Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s a status symbol but it’s definitely a rich person thing. We make ~700k and can only easily afford 3 and the type of lifestyle we want (nice house, private school, several vacations a year, 100% of college and grad school paid for, etc.).

This is a little out of touch.

NP. True though. I could have written the same thing. Kids are super expensive! Especially if you are raising them in an UMC, private school context.

I’m aware; I have six on about half that income.
There had to be other reasons not to have kids if that poster can’t figure out four kids on $700K. They probably didn’t want more kids. Which is fine. But to say they couldn’t afford more is ridiculous.

I think her point was that then they’d have to cut back on the nice lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s a status symbol but it’s definitely a rich person thing. We make ~700k and can only easily afford 3 and the type of lifestyle we want (nice house, private school, several vacations a year, 100% of college and grad school paid for, etc.).

This is a little out of touch.

NP. True though. I could have written the same thing. Kids are super expensive! Especially if you are raising them in an UMC, private school context.

I’m aware; I have six on about half that income.
There had to be other reasons not to have kids if that poster can’t figure out four kids on $700K. They probably didn’t want more kids. Which is fine. But to say they couldn’t afford more is ridiculous.

I think her point was that then they’d have to cut back on the nice lifestyle.

Right. She’d rather have a Birkin Bag than a child. She didn’t *really* want a child if she won’t give up a single thing. She could have had an amazingly cushy lifestyle with four, still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on where you live. If you live in fly-over country its often a sign of religious devoutness. That or poverty. On the coasts, it could be a symptom of a blended family - each with their own set of kids. Or wealth.

In the UK and other parts of Europe its a sign of poverty. More kids = more handouts.

I’m Canadian and this is very much the case where I live (think Canadian flyover if you will). Most are very young, often with multiple kids by 20, and aren’t shy about wanting child benefits.

Yep, I'm European and more than two makes you a social pariah and assumed to be low class. In US, it can be sign of wealth - I went to college with someone with 5 siblings, all educated at Deerfield Academy. Very old money. She said she barely saw her parents - they had nannies, tutors, daily cleaning staff and a house manager. Everyone was sent to boarding school in 9th grade. I think it's easier to have a lot of kids if you don't actually have to take care of them.

[Anonymous]

Having your kids in a POD is the new status symbol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on where you live. If you live in fly-over country its often a sign of religious devoutness. That or poverty. On the coasts, it could be a symptom of a blended family - each with their own set of kids. Or wealth.

In the UK and other parts of Europe its a sign of poverty. More kids = more handouts.

I’m Canadian and this is very much the case where I live (think Canadian flyover if you will). Most are very young, often with multiple kids by 20, and aren’t shy about wanting child benefits.

Yep, I'm European and more than two makes you a social pariah and assumed to be low class. In US, it can be sign of wealth - I went to college with someone with 5 siblings, all educated at Deerfield Academy. Very old money. She said she barely saw her parents - they had nannies, tutors, daily cleaning staff and a house manager. Everyone was sent to boarding school in 9th grade. I think it's easier to have a lot of kids if you don't actually have to take care of them.

I agree! All the comfortable Northern European families I know (DH works for a Northern European company) are 1 or maybe 2 kid families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on where you live. If you live in fly-over country its often a sign of religious devoutness. That or poverty. On the coasts, it could be a symptom of a blended family - each with their own set of kids. Or wealth.

In the UK and other parts of Europe its a sign of poverty. More kids = more handouts.

I’m Canadian and this is very much the case where I live (think Canadian flyover if you will). Most are very young, often with multiple kids by 20, and aren’t shy about wanting child benefits.

Yep, I'm European and more than two makes you a social pariah and assumed to be low class. In US, it can be sign of wealth - I went to college with someone with 5 siblings, all educated at Deerfield Academy. Very old money. She said she barely saw her parents - they had nannies, tutors, daily cleaning staff and a house manager. Everyone was sent to boarding school in 9th grade. I think it's easier to have a lot of kids if you don't actually have to take care of them.

I agree! All the comfortable Northern European families I know (DH works for a Northern European company) are 1 or maybe 2 kid families.

Yep, Americans marvel how white collar Northern European companies function while employees take long maternity leaves. Part of the actual answer nobody wants to admit is because educated Northern European women would be disgusted at the idea of having more than 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

Well that’s good more Americans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are UMC and are due with our 4th, but it's a religious choice for us, nothing to do with how much we earn. We believe God will provide and plan to home school if our life changes and we can't afford private.

I think Jesus would want you to adopt or foster children that need help, not keep over populating the planet.

The very first commandment in the Bible is " Be fruitful and Multiply".

Yes, I'm surprised so few christians do this.

[Anonymous]

What a pathetic way to think about children.

I met a beggar in India once who bragged because he had nine SONS.

Please move past thinking of everything from education to people as status symbols. It really reflects some very twisted values.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 4 here. This thread is interesting to see how some of you might judge me if you see us out. We didn’t have four for religious reasons, we are not climate change deniers. We do skew on the plenty of money side of the SES scale. I don’t feel I am overpopulating the earth because in my extended family, we over-index on childless and one-child families - so I’m just ‘swapping’ the ‘allowable’ population growth with them. 😆

Having four kids is frankly quite wonderful! I think we spend more time as a family than many because it’s hard to get lonely here. I didn’t marry until I was 30 and had the four between 32-38. DH and I both work and share things pretty evenly at home.

[Anonymous]

My sister plans to have 4-5. They do well enough but are not rich and she has told me they will “help” with college but are not saving enough to pay the full cost for each. They also don’t travel by plane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My broke AF cousin with 3 (or more) baby daddy's who lives off of government assistance and has for about 20 years has 6 kids. She's utter trash.

If you have 4+ kids I assume you're mentally ill or very religious. Same/same in many cases.

Funny, I’m the OP of the “my sibling is a crappy parent” thread and everyone said I had no right to complain about her.

Your complaints about your sister (with one kid) was stupid. Oh no, she didn’t breastfeed, she lets the kid eat junk and watch tv. The travesty.

[Anonymous]

The people with large families do no worry about college tuition. They teach their kids to work through college, get merit aid, and supplement with loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people with large families do no worry about college tuition. They teach their kids to work through college, get merit aid, and supplement with loans.

Yup I'm one of 4 and my parents didn't pay for college for any of us. We went to the cheapest option and got merit scholarships.
Me -college was free i got merit scholarships
Sibling #2: took out small loan and worked it off
Sibling#3: partial merit scholarship and worked for the rest
Shopping#4 full merit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a pathetic way to think about children.

I met a beggar in India once who bragged because he had nine SONS.

Please move past thinking of everything from education to people as status symbols. It really reflects some very twisted values.

To be fair, in his culture that is important. And does give him status.