Anyone have two working parents and no childcare (other than school during normal hours)?

[Anonymous]

My kids are in public school and ride the bus and we and lots of our neighbors do this. I work from home full time so that right there is half the battle. If I put the kids on the bus in the morning and pick them up from the bus in the afternoon, I am home for more than 7 hours in between. Most days, DH puts them on the bus and then heads to work (short commute) or works from home. I can start working earlier that way and by the time my kids get home I have put in 8 hours or more. During the season that DH coaches, we do the opposite on his coaching days. There are also days when the kids come home and I tell them to get snack and do homework because I still have a little work to do. It all works out quite well on a day to day basis. Snow days, sick days, and teacher work days are a bit harder but we just trade off or do camps for TWD or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I've only skimmed the replies so maybe OP already answered this, but why on earth would you move from full time care to no care at all, if money wasn't an issue (and it sounds like it isn't if you can afford a full time nanny at $30/hour when your kids are in school)?? Stop agonizing and just sign up aftercare. You'll still save a fortune over what you're paying now, and you won't have to stress everyday about getting home in time for pickup at 2:30 or whatever.

I truly don't understand why this is even a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've only skimmed the replies so maybe OP already answered this, but why on earth would you move from full time care to no care at all, if money wasn't an issue (and it sounds like it isn't if you can afford a full time nanny at $30/hour when your kids are in school)?? Stop agonizing and just sign up aftercare. You'll still save a fortune over what you're paying now, and you won't have to stress everyday about getting home in time for pickup at 2:30 or whatever.

I truly don't understand why this is even a question.

I understand that aftercare is a popular choice, so thanks to everyone who pointed it out. I have never looked into it before because I’ve never had to. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that none of our friends use it. They either have nannies, one parent who stays home, parents who are teachers at the same school the kids attend, or parents with opposite schedules. We also have government friends who can work between bus pick up and drop off. Our kids currently do activities after every school day that aren’t at school so aftercare wouldn’t work with that schedule. Obviously things are going to change and if they love aftercare as much as everyone else’s kids on here then they’ll be fine. Money isn’t infinite and we have sacrificed in ways to maintain our nanny but now that we’re facing a decision we’re trying to make the best one for us. Part-time care can be hard to find and I’m not sure we can justify full-time care anymore, especially for someone we don’t love as much as our current nanny. So clearly you’re a fan of aftercare. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've only skimmed the replies so maybe OP already answered this, but why on earth would you move from full time care to no care at all, if money wasn't an issue (and it sounds like it isn't if you can afford a full time nanny at $30/hour when your kids are in school)?? Stop agonizing and just sign up aftercare. You'll still save a fortune over what you're paying now, and you won't have to stress everyday about getting home in time for pickup at 2:30 or whatever.

I truly don't understand why this is even a question.

I understand that aftercare is a popular choice, so thanks to everyone who pointed it out. I have never looked into it before because I’ve never had to. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that none of our friends use it. They either have nannies, one parent who stays home, parents who are teachers at the same school the kids attend, or parents with opposite schedules. We also have government friends who can work between bus pick up and drop off. Our kids currently do activities after every school day that aren’t at school so aftercare wouldn’t work with that schedule. Obviously things are going to change and if they love aftercare as much as everyone else’s kids on here then they’ll be fine. Money isn’t infinite and we have sacrificed in ways to maintain our nanny but now that we’re facing a decision we’re trying to make the best one for us. Part-time care can be hard to find and I’m not sure we can justify full-time care anymore, especially for someone we don’t love as much as our current nanny. So clearly you’re a fan of aftercare. Thanks for your thoughts.

Maybe you are not aware since you don't use it but at our school I don't know 1 parent that stays home that does not use aftercare occasionally.

[Anonymous]

I WFH a lot so our youngest (elementary school) does 1-2 days of after care a week. So I guess that's not NO childcare, but it's very little. We do some camps in summer but mainly because their friends are doing camps. Grandparents live close by so they help a lot, and I WFH even more in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've only skimmed the replies so maybe OP already answered this, but why on earth would you move from full time care to no care at all, if money wasn't an issue (and it sounds like it isn't if you can afford a full time nanny at $30/hour when your kids are in school)?? Stop agonizing and just sign up aftercare. You'll still save a fortune over what you're paying now, and you won't have to stress everyday about getting home in time for pickup at 2:30 or whatever.

I truly don't understand why this is even a question.

I understand that aftercare is a popular choice, so thanks to everyone who pointed it out. I have never looked into it before because I’ve never had to. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that none of our friends use it. They either have nannies, one parent who stays home, parents who are teachers at the same school the kids attend, or parents with opposite schedules. We also have government friends who can work between bus pick up and drop off. Our kids currently do activities after every school day that aren’t at school so aftercare wouldn’t work with that schedule. Obviously things are going to change and if they love aftercare as much as everyone else’s kids on here then they’ll be fine. Money isn’t infinite and we have sacrificed in ways to maintain our nanny but now that we’re facing a decision we’re trying to make the best one for us. Part-time care can be hard to find and I’m not sure we can justify full-time care anymore, especially for someone we don’t love as much as our current nanny. So clearly you’re a fan of aftercare. Thanks for your thoughts.

PP here. I am a fan of aftercare but I also know it's not perfect. I'm just saying it's an obvious middle-ground solution between a full time nanny and no childcare at all. No one is required to attend aftercare every day, so if there is a day or two each week when it works for your schedule to pick them up and take them to activities, so be it. Again, you'll be paying a tiny fraction of what you are paying now for a full time nanny. And buying a ton of peace of mind about not having to completely overhaul your work schedule and rush out of work everyday at 2:30.

[Anonymous]

What about an au-pair? Seems like a perfect fit to me.

Also - OP, your neighborhood life sounds wonderful. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

I did it BUT I always did it, meaning when my kids were young, I did it on my own. It was very, very difficult. In your case, I don’t think it will work. If you kept a full time nanny on even after full time school started, I think this would be incredibly hard to now have zero childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I WFH a lot so our youngest (elementary school) does 1-2 days of after care a week. So I guess that's not NO childcare, but it's very little. We do some camps in summer but mainly because their friends are doing camps. Grandparents live close by so they help a lot, and I WFH even more in the summer.

If it’s two days a week, that’s 40% of the time. I wouldn’t call that “very little.” Not dissing aftercare at all tho

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks OP’s nanny is crazy to give up her job? $30/hour x 60 hours a week is almost $100k a year! And I’m guessing the nanny only does 20 hours of “real” work and the rest of the time was simply on-call. That sounds like an awesome deal to me.

[Anonymous]

We went from a full time nanny to no help besides aftercare and it was a huge difference. Our nanny tidied up daily, did the dishes, did the laundry and helped with meal prep. We were scrambling daily. I felt like I was always doing dishes and laundry.

I’m assuming your nanny turned more housekeeper since your 2 kids are in elementary school all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You answered your question in your post.

You have flexible jobs.
Kids can do activities after school sometimes.
Kids can entertain themselves while you work from home after school.
Other things you listed.

What is the issue?

She has a FT nanny now. She has no idea how much the nanny’s doing. Kids will be needy if “entertaining themselves” after school almost every day.
It’s weird that she doesn’t just get a normal amount of care, such as a sitter. Or aftercare.

Actually, I do know exactly how much she's doing, which is why I'm trying to be realistic about not hiring someone to take her place. I'm not expecting my kids to entertain themselves after school every day. A lot of people have suggested after care, so it's good to know that kids seem to really like that. It's not an option we've ever used before so I don't know much about it. I never said I wouldn't use that option. Also, sorry you think it's "weird" that I wouldn't get a sitter, but part-time sitters are incredibly hard to find, at least ones that are really reliable. And payment is not an issue. We pay our current nanny $30/hour ($45/hour for overtime) so I'm not cheap.

Wow $30/hr for multichild care cooking, cleaning and errands? TBH that sounds like a good deal for you, and kind of a bad deal for the nanny

My kids are in school from 8-3 most days but she's still paid full-time, even on the days when she's not working. M, W, and F she'll run occasional errands but is mostly off while they're at school. T and Th is when she does groceries and other stuff. She's paid for 12 hours a day so she makes overtime. It's actually a very good deal for her.

But she's on call so she's not actually off right? If there is a school emergency, is she expected to deal with it or is she actually off and not working? And do you provide health insurance and retirement benefits? I guess the market speaks for itself. If it was so great for her, she'd figure out a way to stay even with the baby. This thread has gotten so long so I'm sorry if this has been mentioned before, but have you looked into finding a SAHM with similar aged kids to do this job? Someone like me with kid is in school, who runs errands and clean during the day for her own family and could easily slot yours in too I'd think.

[Anonymous]

We have 3, 2 in elementary school and one in part time preschool. DH and I work alternate schedules. I go in early so I am done in time to pick up the two in elementary and then DH does drop off and is able to work a few hours 3 days a week when the our youngest is in preschool. Basically he takes the early shift and I take the later shift. DH is a hoteler and is able to set his own hours so most of the time he works when I get home at 3:30 till midnight. It's not ideal since DH doesn't spend much time with the older two but it was the opposite scenario when they were babies and he saw them more than I did. There are trade offs but it's saved us thousands of dollars over the last 5 years with 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Similar to PP, DH and I stagger our hours. DH goes into the office early and comes home early to be home after school. I go into the office late so I'm home before school. We alternate on sick days. The kids are in camp in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about an au-pair? Seems like a perfect fit to me.

Also - OP, your neighborhood life sounds wonderful. Where do you live?

We have a guest room on a separate floor but we have guests come so often that it wouldn't make sense to have an au pair stay there. I know friends who have done it and been happy but I don't think it's a good solution for our family.

We don't live in DC anymore - we moved when I left the government. Now we live in Norfolk on the water in an amazing neighborhood where we can walk or golf cart to all our friends' houses. Our kids have dozens of friends and so do we. It's literally heaven on earth. Plus no DC commute!