42-43 too old for a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super old for kids!

??? It’s a few years older than the mean. That’s not exactly “super old” unless you’re from say Texas.

[Anonymous]

The mean age for first time kids is 27. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_maternal_age#Examples

Most people wait 2-3 years for the second. So second at 30-31 is the mean. Then if you want a third, 34-35. Then a fourth, 36-38. So no. It’s not “super old.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old. Enjoy the kids you have. I say this as a 44 year old with two tweens.i feel like I’ve aged ten years in the past year.

I’m 41 with 2 tweens and I agree. They take A LOT of energy right now. I can’t imagine also having a baby/toddler too. Someone would get short changed for sure.

I’m 51 w DC: 21, 19 + 16.

I so appreciate not being an empty nester...yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your youngest?

My youngest is 4. I want to give the youngest a baby sibling.

Your baby is not a pet for your other children. This is a bad reason to have another kid in an overpopulated and sick world. Stop at 3. That's more than enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well if all three of your kids are beautiful, smart and perfect, the odds will say that eventually the dice will roll something else.
Also, before deciding, you might want to review the many threads from women in their late 40s complaining how crappy they feel. At 42, I was like “why do people complain about 40? Age is a state of mind.” At 48, half the time I feel like I am 100. Not sure I could handle a 5 year old....especially while also handling teenagers.

46 with a five year old and I certainly don’t feel 100. On the go all the time and no issue going on adventures, splashing in water parks, riding roller coasters and jumping off boats. Just depends on the person.

With all due respect, what you haven't yet experienced is that there is a much bigger difference in the way you feel at 56 versus 46, as compared to 36 and 46.

Get back to us in 10 years and you'll see what I mean.

And in ten years, I’ll have a 15 year old who who doesn’t require as much physical output from me. Even if he does, my nom is 67 and runs daily, travels the world (not old lady style) has a massive garden she works daily, still shovels her long driveway because she wants the exercise,, goes zip lining and ski diving. If you health holds, you take care of yourself and you lucked upon good genetics you should be just fine at 56. I still feel 30.

[Anonymous]

I say this with no sarcasm, OP - get a dog instead. Don't push your luck.

[Anonymous]

If after 3 kids you still want another, GO FOR IT.

I always thought I'd want 3-4 kids. Then I had 2 and, whoa, I'm totally good with this.

[Anonymous]

First at 43 and second at 49 here. Not too old at all. You'll find there are a lot more older parents than you realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old. Enjoy the kids you have. I say this as a 44 year old with two tweens.i feel like I’ve aged ten years in the past year.

I’m 41 with 2 tweens and I agree. They take A LOT of energy right now. I can’t imagine also having a baby/toddler too. Someone would get short changed for sure.

But you have no idea what that would mean. I would’ve loved less of my moms attention at that age. Also, there is a long life ahead of these kids. My sisters and I and my parents are all still really close at 40-plus. I love having a big family and having them. Sometimes more kids means more love and more fun and the right kind of attention. It’s so individual, personal experiences really have no bearing on it. Is 20 too young to have a baby? For some people, yes indeed. Is 5 too many kids? Not for some people. I mean, these are not rules. In prior generations it was super common to have a right before menopause late baby. Not weird, not strange just a thing. If you want one, have one. We are trying right now for a 3rd at 41 and we have the means, the help, etc. I’m not asking random internet strangers what they think because at the end of the day - who cares?

But OP IS asking random internet strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old. Enjoy the kids you have. I say this as a 44 year old with two tweens.i feel like I’ve aged ten years in the past year.

I’m 41 with 2 tweens and I agree. They take A LOT of energy right now. I can’t imagine also having a baby/toddler too. Someone would get short changed for sure.

But you have no idea what that would mean. I would’ve loved less of my moms attention at that age. Also, there is a long life ahead of these kids. My sisters and I and my parents are all still really close at 40-plus. I love having a big family and having them. Sometimes more kids means more love and more fun and the right kind of attention. It’s so individual, personal experiences really have no bearing on it. Is 20 too young to have a baby? For some people, yes indeed. Is 5 too many kids? Not for some people. I mean, these are not rules. In prior generations it was super common to have a right before menopause late baby. Not weird, not strange just a thing. If you want one, have one. We are trying right now for a 3rd at 41 and we have the means, the help, etc. I’m not asking random internet strangers what they think because at the end of the day - who cares?

But OP IS asking random internet strangers.

I know. I get that. So, when I read things like this, and think I care what these people think, I try to think about what its like to talk to a bunch of random parents at the park for my kids's school pick up. It is pretty apparent pretty quickly even if you really like everyone that you have little to nothing in common with them and could care less what their views are on most things. This is SO much easier in person. For e.g., I was chatting aimlessly about restaurants with such a group the other day. Several loved Ruth's Chris, which, cool, but not for me. Someone suggested a random hole in the wall I have been to and think sucks. They adamantly disagreed, Another one said they weren't "cool" enough to have gone to Le Diplomat. These are all nice people but I work for an industry where I have to eat out a ton and know where to suggest, and so our views and experiences had almost nothing in common. My point is that it is easy in these situations to think that other people's experiences and views have some bearing on your life. They don't. Try a real world experiment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old. Enjoy the kids you have. I say this as a 44 year old with two tweens.i feel like I’ve aged ten years in the past year.

I’m 41 with 2 tweens and I agree. They take A LOT of energy right now. I can’t imagine also having a baby/toddler too. Someone would get short changed for sure.

But you have no idea what that would mean. I would’ve loved less of my moms attention at that age. Also, there is a long life ahead of these kids. My sisters and I and my parents are all still really close at 40-plus. I love having a big family and having them. Sometimes more kids means more love and more fun and the right kind of attention. It’s so individual, personal experiences really have no bearing on it. Is 20 too young to have a baby? For some people, yes indeed. Is 5 too many kids? Not for some people. I mean, these are not rules. In prior generations it was super common to have a right before menopause late baby. Not weird, not strange just a thing. If you want one, have one. We are trying right now for a 3rd at 41 and we have the means, the help, etc. I’m not asking random internet strangers what they think because at the end of the day - who cares?

But OP IS asking random internet strangers.

I know. I get that. So, when I read things like this, and think I care what these people think, I try to think about what its like to talk to a bunch of random parents at the park for my kids's school pick up. It is pretty apparent pretty quickly even if you really like everyone that you have little to nothing in common with them and could care less what their views are on most things. This is SO much easier in person. For e.g., I was chatting aimlessly about restaurants with such a group the other day. Several loved Ruth's Chris, which, cool, but not for me. Someone suggested a random hole in the wall I have been to and think sucks. They adamantly disagreed, Another one said they weren't "cool" enough to have gone to Le Diplomat. These are all nice people but I work for an industry where I have to eat out a ton and know where to suggest, and so our views and experiences had almost nothing in common. My point is that it is easy in these situations to think that other people's experiences and views have some bearing on your life. They don't. Try a real world experiment.

WOW. The only thing this post demonstrated is that you are a tremendous snob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your youngest?

My youngest is 4. I want to give the youngest a baby sibling.

You sound like a child yourself.

[Anonymous]

You can tell someone don’t do it but it’s such a personal decision.
People I know who have 4 kids that they had in their 40s are run ragged. Chances of health issues crop up in mid 50s for many people. It’s different if the kids are in college and you can concentrate on your own health compared with having ES children. Then there’s the mid life parent crisis. Again much easier if the kids are grown up or in college. ES is the sweet spot of parenthood. I wouldn’t want to spoil that period with pregnancy and a toddler. The older kids may be helpful but they may not be also. So my answer would be no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well if all three of your kids are beautiful, smart and perfect, the odds will say that eventually the dice will roll something else.
Also, before deciding, you might want to review the many threads from women in their late 40s complaining how crappy they feel. At 42, I was like “why do people complain about 40? Age is a state of mind.” At 48, half the time I feel like I am 100. Not sure I could handle a 5 year old....especially while also handling teenagers.

46 with a five year old and I certainly don’t feel 100. On the go all the time and no issue going on adventures, splashing in water parks, riding roller coasters and jumping off boats. Just depends on the person.

With all due respect, what you haven't yet experienced is that there is a much bigger difference in the way you feel at 56 versus 46, as compared to 36 and 46.

Get back to us in 10 years and you'll see what I mean.

And in ten years, I’ll have a 15 year old who who doesn’t require as much physical output from me. Even if he does, my nom is 67 and runs daily, travels the world (not old lady style) has a massive garden she works daily, still shovels her long driveway because she wants the exercise,, goes zip lining and ski diving. If you health holds, you take care of yourself and you lucked upon good genetics you should be just fine at 56. I still feel 30.

lol Then you’ve forgotten what 30 was like...

[Anonymous]

All these people with super active old parents were empty nesters in their 40s with a pension. That’s over.