How much do you think college truly influences the trajectory of someone's life?

[Anonymous]

I dunno. There was more than one lib who said she’s brilliant and incredibly well-qualified.?

[Anonymous]

College shapes you in more ways than academically- it can give you confidence, help develop social/communication skills, networking opportunities, independence, and so much more!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College itself does.

Which college you attend, not as much.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answer honestly.

I'm thinking of some of the most fulfilled people I know. One is a restaurateur who didn't go to college. One is a lawyer who went to two state schools and is doing what he loves. Another is an author who went to an "average" school and is wildly successful.

I know this is a stressful time, but the long view helps. What do you think?

I went to a school (Wash. U.) that’s seen as prestigious by some and just OK by some. My cousins all had comfortable middle-income or upper-income parents, and all went to schools ranging from Harvard to University of California schools.

I have friends who’ve gone to all sorts of schools.

I think “higher-ranked schools” tend to be more comfortable and more fun. But I don’t think going to a higher-ranked school makes a big difference in terms of financial outcomes.

I think what distinguishes high-earning kids from lower-earning kids are general intelligence; social graces; parental connections; the ability to play golf and tennis; and the ability to make intelligent comments about baseball, football and basketball games. Excellence at sailing may be able to compensate for general sports illiteracy.

Parents who are obsessed about having high-earning kids should obsess less about SAT prep and more about joining a golf club or signing their kid up for sailing lessons.

All of the non academic life skills are easily mastered and refined at elite colleges. I hope that those are not the accomplishments that make one successful because it will cause many brilliant people to be left behind. It is completely obviously what type of family college students or young professional come from unless they have absorbed unspoken rules. Not knowing what to wear, say, drink or eat is often an unspoken reason for excluding smart people who otherwise would make substantial contributions. They show up green and never get invited back to anything important. People would rather deal with someone who is less bright but polished, in friend groups and in business. Hopefully this will change.

How are a lifetime of non academic life skills mastered in college? I went to an Ivy, studied a hard major, but still wore a freaking GREEN suite to my interviews because I like the color. I didn’t know any better, and growing up most adults I knew dressed up was jeans with a blazers and novelty necktie.

[Anonymous]

As much as any sliding doors moment does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question. My first thought is that among my colleagues at work, who all do exactly the same job, one of us went to a large Midwest state school, one went to a small Jesuit Midwest school, one of us went to a “public Ivy”, and one went to an Ivy League school. So, range of schools, our families have a range of backgrounds, we all studied different things (all liberal arts background) and we all ended up in the same place.

That’s interesting. I work in niche field, with people from all over the country, a few went to prestige colleges, many went to public Ivys, a few to small private colleges that specialize in our niche. But we all grew up fairly poor (like never employed or absent fathers, family members in jail or on welfare, debilitating alcoholism). It’s funny, I think I would have ended up in a similar role with whatever college I went to. The work is very stable and of national importance, so I think the stability appeals to us from chaotic backgrounds. Pay sucks though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Wow, we have none of this so my hard working kids are F’ed I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Wow, we have none of this so my hard working kids are F’ed I guess?

Not at all, PP. This is merely a description of the rarified air some breathe. To use an old adage, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

[Anonymous]

I think attending college opens doors to economic and social opportunities that are inaccessible to those who didn't graduate from college. Thats the reality. It is harder to become successful without a college degree. I also think it is in pointless to bring up anecdotal evidence. My brother dropped out of high school and got a GED. He began working in construction. He is now a partner at large construction firm and makes well-into six figures. However, while that is great and I am proud of him, he is the exception. While he is able to buy a house and send his kid to catholic school, there are 2.3 million walmart employees who are living below the poverty line and struggling to afford rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Where do you think this is going to take your kid? Are your friends going to provide an in for them in their industry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were not raised rich but sort of fell by circumstance into a very UMC group and it's opened my eyes that it's not really about money, it's about the whole picture. I have ZERO concern about where my kid goes to college. I see they can basically go to a state school or unknown private and be just fine because of everything else they are growing up with.

- connections, just in our peer circle we have doctors/surgeons, politicians, a few accomplished actors/musicians, lots of C-level or VP level business, tech entrepreneurs, law partners, professors, authors, engineers at Google/FB, designers.. sky is the limit in terms of getting your foot in the door.. I did NOT have this as a kid at all and see how much easier it makes things especially at the college level or right after.
- Kids golf, play tennis, sail + ski on regular basis through lessons, clinics and camps in addition to other sports
- Kids attend expensive, elite sleepover camps
- family involvement in multiple philanthropies every year on the chair or board level
- kids grow up doing organized charity/debutante roles learning social traditions and manners
- international travel frequently
- 2nd house out west in mountain town
- attend top 20 nationally ranked public HS

Where do you think this is going to take your kid? Are your friends going to provide an in for them in their industry?

I do wonder if they have really joined the UMC club or if they are still on the outside and not realize it? I know I would NEVER truly fit into that lifestyle, my hardscrabble roots would show too often

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many, a college degree provides a floor for employment, standard of living, and security far above the average person without a degree. However, that floor can also make you lazy and risk adverse. In turn, that floor can encourage you to assume responsibilities, like a mortgage and family, that will reinforce risk adversity. Before you know it, many are “trapped” on a comfortable tread mill. Of course, this doesn’t have to be one’s fate, but it is for many. That said, it’s better than wondering where to find your next meal.

I agree with this

[Anonymous]

My parents had an 8th grade education. They started full time work at 14.

I have an MBA and had a corner office making 350k a year and living in a 1.4 million dollar house and have a beach condo and my kids all going to at least college.

All impossible without college and grad school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As much as any sliding doors moment does.

This

[Anonymous]

K-12 schools and friend group matters exponentially more than college. Of course striver parents can’t admit this because they can’t afford the top prep schools, so they fantasize about “T20” universities being some golden ticket for their family. It’s delusional.

I knew quite a few rich prep schoolers who went to tailgate state universities — their campus experience, campus friend group, internships and post college track was nothing like the average state school classmate. Why? Because they were groomed from age 0-18; kids are baked in the cake by the time they get to college.