How to look high-end at work

[Anonymous]

It's a challenge for me. I'm still looking for my style. I have a senior position in tech. But I'm a 44 year old woman. Adding to struggle is the fact that I'm overweight. Guys in my industry wear jeans and t-shirts or shirts or khakis and polos. I have no idea what to wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

LOL

Do they tell you this? --> "You look like a person who is Ivy-educated and rich."

No, not that exact sentence. I have had acquaintances ask if I went to Harvard or Yale. I have had former coworkers at different companies make the statements involving silver spoons, etc. When I correct them they are usually embarrassed and admit they assumed I was rich/came from money.

Lol anyone who thinks wearing JCrew equals Harvard is not someone whose opinion matters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

LOL

Do they tell you this? --> "You look like a person who is Ivy-educated and rich."

No, not that exact sentence. I have had acquaintances ask if I went to Harvard or Yale. I have had former coworkers at different companies make the statements involving silver spoons, etc. When I correct them they are usually embarrassed and admit they assumed I was rich/came from money.

Lol anyone who thinks wearing JCrew equals Harvard is not someone whose opinion matters?

And loafers. Don’t forget her loafers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

LOL

Do they tell you this? --> "You look like a person who is Ivy-educated and rich."

No, not that exact sentence. I have had acquaintances ask if I went to Harvard or Yale. I have had former coworkers at different companies make the statements involving silver spoons, etc. When I correct them they are usually embarrassed and admit they assumed I was rich/came from money.

Lol anyone who thinks wearing JCrew equals Harvard is not someone whose opinion matters?

And loafers. Don’t forget her loafers.

And Old Navy. Choice of I’ve educated CEOs

[Anonymous]

*Ivy

[Anonymous]

Oh DCUM harpies never change!

[Anonymous]

To OP, I have your similar body type. You can wear something business casual. I agree Nordstrom personal shopper is a great place to start. Ann Taylor fits me great without tailoring (size M or 8 pant, size 10 dress). Lands end pointe dresses are also great to looking professional but comfortable and come in fun colors or black and navy. Put a nice blazer from JCrew over it and it looks put together and not frumpy.

Cuyana has a great zippered leather tote.

I’m still figuring out comfortable and professional shoes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe you look just fine. After all, you got the promotion looking exactly like you look today.

+1 Far fewer people than you think actually care about looks. And people who do care - they can sod off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the PP who posted The Fold https://thefoldlondon.com/ and Cefinn https://www.cefinn.com/us/ -- any other ideas? I particularly like The Fold & wonder what else you'd recommend. Not OP, just hijacking.

You beat me to recommending The Fold. You can find less expensive but still polished dresses at MMLaFleur. Add heels (2-3 inches max- I love LK Bennett), diamond or pearl studs, a high end but not flashy (not covered in logos) handbag.

Keep your hair and nails neat. No polish or stick to neutral colors. Natural make up.

I always feel like my nails look dirty when I don’t wear polish or wear clear polish. Any tips on keeping them neat and clean looking?

Cut them and clean them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some have asked for additional info, so here goes. In terms of body type I'm 5'4 145, with a large bust. I need to learn more about what works well for women with large busts. My promotion was to executive leadership at an education association. It's not necessary for me to wear black, blue, or grey all the time. I can wear color and statement accessories. I just need pointing to some nice clothing brands, and jewelry brands. Also, I really need to get an acceptable work bag. I'm ashamed to admit I've been using a backpack. I will be interfacing with others outside of my organization a lot more, so really need to pull my look together. I have made major progress getting high quality makeup, but need help with accessories and clothing. I am also working to lose 10 pounds. Super conservative dress like twinsets is not really what I'm going for. I'd like to be more fashionable and edgy.

OP, you absolutely need to use a stylist...or at minimum go shopping with a friend whose style you like. At least 75% of looking put together is wearing clothes and styles the fit and flatter your figure. No internet stranger can tell you that based on your height and weight alone. And it's highly likely that you'll need to get things tailored, and you'll need someone knowledgeable to advise you on what needs to be done.

Beyond that, of course, hair and subtle make up. Once again, go to a make up artist and get a lesson on how to apply for your skin tone etc.

I haven't personally used a Nordstrom personal shopper, but very stylish people I know swear by them. Nordstrom is also a good department store, because they have a variety of price points and styles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the PP who posted The Fold https://thefoldlondon.com/ and Cefinn https://www.cefinn.com/us/ -- any other ideas? I particularly like The Fold & wonder what else you'd recommend. Not OP, just hijacking.

You beat me to recommending The Fold. You can find less expensive but still polished dresses at MMLaFleur. Add heels (2-3 inches max- I love LK Bennett), diamond or pearl studs, a high end but not flashy (not covered in logos) handbag.

Keep your hair and nails neat. No polish or stick to neutral colors. Natural make up.

I always feel like my nails look dirty when I don’t wear polish or wear clear polish. Any tips on keeping them neat and clean looking?

Cut them and clean them?

Scrape them across a bar of soap, then wash out with shower head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some have asked for additional info, so here goes. In terms of body type I'm 5'4 145, with a large bust. I need to learn more about what works well for women with large busts. My promotion was to executive leadership at an education association. It's not necessary for me to wear black, blue, or grey all the time. I can wear color and statement accessories. I just need pointing to some nice clothing brands, and jewelry brands. Also, I really need to get an acceptable work bag. I'm ashamed to admit I've been using a backpack. I will be interfacing with others outside of my organization a lot more, so really need to pull my look together. I have made major progress getting high quality makeup, but need help with accessories and clothing. I am also working to lose 10 pounds. Super conservative dress like twinsets is not really what I'm going for. I'd like to be more fashionable and edgy.

OP, you absolutely need to use a stylist...or at minimum go shopping with a friend whose style you like. At least 75% of looking put together is wearing clothes and styles the fit and flatter your figure. No internet stranger can tell you that based on your height and weight alone. And it's highly likely that you'll need to get things tailored, and you'll need someone knowledgeable to advise you on what needs to be done.

Beyond that, of course, hair and subtle make up. Once again, go to a make up artist and get a lesson on how to apply for your skin tone etc.

I haven't personally used a Nordstrom personal shopper, but very stylish people I know swear by them. Nordstrom is also a good department store, because they have a variety of price points and styles.

They also have great prices during the semi annual sale.

[Anonymous]

Op, at your stated weight and height (5'4 145) you could likely benefit from wearing a Spanx beneath your clothes. I say this as a woman who is the same weight as you but three inches taller.

Body slimmers or the lack of one can make or break an outfit.

Another thing, since you are busty, try purchasing minimizer bras. They are all I wear, and again make a huge difference in the way my clothes look and fit.

Wear heels at least 2-3 inches but no more than 4. I would stay away from platform heels as they can look "hoochie" quickly if not executed properly.

Neat hair and nails.

I also agree with the poster who stated keeping weight down. There are very few overweight people who can pull off looking polished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

This. We have several highly influential women executives including our CEO, who are unassuming and simple. In fact women who focus too much on grooming are viewed as “dolls” and not taken too seriously. Women in power actually look like they don’t care much for their appearance. They deliver what matters.

Please. Nancy Pelosi doesn't spend time on her appearance? Oprah doesn't spend time on her appearance? Michelle Obama? I would dare anyone to call them dolls. If you want to look frumpy and crazy, just do that. No need to denigrate people who take pride in their appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People think I am Ivy educated and rich (these couldn’t be farther from the truth). I wear a ton of J Crew, Everlane, Cuyana, and Old Navy. Always loafers or oxfords shoes (leather). Basically, I keep it simple. I wear natural look makeup. I have never had a blowout. I have a simple haircut (shoulder length bob) but my hair is straight. High end and professional comes in many forms (shapes, sizes, and colors).

This. We have several highly influential women executives including our CEO, who are unassuming and simple. In fact women who focus too much on grooming are viewed as “dolls” and not taken too seriously. Women in power actually look like they don’t care much for their appearance. They deliver what matters.

I cannot emphasize enough how true this is. The highest ranking women never look dolled up. Not frumpy , but not like they spent all day in the salon.

It’s true that no senior women look like an Instagram model. But some of us (me included) have to put in a ton of effort just to get to the “polished” looking baseline because we have bad skin, or limp/frizzy hair, or body proportions that require extensive tailoring for anything to fit... etc.... and hearing “just stop focusing so much on your appearance!” from women with none of these problems is so f***ing obnoxious.

And before anyone thinks I’m complaining about being overweight, I am 5’4” and 120lbs at 40 with two kids. I still have to spend a huge amount of money and time at the tailor to get things to fit just because of the way my body is shaped.