Smart, underachieving kid, need merit aid, so frustrated!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tulane will almost certainly defer/waitlist her (yield protection) unless she applies ED, and she can't apply ED if she needs competitive merit. So, Tulane is unlikely.

Would mid-size universities be an option or are LACs the limit? Open to Jesuit schools out west? Loyola Chicago, LMU, Gonzaga etc offer merit. How much is the budget?

My kid applied EA to Tulane with better stats and got 26K merit with acceptance. Was a finalist for the Paul Tulane Award, and they added on another $3k for being a finalist. So $29k merit aid. Was told that the max award in Merit this year was $32k. Even with $29k, price was still far above in state.

DC also got $10k a year merit at Pitt. Increments were $5, $10, $15k. DC had a 34 ACT. Was told in a webinar that the $15k award typically only went to 35-36 ACT.

[Anonymous]

She'll likely get merit aid at Case Western, University of Conn, Vermont, Mt Holyoke, Dickinson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks for all the suggestions! Those are very helpful! Please keep them coming! I'm researching as fast as I can.
DD told me tonight she's only applying to colleges we're certain we can afford. Our budget is about $29K, max, so she needs about $40K in merit aid for most private colleges.
I'll look into the College of New Jersey and Clark, for starters and the schools in Ohio. St. Olaf's sounds great, but it would be a hard sell to get her to go to MN. She's definitely a homebody.
She's frustrating because she could do a lot more with her abilities, but she'd rather watch movies or chat with her friends. Her teachers have told me this, so it's not just me. I guess her attitude is healthy, but I worry the price she'll pay is she'll be unchallenged in college.

She will not get $40k in merit aid anywhere.

Not true, my ds got $38k in merit from College of Wooster and my dd got $40k in merit from St. Lawrence. Both schools were considered safeties but I have to say the kids were so happy with those awards that if they had not gotten into first choice, those would have been strong possibilities.

I second this. I know several teens who recently graduated with 36k+ awards. Wooster gives amazing merit aid and with those award amounts, the total cost comes down to between 30k-35k.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds smart and not underachieving at all.

But also, you may be placing unrealistic expectations on merit aid getting costs down as low as you'd like. My kid had very stats applied to two great safety schools (both listed in this thread). Both gave merit at around 32-35K, if memory serves

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

that’s not “underachieving” - that’s smart and wise. Working yourself to the bone to obtain a marginal advantage isn’t rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not saying this to be snarky, but you need a reality check. Your daughter's SAT score is in the 98th-99th percentile. The average GPA of a high school is a 3.0 and a majority of AP test takers get a 3 or less. She signed up for FIVE AP CLASSES. Your daughter clearly works hard and you should acknowledge that. She is a child. Of course, she just wants to hang out with her friends and doesn't acknowledge the "prestige" of her high school. Either you are a troll or in a massive DCUM bubble.

Yup. Your dismay and disappointment will harm you and your kid. I wish mine were such an underachiever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.

[Anonymous]

My mother constantly labeled me as an underachiever. It was really hurtful because truthfully I was doing my best. Your daughter has great stats and a healthy outlook on life. Don't ruin her, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.

DP. Then same question to OP, she seems to think her DC should have applied herself because in-state tuition is OP's cap on college cost. And that's fine, but why can't mom put in more if she's an achiever and the state school is beneath them? And even if her DD worked twice as hard, they probably would still end up in this position. Top students get merit aid at lower ranked schools, but very few are getting full rides, or even getting enough aid to come close to in-state tuition cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have to agree with most posters that your post is pretty frustrating. With that said, having just gone through the process with my incredibly bright son with pretty severe LDs, so lower stats than yours, got substantial merit aid from Connecticut College. I didn't know much about it before the process, but it sounds like a great school for someone who wants small liberal arts. He will be going somewhere else thanks to legacy status, but just thought I'd suggest she look at Conn College.

This cannot be true.

Conn College is a NESCAC school, and that group of schools does not offer merit aid or sports scholarships.

https://www.conncoll.edu/admission/scholarships-and-grants/

Wow, I had no idea. This is new. Conn College was not offering merit a few years ago. Of course it only cost about $50K when my oldest kid applied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have to agree with most posters that your post is pretty frustrating. With that said, having just gone through the process with my incredibly bright son with pretty severe LDs, so lower stats than yours, got substantial merit aid from Connecticut College. I didn't know much about it before the process, but it sounds like a great school for someone who wants small liberal arts. He will be going somewhere else thanks to legacy status, but just thought I'd suggest she look at Conn College.

This cannot be true.

Conn College is a NESCAC school, and that group of schools does not offer merit aid or sports scholarships.

https://www.conncoll.edu/admission/scholarships-and-grants/

Wow, I had no idea. This is new. Conn College was not offering merit a few years ago. Of course it only cost about $50K when my oldest kid applied.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Here is DD's current list (OK, my list) based on the possibility that DD might get a large merit award from these schools.
Please comment if you think any of these private schools would not offer at least $30K in merit aid (or less at state schools) to a kid with my DDs stats.
TBS, DD is more likely than not to go to our state U. It's so much cheaper than any other option. We have nothing against our state U (my FIL is an alum), but DD wants a small school, so we're doing our best try and give her a choice.
I put together this list based on comments I've read on many threads here, and on College Confidential. Some parents reported their kid with similar stats got very large awards ($35K or more). But I don't know if that kid had extraordinary ECs or was a recruited athlete. DD has neither.
The list will get whittled down to about 10 schools.

Clark
Pitt
Wooster
Davidson
U Richmond
Lafayette
Lottery ticket school (Princeton or Harvard)
George Washington
University of Mary Washington
UMass Amherst
UDel
Kenyon
Oberlin
Muhlenberg
Ursinus
Penn State
Miami of Ohio
University of Vermont
Case Western
Connecticut College
Gettysburg

Hope this is helpful to other parents looking for merit aid.
BTW, merit aid is fickle. Some schools offer it, and then stop, and vice versa. It changes year by year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

For most of these people in this area - I would say yes.

I feel bad for the kids because you're always going to be mediocre when your parents and their neighbors are the scientists who defeated Covid or the first female VP or your home country's ambassador or a deputy Attorney General.

Even the basic parents here have masters degrees or officer ranks or graduated from HYPS.