Does anyone have a healthy sex life with their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

Are you implying that only fit and toned people can have healthy sex lives? I bet you $1,000 he’s cheating on you anyways...

I would take that bet. Veeeeery few married guys having sex with wife multiples per week also cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

Are you implying that only fit and toned people can have healthy sex lives? I bet you $1,000 he’s cheating on you anyways...

I would take that bet. Veeeeery few married guys having sex with wife multiples per week also cheat.

Sigh. Mine did and we had a very healthy adventurous sex life. Both very fit and toned. Ironically OW...not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oops I hit publish too soon. I don't think women should force themselves to have sex with their husbands when they don't want to, but figuring out how to be a fun and flirty and active participant in the relationship is on both partner's shoulders. You should be caring for the other person too, but also trying to make sure you are present and engaged in loving them.

The people I know who aren't having sex also aren't dating, aren't casually hugging each other, they don't seem INTO each other so to speak. Even when I'm not engaged in like, sex or foreplay with my husband, we are very physically affectionate and loving to one another. Sex is a symptom of where your relationship is otherwise, not the cause, at least IMHO

Totally agree with your last paragraph here. I would describe my spouse’s and my relationship the same way and we’ve been married more than 30 years. We really like each other and enjoy being together. We’ve had good times and bad times but underlying everything we have always loved each other very much and cared about the other person beyond just the bedroom.

Sex is important, but it isn’t everything, and each person needs to feel truly loved and cared for by the other for the sexual relationship to be strong.

[Anonymous]

I would assume most happily married people are. Isn’t that part of the deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

Are you implying that only fit and toned people can have healthy sex lives? I bet you $1,000 he’s cheating on you anyways...

I would take that bet. Veeeeery few married guys having sex with wife multiples per week also cheat.

Sigh. Mine did and we had a very healthy adventurous sex life. Both very fit and toned. Ironically OW...not so much.

For most men, different always trumps hot (fit and toned).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married 22 years:
We used to have a wonderful sex life, we did it every other day for years with the normal lull after childbirths, we we’re down to two or three times a week but then Covid came and we are lucky if it’s three times a month.
My periods have become slightly erratic and I am worried that the end is drawing near.

What “end”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would assume most happily married people are. Isn’t that part of the deal?

Oh young Jedi, you have so much to learn.

I thought that too as a newlywed in my 20s, when you get to your 40s, sex will flicker as a memory of what young people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would assume most happily married people are. Isn’t that part of the deal?

Oh young Jedi, you have so much to learn.

I thought that too as a newlywed in my 20s, when you get to your 40s, sex will flicker as a memory of what young people do.

Only if you allow this to happen. I prioritize an active sex life, and so I have ... an active sex life.

[Anonymous]

In general, most couples are sexually happy with their spouse before kids, some keep it going post-kids, and by your mid-40s to 50s, few couples have a healthy sex life still. So the responses here are meaningless unless they specify age and whether they are on their first marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

Are you implying that only fit and toned people can have healthy sex lives? I bet you $1,000 he’s cheating on you anyways...

Triggered much? It was a statement of fact that you read into. Lol at the bet though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

Are you implying that only fit and toned people can have healthy sex lives? I bet you $1,000 he’s cheating on you anyways...

I would take that bet. Veeeeery few married guys having sex with wife multiples per week also cheat.

Sigh. Mine did and we had a very healthy adventurous sex life. Both very fit and toned. Ironically OW...not so much.

For most men, different always trumps hot (fit and toned).

Maybe at midlife when you have no plans to leave and different is easy and discreet.

[Anonymous]

Married 17 years (two kids). Maybe I’m an outlier, but my attraction to my wife is off the charts—over the years, our comfort level grew and we lost our inhibitions. This translates beautifully to the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general, most couples are sexually happy with their spouse before kids, some keep it going post-kids, and by your mid-40s to 50s, few couples have a healthy sex life still. So the responses here are meaningless unless they specify age and whether they are on their first marriage.

+1. Cracks me up how often middle aged women on these boards proclaim their healthy sex drive and then a few paragraphs or posts later it comes out that they're dating or recently on their second marriage or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 years married, 24 years together. Still a few times per week. We are both still very fit and toned.

And why does that matter?

If one of the partners gives up, looks gross, the desire dampens.

We workout together and are still very attracted to each other’s bodies.

If you are out of shape, sex isn’t as good.

+100 I’ve stayed very fit thru our entire marriage but my husband hasn’t and I don’t find him appealing. I find it to be unfair that I work hard and care how I look to him and he doesn’t give a crap how he looks naked to me. Lazy and selfish imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general, most couples are sexually happy with their spouse before kids, some keep it going post-kids, and by your mid-40s to 50s, few couples have a healthy sex life still. So the responses here are meaningless unless they specify age and whether they are on their first marriage.

I agree. I hear it from most my gfs how they wish their husbands would just leave them alone and how sex is a chore!