Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.

if you can cover most of college at the most expensive privates for 3 kids you are not "middle class."

Why do you think you know more about my finances than I do? My employer provides a substantial tuition benefit for dependents. That will cover a large portion of college for us.

Having the kind of job that does that (university jobs, etc) is in itself a sign of privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.

if you can cover most of college at the most expensive privates for 3 kids you are not "middle class."

Why do you think you know more about my finances than I do? My employer provides a substantial tuition benefit for dependents. That will cover a large portion of college for us.

Having the kind of job that does that (university jobs, etc) is in itself a sign of privilege.

And? How does that prove your argument that I had children as a status symbol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.

if you can cover most of college at the most expensive privates for 3 kids you are not "middle class."

Why do you think you know more about my finances than I do? My employer provides a substantial tuition benefit for dependents. That will cover a large portion of college for us.

Having the kind of job that does that (university jobs, etc) is in itself a sign of privilege.

And? How does that prove your argument that I had children as a status symbol?

Nobody's saying you did. They're arguing with your assertion that you're middle class.

Most people on this thread don't think having a lot of kids is a status symbol--from the comments, big families are usually a sign of devoutness rather than wealth.

Besides, you only have three f--k trophies. That's hardly a big family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like the wealthy law firm partner families have four or five kids, and the lower middle class or working class families. Regular middle class families have one or two.

This. Those with 4+ kids are on the opposite ends of SES spectrum.

Well, certain groups tend to be heavily represented at the two tails in big cities...for example in NYC Orthodox Jews (though it tends to be the Modern Orthodox among the wealthy and the Hasidic among the poor) and Catholics are heavily represented in the tails.

Catholics are in the two tails because of immigration patterns... there are a lot of lower-income Catholics who are recent immigrants from Latin America and there are a lot of Catholics whose families came here at the turn of the century and have been here for 4+ generations at this point and have had time to become established.

Yep, devout/practicing Catholicism in America tends to VERY heavily be from two groups--whites whose families came here during the great wave of immigration from Europe and have been here generations and become established and/or Hispanics who came here relatively recently. DC area Catholics seem to be heavily from these two groups as well, which explains a lot.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll thread. I’m annoyed I even responded. You gave it away with f—k trophies. You went too far. Dial it back next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll thread. I’m annoyed I even responded. You gave it away with f—k trophies. You went too far. Dial it back next time.

Actually there is a lot of really interesting discussion about religion in America here.

[Anonymous]

My broke AF cousin with 3 (or more) baby daddy's who lives off of government assistance and has for about 20 years has 6 kids. She's utter trash.

If you have 4+ kids I assume you're mentally ill or very religious. Same/same in many cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My broke AF cousin with 3 (or more) baby daddy's who lives off of government assistance and has for about 20 years has 6 kids. She's utter trash.

If you have 4+ kids I assume you're mentally ill or very religious. Same/same in many cases.

Funny, I’m the OP of the “my sibling is a crappy parent” thread and everyone said I had no right to complain about her.

[Anonymous]

Aren’t we all f*ck trophies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t we all f*ck trophies?

Some of us are just participation prizes, I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not really. Maybe I’m just not cynical, but I think people with big families just enjoy having a big family for whatever reason. Could be healthy reasons or not but I don’t think anyone has a fourth kid just to flex on their neighbors or Facebook friends and prove they’ve made it. Plus I live outside of the DC area bubble and I know scads of MC and LMC families with 3+ kids.

I have 4 kids (one set of twins). We are financially comfortable, but not wealthy. We just wanted more kids than the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t we all f*ck trophies?

What contest in hell did my parents win?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.

if you can cover most of college at the most expensive privates for 3 kids you are not "middle class."

Why do you think you know more about my finances than I do? My employer provides a substantial tuition benefit for dependents. That will cover a large portion of college for us.

Having the kind of job that does that (university jobs, etc) is in itself a sign of privilege.

And? How does that prove your argument that I had children as a status symbol?

Nobody's saying you did. They're arguing with your assertion that you're middle class.

Most people on this thread don't think having a lot of kids is a status symbol--from the comments, big families are usually a sign of devoutness rather than wealth.

Besides, you only have three f--k trophies. That's hardly a big family.

Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s a status symbol but it’s definitely a rich person thing. We make ~700k and can only easily afford 3 and the type of lifestyle we want (nice house, private school, several vacations a year, 100% of college and grad school paid for, etc.).

This is a little out of touch.

NP. True though. I could have written the same thing. Kids are super expensive! Especially if you are raising them in an UMC, private school context.

I’m aware; I have six on about half that income.
There had to be other reasons not to have kids if that poster can’t figure out four kids on $700K. They probably didn’t want more kids. Which is fine. But to say they couldn’t afford more is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids. We’re not Catholic and not wealthy by DCUM standards, but DH and I are both professionals and do well enough to pay for what the kids need. We planned on 3 but went for the 4th because we enjoy the kids so much. The kids go to public school. DH and I did meet in college and got married in our mid-20s, so we started earlier than most of our peers.