How much do you think college truly influences the trajectory of someone's life?

[Anonymous]

Going versus not going? A lot. Which school? Far less important.

[Anonymous]

It’s a large country and there are unimpressive midwits all over the nation in c-suites making millions a year with credentials from degree mills. Look up the public Form 990 of a “nonprofit” hospitals, for example. One of my husband’s childhood friends just became CEO of a F500 company in the Midwest with a bachelor’s from a commuter school and an MBA from a state school’s night/weekend program. A lot of companies promote from within - ex. most UPS execs are state school lifers at the company.

[Anonymous]

College is important. Get a 4 yr college degree. It opens many doors. Do whatever you want afterwards. Whether it takes college, or not. Much better to have it, than not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Where do you think this is going to take your kid? Are your friends going to provide an in for them in their industry?

I do wonder if they have really joined the UMC club or if they are still on the outside and not realize it? I know I would NEVER truly fit into that lifestyle, my hardscrabble roots would show too often

Nah, we live outside of the DMV. People aren't all up in arms about how far back your money goes. We wouldn't get the leadership and board positions we do if this was the case. The point is that I'm really not worried about my kids getting into Harvard or a top 50 school. They will likely be just fine if they go to State U or some no name private because they are living with a lot of privilege and connections. I am not saying this to brag, just noting that for most UMC/UC kids it's not going to truly influence the trajectory of their life. Now for a another kid from a less privileged background, it is more likely. I don't quite understand the pressure some people put on their kids to get into a Top 10. Being academically gifted does not always equal career success. Most of the highly successful people I know have different skill sets and very few were at the very top of their class in HS.

[Anonymous]

I used to think college caliber was important but no longer. For 20 years I saw dozens of "hooked" applicants at our children's high schools get into the most selective tier of private colleges (e.g. Ivies, Duke, Georgetown) over more accomplished classmates. Frankly and sadly, the opportunity seemed to be wasted on nearly all of them. Their classmates who were rejected ended up at state universities and non-selective LACs, graduate with highest honors, and have become successful dentists, MDs, lawyers, engineers, tech founders, and corporate executive tracked.

Another thing I've learned is nobody cares if your child attends or graduated from a fancy college if they've accomplished nothing of note since or landed in a non prestigious / low paying career track that is open to anyone. It actually might be more embarrassing as a parent because you know other parents are thinking, "$280,000 on college just to do that?"

[Anonymous]

Huge for me - I met my spouse there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to think college caliber was important but no longer. For 20 years I saw dozens of "hooked" applicants at our children's high schools get into the most selective tier of private colleges (e.g. Ivies, Duke, Georgetown) over more accomplished classmates. Frankly and sadly, the opportunity seemed to be wasted on nearly all of them. Their classmates who were rejected ended up at state universities and non-selective LACs, graduate with highest honors, and have become successful dentists, MDs, lawyers, engineers, tech founders, and corporate executive tracked.

Another thing I've learned is nobody cares if your child attends or graduated from a fancy college if they've accomplished nothing of note since or landed in a non prestigious / low paying career track that is open to anyone. It actually might be more embarrassing as a parent because you know other parents are thinking, "$280,000 on college just to do that?"

This. When you hear a friend or neighbor or sibling's kid gets into an elite college, sure it's a little exciting and I am happy for them, but there's always thing pang of resentment/jealousy especially if your kid was more qualified. Let's face it, who doesn't feel like hooked kids take some of the spots available to their own kids? So for the people obsessed so they can have some prestige or impress others? It's fleeting and doesn't make people like you more.

[Anonymous]

Not nearly as much as appearance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think college caliber was important but no longer. For 20 years I saw dozens of "hooked" applicants at our children's high schools get into the most selective tier of private colleges (e.g. Ivies, Duke, Georgetown) over more accomplished classmates. Frankly and sadly, the opportunity seemed to be wasted on nearly all of them. Their classmates who were rejected ended up at state universities and non-selective LACs, graduate with highest honors, and have become successful dentists, MDs, lawyers, engineers, tech founders, and corporate executive tracked.

Another thing I've learned is nobody cares if your child attends or graduated from a fancy college if they've accomplished nothing of note since or landed in a non prestigious / low paying career track that is open to anyone. It actually might be more embarrassing as a parent because you know other parents are thinking, "$280,000 on college just to do that?"

This. When you hear a friend or neighbor or sibling's kid gets into an elite college, sure it's a little exciting and I am happy for them, but there's always thing pang of resentment/jealousy especially if your kid was more qualified. Let's face it, who doesn't feel like hooked kids take some of the spots available to their own kids? So for the people obsessed so they can have some prestige or impress others? It's fleeting and doesn't make people like you more.

Why do you know the classmates were less accomplished? Probably were not.

[Anonymous]

Can great things happen from small or lower ranked schools? Of course. This is America. Can a motivated kid make it anywhere? Of course. But is also true that top schools have the potential to offer more possible paths to get there. They also may offer a better experience if the student is interested or motivated and takes advantage of what is there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can great things happen from small or lower ranked schools? Of course. This is America. Can a motivated kid make it anywhere? Of course. But is also true that top schools have the potential to offer more possible paths to get there. They also may offer a better experience if the student is interested or motivated and takes advantage of what is there.

I think it's more mixed than that. Being so-so at a top school eliminates you from a lot of opportunities while you are there but being the top at a so-so school gives you a lot more access.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are some top tier jobs that are much more accessible from top schools. Your double state school lawyer friend is far less likely to ever be a Supreme Court Justice, White House counsel or Solicitor General than a dual Harvard / Yale / Stanford graduate. It doesn't mean it's impossible from other schools, just more difficult.

Everything's relative. I went to Stanford Law and I can tell you that there are quite a few SLS grads who complain about how we don't get enough Supreme Court nominations. Cue Prince . . . "Maybe you're just like my mother . . . she's never satisfied."

[Anonymous]

My undergrad did nothing for me besides allow me to enter grad school. My grad school did not let me leave until both my thesis and dissertation were published in peer reviewed journals. I have had no issue finding fulfilling positions ever since. I have a fantastic work/life balance, genuinely enjoy starting my day, and have met so many wonderful people throughout my career.

[Anonymous]

Strivers have so many absurd misconceptions about elite colleges. If you’re mid pack, let alone bottom quartile, at an “elite” you’re not getting any amazing job offers or into any half decent grad school program. You’ll likely be culled, and land at some lame job working with state schoolers. If you ever go to grad school, it won’t be anywhere impressive and your classmates will know you’re an Ivy washout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strivers have so many absurd misconceptions about elite colleges. If you’re mid pack, let alone bottom quartile, at an “elite” you’re not getting any amazing job offers or into any half decent grad school program. You’ll likely be culled, and land at some lame job working with state schoolers. If you ever go to grad school, it won’t be anywhere impressive and your classmates will know you’re an Ivy washout.

Sort of. Mid pack at an elite gets you lots of places. It is connections and option that you just run into if you are open to them. Bottom I agree.