Millennial hipsters starting emails with "Hello" - WTF?

[Anonymous]

In regards to Hello. I once sent a large email out as part of my job at JP MORGAN to entire company. Was a very important email. The average employee all in with benefits makes around $60 an hour. So it costs $1 dollar a minute to read the email. Or $350,000 per minute.

We drafted it in a manner so it could be read on one blackberry/Iphone screen, no scrolling down. Each scroll down would cost us a lot as the email costs the company $6,000 a second. We then bolded and font adjusted the few important words and sentences. Got it down to something you could read in around 5 seconds bringing cost down to $30,000.

Unless you are sending out emails to several hundred thousand people in a highly paid company a Hello is fine

[Anonymous]

If it’s the first message, I start with “Good morning, Joe.” If it’s a response/ongoing exchange, I dive right in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In regards to Hello. I once sent a large email out as part of my job at JP MORGAN to entire company. Was a very important email. The average employee all in with benefits makes around $60 an hour. So it costs $1 dollar a minute to read the email. Or $350,000 per minute.

We drafted it in a manner so it could be read on one blackberry/Iphone screen, no scrolling down. Each scroll down would cost us a lot as the email costs the company $6,000 a second. We then bolded and font adjusted the few important words and sentences. Got it down to something you could read in around 5 seconds bringing cost down to $30,000.

Unless you are sending out emails to several hundred thousand people in a highly paid company a Hello is fine

I guess you lost the knack for brevity since that email.

[Anonymous]

Op you cannot be real. Beginning an email with a salutation is basic politeness. Not only are you wrong but your colleagues probably think you a very rude.

[Anonymous]

Also, there’s a decent chance this offending employee is actually Gen Z. Millennials are now 25-40. But of course, millennial is a catchier term than Gen Z.

[Anonymous]

I'm a Millennial and I always start my emails with Hello Name or Hi Name. Otherwise I feel like I'm barking at them. And if I get an email (that's not part of a reply chain) with no greeting, I find it rude and off-putting, like they couldn't be bothered with even basic social niceties in their hurry to demand stuff from me. Some people send work emails that look like they're texting. NOT younger people, either.

[Anonymous]

This type of rant is way below your pay grade.

Have some dignity and self-respect. You clearly need a few more projects to fill your time.

[Anonymous]

THIS POST MADE ME SO MAD I AM SHAKING. I SPILLED MY PRUNE JUICE ALL OVER MYSELF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you cannot be real. Beginning an email with a salutation is basic politeness. Not only are you wrong but your colleagues probably think you a very rude.

+1. I work for a very kind organization who is known for being good to employees. My manager came on and started sending short, snappy, nasty emails to everyone. And people complained! The person got spoken to and now crafts normal, nice emails. With greetings.

Her emails used to be like “I don’t know why you didn’t do this the first time” and “I’m new here so maybe I’m missing this, but”. I can’t give good examples but they were snarky, pseudo nasty emails and she was always wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,
You are wrong, terribly wrong- and also super uptight.
Cordially,
Boomer Probably Even Older Than You.

Hi,

Hope you and your family are doing well.

Just forwarding a great PSA that I saw today.

Sincerely,
Gen X’er who was raised with manners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you cannot be real. Beginning an email with a salutation is basic politeness. Not only are you wrong but your colleagues probably think you a very rude.

+1. I work for a very kind organization who is known for being good to employees. My manager came on and started sending short, snappy, nasty emails to everyone. And people complained! The person got spoken to and now crafts normal, nice emails. With greetings.

Her emails used to be like “I don’t know why you didn’t do this the first time” and “I’m new here so maybe I’m missing this, but”. I can’t give good examples but they were snarky, pseudo nasty emails and she was always wrong.

This is OP and I just want to say I am not that passive aggressive person. I don't leave catty comments in emails like that. Besides the opener which I confess I have NEVER done beyond when I am emailing someone I don't know very well, my emails are polite and filled with pleases and thank yous and even occasional jokes and camaraderie. I just don't remember ever seeing this "Hello." business until the last six months or so, and it seems weird.

I'm okay with a friend emailing and starting off with pleasantries. I'm even okay with someone I don't work with very much opening with a greeting. But when someone who emails back and forth with me 10 or 20 times a day opens each new string with "Hello." I feel like I'm emailing an AI simulation and not an actual person.

That said, I hear everyone's comments here and will do my best to adopt this -- in my first email only, I'm not going crazy here -- going forward in my email communications, because some people really feel strongly that it's impolite not to have a greeting. DCUM you have changed me. I trust it's for the better - in my heart I'm still skeptical but I want to believe.

Sincerely,
Apparently people really do like this sort of thing, maybe I am the monster

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else push the rude emails without any greetings to the bottom of the To Do list?

Nothing more I love than logging in on a Monday to an email that says:

I need the XYZ report run for 2017 to compare to 2019 ASAP. - Tom

And then pushing that baby down down down on my list. Learn to say fing hello, Tom. At least use my name!

[Anonymous]

Everyone starts emails with hello!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In regards to Hello. I once sent a large email out as part of my job at JP MORGAN to entire company. Was a very important email. The average employee all in with benefits makes around $60 an hour. So it costs $1 dollar a minute to read the email. Or $350,000 per minute.

We drafted it in a manner so it could be read on one blackberry/Iphone screen, no scrolling down. Each scroll down would cost us a lot as the email costs the company $6,000 a second. We then bolded and font adjusted the few important words and sentences. Got it down to something you could read in around 5 seconds bringing cost down to $30,000.

Unless you are sending out emails to several hundred thousand people in a highly paid company a Hello is fine

I guess you lost the knack for brevity since that email.

Pfft! Funny, PP!

[Anonymous]