Millennial hipsters starting emails with "Hello" - WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In regards to Hello. I once sent a large email out as part of my job at JP MORGAN to entire company. Was a very important email. The average employee all in with benefits makes around $60 an hour. So it costs $1 dollar a minute to read the email. Or $350,000 per minute.

We drafted it in a manner so it could be read on one blackberry/Iphone screen, no scrolling down. Each scroll down would cost us a lot as the email costs the company $6,000 a second. We then bolded and font adjusted the few important words and sentences. Got it down to something you could read in around 5 seconds bringing cost down to $30,000.

Unless you are sending out emails to several hundred thousand people in a highly paid company a Hello is fine

I guess you lost the knack for brevity since that email.

I did it was stressful. I also had to do a SINGLE Powerpoint slide to explain a project that had 250 people working on it for one year. In detail one slide. They drove me nuts. It is way harder to write like that then just go on like I am doing now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else push the rude emails without any greetings to the bottom of the To Do list?

Nothing more I love than logging in on a Monday to an email that says:

I need the XYZ report run for 2017 to compare to 2019 ASAP. - Tom

And then pushing that baby down down down on my list. Learn to say fing hello, Tom. At least use my name!

THIS! I once had the sender track me down. It took a while to find the email. I opened it and said something like "Oh, that. I didn't realize you meant it for me. It doesn't have a greeting or my name. I presumed you sent it in error so I ignored it. Oops." From that point forward I received a nice salutation with my name and a good close. Mission accomplished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In regards to Hello. I once sent a large email out as part of my job at JP MORGAN to entire company. Was a very important email. The average employee all in with benefits makes around $60 an hour. So it costs $1 dollar a minute to read the email. Or $350,000 per minute.

We drafted it in a manner so it could be read on one blackberry/Iphone screen, no scrolling down. Each scroll down would cost us a lot as the email costs the company $6,000 a second. We then bolded and font adjusted the few important words and sentences. Got it down to something you could read in around 5 seconds bringing cost down to $30,000.

Unless you are sending out emails to several hundred thousand people in a highly paid company a Hello is fine

I guess you lost the knack for brevity since that email.

I did it was stressful. I also had to do a SINGLE Powerpoint slide to explain a project that had 250 people working on it for one year. In detail one slide. They drove me nuts. It is way harder to write like that then just go on like I am doing now

How do I get this job!?!?

[Anonymous]

biglaw partner. i start most of my emails "Hiiiiii [name]."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:biglaw partner. i start most of my emails "Hiiiiii [name]."

Sure you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't agree with OP, but would just like to put in a plug for banning "Cheers," at the end. Thanks.

OMG YES!

Now I am going to add cheers to my emails! Thx for the suggestion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:haha generation x er raised by greatest generation, with a young child here- I always say Hello, Hi

+1

Hello, OP!

You are a jerk.

Goodbye,
Gen-X

[Anonymous]

It isn’t only millennials. I have a co worker who adamantly prefers a full formal multi paragraph, formal email to ask one stupid little question.

So I now right 5-6 paragraphs typically highlighting the weather, what I have been up to for the past few days, what I have eaten, dream vacations, wonderments of life/science. Somewhere in the middle of those paragraphs I will ask the question at hand, but never in the same place.

I have several pre drafted, that I type at random times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn’t only millennials. I have a co worker who adamantly prefers a full formal multi paragraph, formal email to ask one stupid little question.

So I now right 5-6 paragraphs typically highlighting the weather, what I have been up to for the past few days, what I have eaten, dream vacations, wonderments of life/science. Somewhere in the middle of those paragraphs I will ask the question at hand, but never in the same place.

I have several pre drafted, that I type at random times.

Don't they catch on if your predrafted weather description is inaccurate? :p