Does anyone never/rarely clean their house?

[Anonymous]

You can claim that you have no mental health issues, but your environment DOES have an effect on you. Even if you are super laid back, there is an impact.

[Anonymous]

Ok, no cleaning AND no cleaners? I mean, you won't die or anything, but obviously what "happens" is that your house will become very dirty and gross. I lived in a couple of places in college/grad school where the common areas were rarely cleaned - and yeah, they were dirty and gross. I just ended up using them rarely or carefully (mostly ate out/ate things that needed little or no prep bc gross kitchen counters/sink, wore flip flops to shower bc scummy shower, etc.).

I love having a clean house and I wish mine were better, but with two little boys and a "laid back" husband it's something I've mostly had to give up for now. I straighten up every few days and address anything really glaring (e.g. pee on the floor), and a cleaner comes every other week and does vacuuming, scrubbing, changes sheets, etc. She is the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can claim that you have no mental health issues, but your environment DOES have an effect on you. Even if you are super laid back, there is an impact.

Yes, basic cleanliness is a part of mental health. In the same way that refusing to shower or brush your teeth is a sign of mental health issues, so is the refusal to clean your home or a willingness to live in squalor. It's not just that it's an indicator of executive functioning, but also that it demonstrates a certain level of buy in to social structures. No one is saying your house needs to be spotless or that you should clean daily. But a refusal to acknowledge a baseline requirement of cleanliness is an anti-social behavior. It could definitely impact your kids while they are young, as well, since it may inhibit their willingness to have friends over or cause them to feel shame or embarrassment about their home or family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can claim that you have no mental health issues, but your environment DOES have an effect on you. Even if you are super laid back, there is an impact.

Yes, basic cleanliness is a part of mental health. In the same way that refusing to shower or brush your teeth is a sign of mental health issues, so is the refusal to clean your home or a willingness to live in squalor. It's not just that it's an indicator of executive functioning, but also that it demonstrates a certain level of buy in to social structures. No one is saying your house needs to be spotless or that you should clean daily. But a refusal to acknowledge a baseline requirement of cleanliness is an anti-social behavior. It could definitely impact your kids while they are young, as well, since it may inhibit their willingness to have friends over or cause them to feel shame or embarrassment about their home or family.

As a kid my family home was a mess and it was so embarrassing and even as a young adult I hated bringing people there. It has definitely had an impact on me now. I am way over the top about visitors and even if my house is 70% clean I suffer from so much anxiety before they come that it makes my DH miserable. I’ve been following this thread and have to thank the OP for making it because it has pushed me in to deep cleaning my house today and committing to deep clean for at least an hour a week. Today I went crazy on windows and baseboards and vacuuming upholstery. I even took the mudroom rug out and sprayed it down, next up is my trash can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can claim that you have no mental health issues, but your environment DOES have an effect on you. Even if you are super laid back, there is an impact.

Yes, basic cleanliness is a part of mental health. In the same way that refusing to shower or brush your teeth is a sign of mental health issues, so is the refusal to clean your home or a willingness to live in squalor. It's not just that it's an indicator of executive functioning, but also that it demonstrates a certain level of buy in to social structures. No one is saying your house needs to be spotless or that you should clean daily. But a refusal to acknowledge a baseline requirement of cleanliness is an anti-social behavior. It could definitely impact your kids while they are young, as well, since it may inhibit their willingness to have friends over or cause them to feel shame or embarrassment about their home or family.

As a kid my family home was a mess and it was so embarrassing and even as a young adult I hated bringing people there. It has definitely had an impact on me now. I am way over the top about visitors and even if my house is 70% clean I suffer from so much anxiety before they come that it makes my DH miserable. I’ve been following this thread and have to thank the OP for making it because it has pushed me in to deep cleaning my house today and committing to deep clean for at least an hour a week. Today I went crazy on windows and baseboards and vacuuming upholstery. I even took the mudroom rug out and sprayed it down, next up is my trash can.

Oh and I think I should add that I clean every day anyway. But this thread….lit a fire under me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It still amazes me that so many people hire housecleaners even if its just every other week. We never hired one growing up and mom did work full time (as well as my dad). None of my friends' parents hired cleaners growing up. We were solidly middle class. I don't have many friends now, but none hire cleaners (that I know of). My parents did end up hiring cleaners for a few years as empty nesters. My mom tried to talk to me into it. I know it makes sense and we can afford it. But I can't pull the trigger.

Part of the reason I don't hire a cleaner is because the house is a mess and dirty (which is ironic). We do comprehensive cleaning whenever guests are coming over which is maybe 2x a year now. I'll sweep the high traffic areas (including the kitchen) maybe 1x a week. (We don't have pets anymore.) I clean the bathrooms I use when they start to bother me and the main floor bathroom a little more often. I'll do a more complete clean of the kitchen maybe 1x a month. Randomly I may get inspired to sort-of deep clean another room like 1x a month.

So what the result/impact of this? The resentment I feel at having to be the one to do 95% of the cleaning. Otherwise no cleaning would ever get done. Not wanting to have people over because the house is too messy. I never really encourage my kids to invite other kids over to our house. I'll sometimes put off having repair people come over because I don't want them to see the messy house. I do think it can affect your mental state. After we've had people over and the house is still clean, its a nice feeling.

So maybe this year I'll aim to get the house clean enough to actually hire cleaners.

I am a SAHM with teens. DH and I grew up with servants in another country. For the longest time, when we moved to the US, we were not able to afford cleaners, and since we were living in an apartment with no kids, we did not need a cleaner. After kids and with dual careers, cleaners made sense.

Once I quit working, it made even more sense to continue with the cleaners, because - we had moved to a SFH that was larger than our apartment, we had two kids by then, I was older and did not have the energy/bandwidth to clean, I did not want to resent being at home and taking on cleaning chores, and our HHI had grown exponentially.

We try and hit the following 5 chores every day - making beds, taking out trash, doing dishes, doing laundry and sorting out paperwork. This is the bare minimum and for is it basically helps to keep the house running even when things are super busy. This is all very ingrained in us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's no way this could be true. All kidding aside, I feel like this is a sign of some underlying mental health issues. It's not healthy for you to be living like this mentally or physically.

Oh I assure you it's true. And there are no mental health issues unless you count being really, really lazy. Physical health-wise, I would be shocked if we weren't riddled with toxoplasmosis but other than that we're good to go.

I think it's pretty funny you don't think this could be true, you need to get out more! It probably doesn't happen in your socioeconomic bubble much, (hell it certainly doesn't happen in our socioeconomic bubble much) but it's definitely not uncommon for working and lower middle class families. Not to say there aren't plenty of middle and working class families who have spotless homes, but I spent years delivering pizzas to all kinds of families and a decent percentage of them were not far off from being featured on an episode of Hoarders.

This is really unfair to your cat(s). Cats will hold their pee if they don't have a clean place to go or start eliminating outside the box and it can damage their kidneys, cause UTIs, among other issues. If you can't scoop a litter box once a day, don't have cats.

They've got 5 litter boxes, nearly one in every room of the house. They have their preferences but move on to the others in order as their favorites fill up. When the last one starts getting full, I change them all. I may be lazy but I'm not cruel.

You have a litter box in every room of the house? No wonder you don’t care about the other filth. It’s drowned out by the smell of cat pee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. I'm more than happy to shock and horrify you all with the sordid tales you came here for. We're grown-ass adults in our mid 30s and we both hate cleaning so we just...don't.

We'll clean if company is coming over (which always becomes an all day affair since everything is so filthy) but other than that really the only "cleaning" we do is picking up empty cans/bottles and taking out the trash. Dishes only get done when the sink gets completely full, our dining room table is basically just a pile of mail. Our living/dining area has plastic shopping bag tumbleweeds drifting around constantly and is littered with opened Amazon boxes.

Litter boxes get emptied once every two weeks or so. The one in the living room is quite ripe right now. Nothing has ever been dusted. I just ran my finger over the air conditioning return vent and wiped off about a quarter inch or dirt and lint and grime. You can write messages in the grease coating the over-the-stove microwave.

There's a potted plant in the corner of my living room that's been dead for three years now. Speaking of corners, every corner has a pile of cat and dog hair accumulated.

The basement has about 15 dried hairballs on the floor, thank goodness it's tile and will wash off if we ever get around to it. The dryer has a pile of lint trap extractions on top of it about the size of a science fair volcano. Our sectional is gray but one section is brown, because that's the dog's spot and he sheds like crazy.

And don't even get me started on the bathrooms. The toilets are caked in sloppy mud pie. the shower curtains are completely covered in mildew. you can't even see the trash can because it's completely encased in a mountain of tissues and boxes and TP rolls.

A little before the start of the pandemic, I hired some cleaners to come by for a "deep clean." I warned them beforehand that it was going to be really, really bad. I guess they didn't believe me, because they quoted 3 hours and 5 hours later they had only finished one floor, and not even to "deep clean" level, just regular clean. The baseboards and cabinets and windows were all still filthy. I felt bad for them so I paid them full price and let them go home.

Why is it that the filthiest people always have cats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's no way this could be true. All kidding aside, I feel like this is a sign of some underlying mental health issues. It's not healthy for you to be living like this mentally or physically.

Oh I assure you it's true. And there are no mental health issues unless you count being really, really lazy. Physical health-wise, I would be shocked if we weren't riddled with toxoplasmosis but other than that we're good to go.

I think it's pretty funny you don't think this could be true, you need to get out more! It probably doesn't happen in your socioeconomic bubble much, (hell it certainly doesn't happen in our socioeconomic bubble much) but it's definitely not uncommon for working and lower middle class families. Not to say there aren't plenty of middle and working class families who have spotless homes, but I spent years delivering pizzas to all kinds of families and a decent percentage of them were not far off from being featured on an episode of Hoarders.

This is really unfair to your cat(s). Cats will hold their pee if they don't have a clean place to go or start eliminating outside the box and it can damage their kidneys, cause UTIs, among other issues. If you can't scoop a litter box once a day, don't have cats.

They've got 5 litter boxes, nearly one in every room of the house. They have their preferences but move on to the others in order as their favorites fill up. When the last one starts getting full, I change them all. I may be lazy but I'm not cruel.

You have a litter box in every room of the house? No wonder you don’t care about the other filth. It’s drowned out by the smell of cat pee.

Don't feed the troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's no way this could be true. All kidding aside, I feel like this is a sign of some underlying mental health issues. It's not healthy for you to be living like this mentally or physically.

Oh I assure you it's true. And there are no mental health issues unless you count being really, really lazy. Physical health-wise, I would be shocked if we weren't riddled with toxoplasmosis but other than that we're good to go.

I think it's pretty funny you don't think this could be true, you need to get out more! It probably doesn't happen in your socioeconomic bubble much, (hell it certainly doesn't happen in our socioeconomic bubble much) but it's definitely not uncommon for working and lower middle class families. Not to say there aren't plenty of middle and working class families who have spotless homes, but I spent years delivering pizzas to all kinds of families and a decent percentage of them were not far off from being featured on an episode of Hoarders.

This is really unfair to your cat(s). Cats will hold their pee if they don't have a clean place to go or start eliminating outside the box and it can damage their kidneys, cause UTIs, among other issues. If you can't scoop a litter box once a day, don't have cats.

They've got 5 litter boxes, nearly one in every room of the house. They have their preferences but move on to the others in order as their favorites fill up. When the last one starts getting full, I change them all. I may be lazy but I'm not cruel.

You have a litter box in every room of the house? No wonder you don’t care about the other filth. It’s drowned out by the smell of cat pee.

Don't feed the troll.

Guarantee pp is a troll, or else I hope so as a cat owner. I clean the litter box at LEAST once a day, usually twice - morning and evening. Wash bed sheets weekly, vacuum every other day, and personally shower at least every day - usually twice in the summer.