How is your gifted kid doing at a lower-ranked college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she's not on the spectrum. A psychotherapist friend calls her a late bloomer, which may be the case. She's a kid who reads a four-hundred page book in an hour, yet she forgets to study for an English test. I don't know what you call that. Immaturity?

ADHD.

+1000. I would bet thousands of dollars this kid has inattentive ADHD. Impossible to diagnosis or rule out without a full neuropsych (a which includes an IQ test among many other tests). I have 3 kids with inattentive ADHD and the 2 girls present exactly the way OP describes. My 1 kid without ADHD is very smart as well, but also super organized and disciplined about schoolwork. It is night and day. I know you disagree, OP, but I would advise a full neuropsych.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Not everyone has 1, 2, or even 3 kids. Some have more kids, live in a high COL area, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Not everyone has 1, 2, or even 3 kids. Some have more kids, live in a high COL area, etc.

And many people who have that income haven’t earned that for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must be the only one who thinks OP’s kid is insufferable. Everything is stupid and everyone is incompetent is a horrible attitude. Clearly she thinks she’s smarter than everyone. Wouldn’t expect that to change in college.

Me! I think both the DD and mom are insufferable. She doesn't believe in IQ tests but "knows" her daughter is a genius? Being a genius won't cut it - she needs to have the grades, extra-curriculars and attitude to back it up if she wants to be in a top-college with merit aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Not everyone has 1, 2, or even 3 kids. Some have more kids, live in a high COL area, etc.

You’re also forgetting
G taxes. Someone making 250 has 100k going eight out the door in state, federal, income and property taxes. Then you have food, shelter and cars. Then other children linking up or in college. Or elderly parents like we do that we are taking care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a junior, and her only options for college are in-state because of our family's financial situation. She has a 3.88 at a good public high school, one sport, no ECs to speak of. She hates high school with a passion, thinks it's idiotic, all her classes are stupid, hates the administration and its crazy rules and incompetence, etc. She does the work because her friends do it, but she has no enthusiasm for school at all.

She went to CTY at Johns Hopkins for three summers, where she really blossomed. She told me recently those were the happiest weeks of her life. Her CTY teachers said she was "exceptional" and "outstanding."

I'm not bragging, I'm worried. I fear she'll be unhappy and unchallenged in college. We can't afford to send her to a CTY-like top college. If you have a similarly gifted kid who went to a lower-ranked college, how did s/he do? Did your child find a peer group? Were the classes interesting/challenging enough? Any advice most appreciated.

Yikes. My take on this is that she wants to be at a small school where she is coddled and babied. If she hates school and has no enthusiasm for it then she really should think about alternatives. Frankly your report of her attending CTY doesn't ring true. It is more likely she attended some summer programs but without going through the rigorous testing and vetting process because a 3.88 is not a GT grade point average to be proud of. I think you need to look at small schools. She may do better at someplace like one of the Colleges That Change Lives.

What is wrong with you?
“3.88 is not a GT grade point average to be proud of.”

What would ever motivate you to say this? OP posted this out of humility, candor, and what seems to be a fair representation of her daughter....and um MANY teenagers feel the exact same way. If you don’t have helpful advice, why both criticizing her and casting “suspicion” on her post? It seems you need to look inward instead of trying to shame OP, geez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a junior, and her only options for college are in-state because of our family's financial situation. She has a 3.88 at a good public high school, one sport, no ECs to speak of. She hates high school with a passion, thinks it's idiotic, all her classes are stupid, hates the administration and its crazy rules and incompetence, etc. She does the work because her friends do it, but she has no enthusiasm for school at all.

She went to CTY at Johns Hopkins for three summers, where she really blossomed. She told me recently those were the happiest weeks of her life. Her CTY teachers said she was "exceptional" and "outstanding."

I'm not bragging, I'm worried. I fear she'll be unhappy and unchallenged in college. We can't afford to send her to a CTY-like top college. If you have a similarly gifted kid who went to a lower-ranked college, how did s/he do? Did your child find a peer group? Were the classes interesting/challenging enough? Any advice most appreciated.

Yikes. My take on this is that she wants to be at a small school where she is coddled and babied. If she hates school and has no enthusiasm for it then she really should think about alternatives. Frankly your report of her attending CTY doesn't ring true. It is more likely she attended some summer programs but without going through the rigorous testing and vetting process because a 3.88 is not a GT grade point average to be proud of. I think you need to look at small schools. She may do better at someplace like one of the Colleges That Change Lives.

What a bizarre statement. I went to CTY, loved it, and still had a shitty HS GPA. The environments are very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a junior, and her only options for college are in-state because of our family's financial situation. She has a 3.88 at a good public high school, one sport, no ECs to speak of. She hates high school with a passion, thinks it's idiotic, all her classes are stupid, hates the administration and its crazy rules and incompetence, etc. She does the work because her friends do it, but she has no enthusiasm for school at all.

She went to CTY at Johns Hopkins for three summers, where she really blossomed. She told me recently those were the happiest weeks of her life. Her CTY teachers said she was "exceptional" and "outstanding."

I'm not bragging, I'm worried. I fear she'll be unhappy and unchallenged in college. We can't afford to send her to a CTY-like top college. If you have a similarly gifted kid who went to a lower-ranked college, how did s/he do? Did your child find a peer group? Were the classes interesting/challenging enough? Any advice most appreciated.

Yikes. My take on this is that she wants to be at a small school where she is coddled and babied. If she hates school and has no enthusiasm for it then she really should think about alternatives. Frankly your report of her attending CTY doesn't ring true. It is more likely she attended some summer programs but without going through the rigorous testing and vetting process because a 3.88 is not a GT grade point average to be proud of. I think you need to look at small schools. She may do better at someplace like one of the Colleges That Change Lives.

What a bizarre statement. I went to CTY, loved it, and still had a shitty HS GPA. The environments are very different.

+1, from another former CTYer. Plenty of CTY kids hate their unchallenging high school and don't care if they get less than perfect grades.

OP, my CTY friends who went to lower-ranked state universities because of $$ were mostly unhappy, because they felt like they were unfairly denied the opportunity to go to the great schools their CTY friends were going to. I don't understand why you expect your kid to be super motivated to work hard in high school, when your position is that she has to go to a cheap in-state school no matter what. You've already said she can't go to Harvard or similar schools even if she gets in. What's her motivation? I would slack off, too.

And as far as thinking high school is dumb: the only thing that fixed this for me and a couple of my CTY friends was switching to a more challenging private school. All these years later, I still think my public high school WAS dumb. I got a D in my required typing class because I looked at my hands while typing and refused to do endless worksheets of busywork, just typing random assigned sentences like a monkey. And yet, somehow, I have typed this post. All that nonsense and mindless busywork went away in private school. But you're obviously going to say you can't afford private school, either. I feel sorry for your kid. Hopefully she can pick her own grad school and get the education she deserves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Not everyone has 1, 2, or even 3 kids. Some have more kids, live in a high COL area, etc.

You’re also forgetting
G taxes. Someone making 250 has 100k going eight out the door in state, federal, income and property taxes. Then you have food, shelter and cars. Then other children linking up or in college. Or elderly parents like we do that we are taking care of.

Or younger kids in private schools who will also be going to college, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, what kinds of classes is she interested in taking in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your daughter is so very gifted, OP, money will not be a factor in her college decision.

I say this as someone who grew up poor in rural PA. My parents paid almost nothing for me to attend Harvard. I was offered generous aid and full rides to other schools as well.

Maybe you should schedule a meeting with your daughter's college counsellor to go over how this works.

This is not how it works. Harvard gives no money for being gifted. You got money because you were poor. Most top colleges offer no merit aid at all, only need- based aid.

Not to mention the odds of getting into Harvard...OP doesn't qualify for enough financial aid to make a selective SLAC as affordable as an in-state college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Better than she would have at a "higher-ranked" college. She's crushing her classes, doing killer research with her professor, which will turn into a stellar senior thesis. She has great recommendations lined up for grad school and has enjoyed her time immensely at her low-stress, less competative, "lower-ranked" college. Plus, she much prefers the company of the down-to-earth students as opposed to the privileged snobs she'd encounter at a "highr-ranked" school.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Are you that ignorant? Maybe after taxes that income comes down to $150k and you expect a parent to shell out $80k of that for a SLAC? 🤣🤣
Not everyone is able to save aggressively. Enormous health care premiums, the burden of saving for retirement, the cost of housing, medical costs and so on...there have been articles & articles written about this. Many MANY people actually get help from grandparents, but for those of who don’t: we send our kids to public colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Yes our HHI is 270k and our 2 kids are definitely going to in state, that what we have saved for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Yes, but that’s for educational reasons!