How to look high-end at work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

This. We have several highly influential women executives including our CEO, who are unassuming and simple. In fact women who focus too much on grooming are viewed as “dolls” and not taken too seriously. Women in power actually look like they don’t care much for their appearance. They deliver what matters.

Please. Nancy Pelosi doesn't spend time on her appearance? Oprah doesn't spend time on her appearance? Michelle Obama? I would dare anyone to call them dolls. If you want to look frumpy and crazy, just do that. No need to denigrate people who take pride in their appearance.

Yeah this seems like silly advice. And I say this as someone who is sitting in a dirty flannel shirt and shorts, after walking the dog.

OP isn't looking for a philosophy of slobbing it up as a sign of power, I don't think. I think she is asking for advice on how to look more polished, and like she belongs at the top of her company.

It seems like good advice to go to some stores you like and ask the salespeople for advice finding some new professional clothes that are a step above what you usually wear, OP. Buy a few things to get started. See what feels right, and buy more as time goes on. I would not overhaul your whole wardrobe all at once, I don't think - it might turn out you hate wearing blazers or that you do feel more comfortable in jeans and a good top than you expected, or whatever.

Congrats on the promotion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

LOL

Do they tell you this? --> "You look like a person who is Ivy-educated and rich."

No, not that exact sentence. I have had acquaintances ask if I went to Harvard or Yale. I have had former coworkers at different companies make the statements involving silver spoons, etc. When I correct them they are usually embarrassed and admit they assumed I was rich/came from money.

Uh huh. Sure they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the PP who posted The Fold https://thefoldlondon.com/ and Cefinn https://www.cefinn.com/us/ -- any other ideas? I particularly like The Fold & wonder what else you'd recommend. Not OP, just hijacking.

You beat me to recommending The Fold. You can find less expensive but still polished dresses at MMLaFleur. Add heels (2-3 inches max- I love LK Bennett), diamond or pearl studs, a high end but not flashy (not covered in logos) handbag.

Keep your hair and nails neat. No polish or stick to neutral colors. Natural make up.

I'm the PP who posted The Fold and Cefinn. First, keep your eyes peeled for sales on these sites - they come up at least a couple of times a year and Cefinn is also sold at Net a Porter so goes on sale there too. I personally find LK Bennett and MMLaFleur a bit less interesting as brands but you can find some nice stuff there too so I agree that they are worth a look. If you are open to brighter colors and prints, a new brand I like is Kitri - https://kitristudio.us/ For simpler styles, Me+Em is excellent quality and you can do well in the sales there too - https://www.meandem.com/us/ . If you like that kind of style, also check out Cos (there is a store in Georgetown) https://www.cosstores.com/en_usd/index.html - I recommend going to see it rather than just looking online because I think the way they present it online looks very weird and it's much nicer in person.

As another PP posted, I also like Of Mercer, and MaxMara is always worth a look, particularly for their trousers and particularly around sale time (i.e. now).

Edited to add, on Matches Fashion right now there are quite a few really nice Cefinn dresses on sale for around the $185 mark.

Just bought a Cefinn dress - thanks!

[Anonymous]

Not clothing related, but I’d use crest strips or similar on a semi regular basis. Yellowing teeth will cheapen any look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not clothing related, but I’d use crest strips or similar on a semi regular basis. Yellowing teeth will cheapen any look.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

LOL

Do they tell you this? --> "You look like a person who is Ivy-educated and rich."

No, not that exact sentence. I have had acquaintances ask if I went to Harvard or Yale. I have had former coworkers at different companies make the statements involving silver spoons, etc. When I correct them they are usually embarrassed and admit they assumed I was rich/came from money.

Uh huh. Sure they do.

I DID go to a Harvard/Princeton/Yale and I would imagine they are either telling you 1) you are snottty, and/or 2) you come off as well educated. I doubt it has anything to do with the way you dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not clothing related, but I’d use crest strips or similar on a semi regular basis. Yellowing teeth will cheapen any look.

Agree

How often can/do you use these? do they cause damage to teeth?
I find by the way that just a couple days of them makes a difference in color to my teeth (maybe the most noticable changes happen in the first several uses, so you can spread them out throughout the year if you want )

Any reasons outside cost to not use frequently?

[Anonymous]

They don’t damage enamel. You may get sensitive teeth temporarily if using them too often, but I find brushing with sensitive tooth paste before and after eliminates that problem.

[Anonymous]

I think teeth whitener damaged my teeth and they have been sensitive ever since I stopped using them 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

This. We have several highly influential women executives including our CEO, who are unassuming and simple. In fact women who focus too much on grooming are viewed as “dolls” and not taken too seriously. Women in power actually look like they don’t care much for their appearance. They deliver what matters.

I cannot emphasize enough how true this is. The highest ranking women never look dolled up. Not frumpy , but not like they spent all day in the salon.

It’s true that no senior women look like an Instagram model. But some of us (me included) have to put in a ton of effort just to get to the “polished” looking baseline because we have bad skin, or limp/frizzy hair, or body proportions that require extensive tailoring for anything to fit... etc.... and hearing “just stop focusing so much on your appearance!” from women with none of these problems is so f***ing obnoxious.

And before anyone thinks I’m complaining about being overweight, I am 5’4” and 120lbs at 40 with two kids. I still have to spend a huge amount of money and time at the tailor to get things to fit just because of the way my body is shaped.

Wow, your post is so negative.

[Anonymous]

I like how Kamala Harris dresses.... she always looks polished, stylish yet slightly understated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

This. We have several highly influential women executives including our CEO, who are unassuming and simple. In fact women who focus too much on grooming are viewed as “dolls” and not taken too seriously. Women in power actually look like they don’t care much for their appearance. They deliver what matters.

I cannot emphasize enough how true this is. The highest ranking women never look dolled up. Not frumpy , but not like they spent all day in the salon.

I’m sorry, but this is such a D.C. point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

This. We have several highly influential women executives including our CEO, who are unassuming and simple. In fact women who focus too much on grooming are viewed as “dolls” and not taken too seriously. Women in power actually look like they don’t care much for their appearance. They deliver what matters.

I cannot emphasize enough how true this is. The highest ranking women never look dolled up. Not frumpy , but not like they spent all day in the salon.

Agree. You don't want your clothes to distract from you. The women CEO's that I've met look professional and chic, but I didn't really notice their clothes per se. My mother always told me that you want people to say "you look great" not "that's a beautiful dress."

[Anonymous]

PSA on returns for TheFold (easy - USPS prepaid label, done) & Cefinn (nightmare; you have to email them to have them set up a 4 hour DHL pick up window!!). Yikes.

[Anonymous]

I think the key is the look slim and as polished but neutral as you can. Like... gweneth paltrow. She is plain looking and dresses plain, but is always neutral and well groomed, so she looks polished. I know I’ll get some hate for this example, but I think it’s true.