I am the squeezed middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College is too damn expensive.

And something's got to give.

When you look at how great an education you can get essentially on your own, or at local community colleges, especially for the first 2 years, and then you look at the cost of many private colleges -- yeah, the education you get there may be better in some ways, but not $40K a year better.

AGREED. Tuition is way out of pace with inflation and the general economy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I get that you $200K earners don't feel filthy rich, and you do feel squeezed. But do recognize that if you are worried about how to pay for private school and retirement at the same time, you have worries that are not typical of the middle class in the US these days. Middle class is just trying to hang on to a job and some kind of health care. "

That is very true. But, it is shocking that people in high earner professions (doctors, lawyers) are stressed about paying for college, when 20 years ago my blue collar worker parents were able to put my sister and I through private colleges with the help of some smallish scholarships and loans covering about 1/4 of the costs. And this is not because people are greedy or not frugal, but rather due to the sharply rising costs of things like health insurance, college tuition, housing, and saving for retirement (which for our parents generation was mostly funded by their employers).

I dislike OP's tone, but I understand the stress.

True that college costs are getting ridiculous, but I also suspect that people generally live more "lavishly" than in the past. I think this applies to all income levels. How many people NEED to have an IPhone and other expensive gadgets? Not many, but many people have them. This is just one example, but I am continually amazed at how many unnecessary things people who claim to not have any money purchase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I get that you $200K earners don't feel filthy rich, and you do feel squeezed. But do recognize that if you are worried about how to pay for private school and retirement at the same time, you have worries that are not typical of the middle class in the US these days. Middle class is just trying to hang on to a job and some kind of health care. "

That is very true. But, it is shocking that people in high earner professions (doctors, lawyers) are stressed about paying for college, when 20 years ago my blue collar worker parents were able to put my sister and I through private colleges with the help of some smallish scholarships and loans covering about 1/4 of the costs. And this is not because people are greedy or not frugal, but rather due to the sharply rising costs of things like health insurance, college tuition, housing, and saving for retirement (which for our parents generation was mostly funded by their employers).

I dislike OP's tone, but I understand the stress.

True that college costs are getting ridiculous, but I also suspect that people generally live more "lavishly" than in the past. I think this applies to all income levels. How many people NEED to have an IPhone and other expensive gadgets? Not many, but many people have them. This is just one example, but I am continually amazed at how many unnecessary things people who claim to not have any money purchase.

I agree with this. I am frequently shccked by what people spend on clothing and makeup, for instance. Our annual HHI is over $400k (I know, I know, it's a lot, don't yell, that is only part of my point). We don't dress our preschool/elementary children in $100 sweaters, (unless I get them at TJ Maxx for $30), and I don't buy $700 shoes. I don't buy $70 lipstick. My DH and I are well dressed, but I buy most of the high end stuff at Loehmann's, on sale, online, etc. Maybe I'm just cheap by nature. But what I want to know is: if you're making $100k a year ( or less), why would you spend hundreds (if not thousands) on clothing?? Isn't that disproportionately expensive? It's not something that will accrue greater value over time, like a house or an investment. I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

I think it's all part of part of our culture which has evolved to one of entitlement. The subprime crisis exmplifies this but it is evident throughout society. I am not immune to this myself as hard as I might. I try not to get caught up in the hype of needing things that really are not NEEDs, but it can be challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, maybe I'm completely off here but DH and I bring home about $120K a year and I consider ourselves middle-class and very lucky.

You each earn about $120K a year, or combined HHI is $120K?

If you mean HHI of $120K I'll agree - you are middle class, though high end.

[Anonymous]

Combined gross HHI is $120K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, maybe I'm completely off here but DH and I bring home about $120K a year and I consider ourselves middle-class and very lucky.

You each earn about $120K a year, or combined HHI is $120K?

If you mean HHI of $120K I'll agree - you are middle class, though high end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I get that you $200K earners don't feel filthy rich, and you do feel squeezed. But do recognize that if you are worried about how to pay for private school and retirement at the same time, you have worries that are not typical of the middle class in the US these days. Middle class is just trying to hang on to a job and some kind of health care. "

That is very true. But, it is shocking that people in high earner professions (doctors, lawyers) are stressed about paying for college, when 20 years ago my blue collar worker parents were able to put my sister and I through private colleges with the help of some smallish scholarships and loans covering about 1/4 of the costs. And this is not because people are greedy or not frugal, but rather due to the sharply rising costs of things like health insurance, college tuition, housing, and saving for retirement (which for our parents generation was mostly funded by their employers).

I dislike OP's tone, but I understand the stress.

True that college costs are getting ridiculous, but I also suspect that people generally live more "lavishly" than in the past. I think this applies to all income levels. How many people NEED to have an IPhone and other expensive gadgets? Not many, but many people have them. This is just one example, but I am continually amazed at how many unnecessary things people who claim to not have any money purchase.

I agree with this. I am frequently shccked by what people spend on clothing and makeup, for instance. Our annual HHI is over $400k (I know, I know, it's a lot, don't yell, that is only part of my point). We don't dress our preschool/elementary children in $100 sweaters, (unless I get them at TJ Maxx for $30), and I don't buy $700 shoes. I don't buy $70 lipstick. My DH and I are well dressed, but I buy most of the high end stuff at Loehmann's, on sale, online, etc. Maybe I'm just cheap by nature. But what I want to know is: if you're making $100k a year ( or less), why would you spend hundreds (if not thousands) on clothing?? Isn't that disproportionately expensive? It's not something that will accrue greater value over time, like a house or an investment. I don't get it.

I agree with this, too. I watch a lot of those real estate shows on HGTV and am always amazed by what buyers (usually first time buyers) expect in a house. Big master suites with full baths and walk in closets, a large kitchen with granite and stainless steel appliances, etc. And among my friends, it seems almost expected that you will at some point upgrade to a large, newer house with 4-5 bedrooms. I know this isn't the case with everyone, but sometimes I end up feeling bad that I "only" have a 3BR 2 bath Cape even though we paid almost $600,000 for it which is unheard of in many other parts of the country. Of course I know I am being ridiculous because we are very fortunate to have all that we have, but it just seems to be the type lifestyle that many people are working for these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I get that you $200K earners don't feel filthy rich, and you do feel squeezed. But do recognize that if you are worried about how to pay for private school and retirement at the same time, you have worries that are not typical of the middle class in the US these days. Middle class is just trying to hang on to a job and some kind of health care. "

That is very true. But, it is shocking that people in high earner professions (doctors, lawyers) are stressed about paying for college, when 20 years ago my blue collar worker parents were able to put my sister and I through private colleges with the help of some smallish scholarships and loans covering about 1/4 of the costs. And this is not because people are greedy or not frugal, but rather due to the sharply rising costs of things like health insurance, college tuition, housing, and saving for retirement (which for our parents generation was mostly funded by their employers).

I dislike OP's tone, but I understand the stress.

True that college costs are getting ridiculous, but I also suspect that people generally live more "lavishly" than in the past. I think this applies to all income levels. How many people NEED to have an IPhone and other expensive gadgets? Not many, but many people have them. This is just one example, but I am continually amazed at how many unnecessary things people who claim to not have any money purchase.

I agree with this. I am frequently shccked by what people spend on clothing and makeup, for instance. Our annual HHI is over $400k (I know, I know, it's a lot, don't yell, that is only part of my point). We don't dress our preschool/elementary children in $100 sweaters, (unless I get them at TJ Maxx for $30), and I don't buy $700 shoes. I don't buy $70 lipstick. My DH and I are well dressed, but I buy most of the high end stuff at Loehmann's, on sale, online, etc. Maybe I'm just cheap by nature. But what I want to know is: if you're making $100k a year ( or less), why would you spend hundreds (if not thousands) on clothing?? Isn't that disproportionately expensive? It's not something that will accrue greater value over time, like a house or an investment. I don't get it.

Just wondering why you assume others are not bargain hunting too? Our HHI is about the same as yours and, on the face of it, I dress myself and my children quite expensively. However, like you, I ALWAYS buy in the sale/Loehmanns/Marshalls etc. My daughter may be in a $100 sweater but I certainly did not pay $100 for it. I delight in bargains but I know that people think I spend alot of $$ on clothes. By the way, Loehmanns is not always that cheap.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering why you assume others are not bargain hunting too? Our HHI is about the same as yours and, on the face of it, I dress myself and my children quite expensively. However, like you, I ALWAYS buy in the sale/Loehmanns/Marshalls etc. My daughter may be in a $100 sweater but I certainly did not pay $100 for it. I delight in bargains but I know that people think I spend alot of $$ on clothes. By the way, Loehmanns is not always that cheap.

I'm sure others are bargain hunting, but clearly some peopl eout there are paying full price. That's the point.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I start ot get the "I don't have enough" feeling, I nip it in the bud by remembering when I was growing up and I lived in a home where the bills were not paid and there wasn't always food in the fridge. It's really all a matter of perspective. If you feel like you don't have enough to get by on, then you will find a way to make that a reality. On the other hand, if you are thankful for the abundance in your life, then you won't be distracted by the nagging feelings of "lacking".

[Anonymous]

Wow. If you are middle class what does that make me? We have a household income of @100K. I guess I'm the new poverty.

Sweetheart, you aren't middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I get that you $200K earners don't feel filthy rich, and you do feel squeezed. But do recognize that if you are worried about how to pay for private school and retirement at the same time, you have worries that are not typical of the middle class in the US these days. Middle class is just trying to hang on to a job and some kind of health care. "

That is very true. But, it is shocking that people in high earner professions (doctors, lawyers) are stressed about paying for college, when 20 years ago my blue collar worker parents were able to put my sister and I through private colleges with the help of some smallish scholarships and loans covering about 1/4 of the costs. And this is not because people are greedy or not frugal, but rather due to the sharply rising costs of things like health insurance, college tuition, housing, and saving for retirement (which for our parents generation was mostly funded by their employers).

I dislike OP's tone, but I understand the stress.

True that college costs are getting ridiculous, but I also suspect that people generally live more "lavishly" than in the past. I think this applies to all income levels. How many people NEED to have an IPhone and other expensive gadgets? Not many, but many people have them. This is just one example, but I am continually amazed at how many unnecessary things people who claim to not have any money purchase.

I agree with this. I am frequently shccked by what people spend on clothing and makeup, for instance. Our annual HHI is over $400k (I know, I know, it's a lot, don't yell, that is only part of my point). We don't dress our preschool/elementary children in $100 sweaters, (unless I get them at TJ Maxx for $30), and I don't buy $700 shoes. I don't buy $70 lipstick. My DH and I are well dressed, but I buy most of the high end stuff at Loehmann's, on sale, online, etc. Maybe I'm just cheap by nature. But what I want to know is: if you're making $100k a year ( or less), why would you spend hundreds (if not thousands) on clothing?? Isn't that disproportionately expensive? It's not something that will accrue greater value over time, like a house or an investment. I don't get it.

Just wondering why you assume others are not bargain hunting too? Our HHI is about the same as yours and, on the face of it, I dress myself and my children quite expensively. However, like you, I ALWAYS buy in the sale/Loehmanns/Marshalls etc. My daughter may be in a $100 sweater but I certainly did not pay $100 for it. I delight in bargains but I know that people think I spend alot of $$ on clothes. By the way, Loehmanns is not always that cheap.

I'm not assuming others aren't bargain hunting, I was obviously talking specifically about people who are not bargain hunting. If I thought nobody else bargain hunted, I'd have to wonder why some places like Loehmann's are always so crowded, now wouldn't I?

[Anonymous]

I switched fields because constantly working long hours, plus weekends, plus increasing business travel, were making me miserable, in addition to not being conducive to the sort of family life I wanted to have. I think you have to really love your job to make a very demanding career worth it, and I didn't love mine. Not only do I enjoy the work I'm doing more now, but I rarely need to work late, and I never have to work on weekends. My husband works for the government - his job isn't one where work can come home with him, so he also rarely stays late and I think he's brought work home with him maybe five times in the last five years.

We are fortunate enough to be pretty comfortable financially. Would it make life easier if we made more money? Sure. But if that means coming at the expense of the time we have together as a family, then that's just not worth it for us.

If need-based financial aid isn't an option for your kids, what about merit-based aid? There are tons of scholarships out there, and I know that many private colleges and universities have programs (at my school, it was the presidential scholars) that reward students without regard to family income. I was lucky enough to have my parents' help with my undergrad degree, but I paid for my graduate degree myself, largely via tuition remission as an employee of the school. The point is, there are lots of ways beyond need-based aid and parent contributions to fund a college education.

OP, you don't sound very happy with the choices you've made - and a job in which you feel pressured not to take sick days when you need them (since you mention your brother taking sick days) sounds like a very unhealthy environment to be in.

[Anonymous]

People are making an awful lot of assumptions on here about what people are or not doing. We are in the $200K/year range and we are squeezed. You saying "we are not middle class" does not change our reality.

We don't dress our DD in $100 sweaters (target or hand me down from friends, usually). We don't have a 4 BR/3 Bath house (not even close). We have one used, paid off car and one new (our prev ones were prev driven for over 10 years). We will not be sending DD to private school bc even if inclined to do so, we could not afford it. I am hoping we can afford to pay for college, but that is not certain. The "designer" clothes . . . if you can call J.Crew designer . . . we wear are often from the outlets. And, we do a lot of Old Navy/Gap.

I'm not sure why some of you are demonizing people who feel they are middle class in this area. Bitterness? Jealousy? WHat is it? Where I grew up, yep, we'd be rich. Here, not so much. A dollar just does not go as far here. We are not poor or anywhere close to it. But, we are not by any means rich.

[Anonymous]

I am a PP in your income bracket. I completely agree that in many other places you would able to live a lifestyle that would be considered "rich" but not here. But, I still maintain that despite all the things you do to live frugually you still have more than most people (even in DC) and can't complain about having to live on $200k. Yes, you can not live in a palatial mansion, send your kids to private school and take lavish vacations on this income, but you still have a high HHI and if you consider yourself "squeezed" than you are doing something wrong.