks. It is important to both of us to be physically capable/strong.

Neither of us is a fitness nut but we like to be maintaining a certain level of physical fitness. He mostly likes to jog and do a team sport in the summer, he has felt the pain of COVID cancelling that built in sport time this year for sure.

Since we've been married he's probably gained 10 pounds and I've lost 10 pounds but when we got married I was probably 50/60 pounds heavier than he was.

I am super tempted by the pelaton as I love spin but it is so expensive.

So I think that while I weigh more than DH and he is definitely like, baseline stronger/faster than I am, we have very similar attitudes about fitness and bodies. We want to stay strong and healthy but the details and weight fluctuations don't matter much. And when life benches us for awhile, no big deal.

[Anonymous]

No! I love walking - I walk about two hours a day - and will do other kinds of exercise, too, especially outdoors.

My husband is an indoor kid. He considers it a big lift to take a ten minute walk. He is morbidly obese. He grew up in a family that didn't prioritize eating well or exercise, and it's not something he developed as he got older.

I love the guy - I do wish that he'd take better care of himself (and no, there's nothing I can do to force him) and I wish this were something we could do together. I'd love to be one of those couples that walked the dog together every night, and went hiking on the weekends.

Anyway: No, we are not similar fitness levels.