Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?

[Anonymous]

I dropped to 80% when we were in this situation so I could be there for pick up and after school activities. I've found that car time is a great opportunity to actually talk to my kids. A lot comes out in those conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went from a full time nanny to no help besides aftercare and it was a huge difference. Our nanny tidied up daily, did the dishes, did the laundry and helped with meal prep. We were scrambling daily. I felt like I was always doing dishes and laundry.

I’m assuming your nanny turned more housekeeper since your 2 kids are in elementary school all day.

Yes, our nanny tidies, does the laundry, etc. I don't want to feel like we're scrambling all the time so this is a huge concern. Our nanny turned into more of a house manager once the kids were both in school because she wanted to stay with us and we wanted to keep her so maybe I just need to look more at a house manager kind of position who can also help with the kids as needed. I'm sure some nannies wouldn't be interested in this position anyway since it's not full-time childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You answered your question in your post.

You have flexible jobs.
Kids can do activities after school sometimes.
Kids can entertain themselves while you work from home after school.
Other things you listed.

What is the issue?

She has a FT nanny now. She has no idea how much the nanny’s doing. Kids will be needy if “entertaining themselves” after school almost every day.
It’s weird that she doesn’t just get a normal amount of care, such as a sitter. Or aftercare.

Actually, I do know exactly how much she's doing, which is why I'm trying to be realistic about not hiring someone to take her place. I'm not expecting my kids to entertain themselves after school every day. A lot of people have suggested after care, so it's good to know that kids seem to really like that. It's not an option we've ever used before so I don't know much about it. I never said I wouldn't use that option. Also, sorry you think it's "weird" that I wouldn't get a sitter, but part-time sitters are incredibly hard to find, at least ones that are really reliable. And payment is not an issue. We pay our current nanny $30/hour ($45/hour for overtime) so I'm not cheap.

Wow $30/hr for multichild care cooking, cleaning and errands? TBH that sounds like a good deal for you, and kind of a bad deal for the nanny

My kids are in school from 8-3 most days but she's still paid full-time, even on the days when she's not working. M, W, and F she'll run occasional errands but is mostly off while they're at school. T and Th is when she does groceries and other stuff. She's paid for 12 hours a day so she makes overtime. It's actually a very good deal for her.

But she's on call so she's not actually off right? If there is a school emergency, is she expected to deal with it or is she actually off and not working? And do you provide health insurance and retirement benefits? I guess the market speaks for itself. If it was so great for her, she'd figure out a way to stay even with the baby. This thread has gotten so long so I'm sorry if this has been mentioned before, but have you looked into finding a SAHM with similar aged kids to do this job? Someone like me with kid is in school, who runs errands and clean during the day for her own family and could easily slot yours in too I'd think.

Yes, she is always "on call" during the day. I pretty much know her schedule and I know what she does when the kids are in school so I try to be respectful of that and I do ask her to tell me if she has an appointment, like taking her cat to the vet or something, so that I know not to bug her then. But basically she's supposed to be available from 6:30-6:30, although some nights are earlier if they don't have a later activity. She has health insurance through her husband, who is military, so we contribute what we would have paid towards that for additional retirement. She also gets a cell phone stipend, we pay for her gas, etc. We really wanted her years ago before the kids were born so we offered a good package and have done raises throughout the years (which is why she's currently at $30/hour). This is her first baby and I think she just wants to stay home, which I understand. Honestly, we wouldn't continue to pay her for 12 hours a day if she had the baby because we know she wouldn't be on call and available like she is now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dropped to 80% when we were in this situation so I could be there for pick up and after school activities. I've found that car time is a great opportunity to actually talk to my kids. A lot comes out in those conversations.

While I love my job, it would be very difficult for me to drop to 80% because while I'm in charge of my own hours, I am not able to just shut down my computer when I hit 40 for the week. I have to get done what needs to get done, and my fear is that I'd still work the same but be paid less. I do like car time so I currently make an effort to take my kids to school at least once a week, if not more. I also generally pick them up from evening activities (but the nanny takes them there, which saves me a few hours and lets me work a normal day).

[Anonymous]

*raises hand* We adjusted our hours to avoid childcare.

My kids' bus picks up at 7:45 and drops off at 3:45. DH gets them on the bus and then commutes ~45 minutes. He works 8:30-5:45ish. My commute is only 20 minutes so I leave the house at 6:40, am at work by 7, and then leave work at 3-3:15ish every day. I handle after school activities, obviously.

I usually do log back in after they go to bed.

We made a conscious decision not to do aftercare because one of my kids is a sensitive introvert and I knew it would be overwhelming for him to be in school for 7 hours and then go to noisy, busy aftercare.

We do have a cleaning lady who comes every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*raises hand* We adjusted our hours to avoid childcare.

My kids' bus picks up at 7:45 and drops off at 3:45. DH gets them on the bus and then commutes ~45 minutes. He works 8:30-5:45ish. My commute is only 20 minutes so I leave the house at 6:40, am at work by 7, and then leave work at 3-3:15ish every day. I handle after school activities, obviously.

I usually do log back in after they go to bed.

We made a conscious decision not to do aftercare because one of my kids is a sensitive introvert and I knew it would be overwhelming for him to be in school for 7 hours and then go to noisy, busy aftercare.

We do have a cleaning lady who comes every week.

Do you feel like you get enough family time together on the weekends? I know we've been spoiled with our current situation so I'm willing to accept that things would be harder if we did something like this and switched our schedules so that one of us handled mornings and the other handled evenings, but I don't want us to always feel behind or out of sync. We generally spend the weekends together since neither of us really works then so maybe that would be our saving grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You answered your question in your post.

You have flexible jobs.
Kids can do activities after school sometimes.
Kids can entertain themselves while you work from home after school.
Other things you listed.

What is the issue?

She has a FT nanny now. She has no idea how much the nanny’s doing. Kids will be needy if “entertaining themselves” after school almost every day.
It’s weird that she doesn’t just get a normal amount of care, such as a sitter. Or aftercare.

Actually, I do know exactly how much she's doing, which is why I'm trying to be realistic about not hiring someone to take her place. I'm not expecting my kids to entertain themselves after school every day. A lot of people have suggested after care, so it's good to know that kids seem to really like that. It's not an option we've ever used before so I don't know much about it. I never said I wouldn't use that option. Also, sorry you think it's "weird" that I wouldn't get a sitter, but part-time sitters are incredibly hard to find, at least ones that are really reliable. And payment is not an issue. We pay our current nanny $30/hour ($45/hour for overtime) so I'm not cheap.

Wow $30/hr for multichild care cooking, cleaning and errands? TBH that sounds like a good deal for you, and kind of a bad deal for the nanny

My kids are in school from 8-3 most days but she's still paid full-time, even on the days when she's not working. M, W, and F she'll run occasional errands but is mostly off while they're at school. T and Th is when she does groceries and other stuff. She's paid for 12 hours a day so she makes overtime. It's actually a very good deal for her.

But she's on call so she's not actually off right? If there is a school emergency, is she expected to deal with it or is she actually off and not working? And do you provide health insurance and retirement benefits? I guess the market speaks for itself. If it was so great for her, she'd figure out a way to stay even with the baby. This thread has gotten so long so I'm sorry if this has been mentioned before, but have you looked into finding a SAHM with similar aged kids to do this job? Someone like me with kid is in school, who runs errands and clean during the day for her own family and could easily slot yours in too I'd think.

Maybe the nanny knows it is a great deal but STILL just wants to be home with her baby, and not working at all. The way you phrase that, plus the fact that you suggest to hire a "SAHM" to work for OP shows you don't understand that some people WANT to be a SAHP and aren't looking for any type of side gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*raises hand* We adjusted our hours to avoid childcare.

My kids' bus picks up at 7:45 and drops off at 3:45. DH gets them on the bus and then commutes ~45 minutes. He works 8:30-5:45ish. My commute is only 20 minutes so I leave the house at 6:40, am at work by 7, and then leave work at 3-3:15ish every day. I handle after school activities, obviously.

I usually do log back in after they go to bed.

We made a conscious decision not to do aftercare because one of my kids is a sensitive introvert and I knew it would be overwhelming for him to be in school for 7 hours and then go to noisy, busy aftercare.

We do have a cleaning lady who comes every week.

What about snow days and delays? Sick days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*raises hand* We adjusted our hours to avoid childcare.

My kids' bus picks up at 7:45 and drops off at 3:45. DH gets them on the bus and then commutes ~45 minutes. He works 8:30-5:45ish. My commute is only 20 minutes so I leave the house at 6:40, am at work by 7, and then leave work at 3-3:15ish every day. I handle after school activities, obviously.

I usually do log back in after they go to bed.

We made a conscious decision not to do aftercare because one of my kids is a sensitive introvert and I knew it would be overwhelming for him to be in school for 7 hours and then go to noisy, busy aftercare.

We do have a cleaning lady who comes every week.

What about snow days and delays? Sick days?

You stay home. I take PTO.