Visiting family with dog who scratched my kid’s face twice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell them that my rules have changed and now I will not be allowing any pets on my property. They can follow the rules or buy the house from you.

And no way would I let my child on a property where I knew there was an animal that had hurt them even once. That is pure insanity.

That can backfire. With the sibling living with the parents, there is a live-in caregiver as the parents age. Shoo away the sibling, and you need have a larger burden later.

there is no burden that OP must bear. her parents and her sibling seem to be users and assholes.

[Anonymous]

Throughout the thread I have had the feeling that there is aggression coming from the family, probably from the the sibling. The parents are stuck there. OP is paying the mortgage, little effort has been made to restrain the dog and it prevents OP from visiting. Seems like a plan to me.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get how you don’t know if it was a bite or scratch. They look totally different. If it was a scratch, probably because your brother doesn’t trim the dogs nails or train it not to jump.
If it were me, I would go and be strict about the gate thing. If it’s not working, say sorry this isn’t working, and then just check into a hotel and leave early. I wouldn’t cancel the trip based on the idea that it might not work.
Also, how long ago was this? It may be that the dog is now old and just lies around. Young dogs jump but old dogs often don’t. Also tell you mom to take the dog to pet smart to get it’s nails cut!!

[Anonymous]

The poor kid who has been bitten twice and is being given the message that their safety isn’t as important as family politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crates and gates work just fine. I did it for years with my old dogs. We don't know if the owners are on board with their own suggestion. All we have is the OP saying they probably won't.

And it's not that OP can't stay at a hotel. She won't.

It's an impasse.

Why should she pay extra to stay in a hotel?? She owns the house she wants to visit!

Most of us aren’t mega millionaires.

Irrelevant. It is someone else's home.

Op seems to think owning the house means something. It doesn't.

ummm it does. people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars and go into debt for 30 years to own one.

It is not her home. She bought it for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crates and gates work just fine. I did it for years with my old dogs. We don't know if the owners are on board with their own suggestion. All we have is the OP saying they probably won't.

And it's not that OP can't stay at a hotel. She won't.

It's an impasse.

Why should she pay extra to stay in a hotel?? She owns the house she wants to visit!

Most of us aren’t mega millionaires.

Irrelevant. It is someone else's home.

Op seems to think owning the house means something. It doesn't.

ummm it does. people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars and go into debt for 30 years to own one.

It is not her home. She bought it for someone else.

It may not be her home, but if she is paying the mortgage it is her house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crates and gates work just fine. I did it for years with my old dogs. We don't know if the owners are on board with their own suggestion. All we have is the OP saying they probably won't.

And it's not that OP can't stay at a hotel. She won't.

It's an impasse.

Why should she pay extra to stay in a hotel?? She owns the house she wants to visit!

Most of us aren’t mega millionaires.

Irrelevant. It is someone else's home.

Op seems to think owning the house means something. It doesn't.

ummm it does. people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars and go into debt for 30 years to own one.

It is not her home. She bought it for someone else.

It may not be her home, but if she is paying the mortgage it is her house.

Yay for her. So she is entitled to stay there, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I always say that kids and dogs don’t mix. I would never have a dog in my home or in any property that I own.

OP, it is time to put your foot down. Either Fido goes (permanently) or your parents need to find a new place to live.

that's an absurd overreaction. millions of kids are living happily and safely with millions of dogs. there are health and emotional benefits to living with animals, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not two different answers. The dog scratched/bit a child. A dog hurt a child and the parents have a right to avoid the dog.

Well my fat, stupid dog often jumps on top of us when we are laying on the couch and she is trying to snuggle down to nap on us. She has nails, so often, she ends up scratching us. That’s pretty different than a dog that’s being aggressive biting a kid’s face.

If I'm on my computer and ignoring him, my very lovable doodle will tap his paw on my arm to beg for a pet and his rough claws will sometimes scratch. Totally different from an aggressive dog bite. Still, if OP can't depend on her kid to leave the dog alone, then it's probably best that they not go or board the dog. However, I do think that, if it's a short visit, using crates or gates could work (my dogs would bark their heads off, which would be annoying). If OP can't depend on her kid not to let the dog out if they've been explicitly told not to do so, then OP has bigger problems.

[Anonymous]

OPs kids are 1 and 3 years old. Hard to tell a little preschooler not to do something unless you are watching very closely. What a relaxing visit !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPs kids are 1 and 3 years old. Hard to tell a little preschooler not to do something unless you are watching very closely. What a relaxing visit !

Wow, how do you all parent all day?

There are a million dangers a 1 and 3 year old could be getting into in a strange house, dog aside. Gates and crates are a good and perfectly tenable option, even just to keep everyone to limited areas of the house.

While I have issues with a dog that is scratching or biting a child, the fact that OP does not know which means her child was not supervised around an unfamiliar dog, and that is her fail, not the dog’s. While the dog owner also has a responsibility, they may not recognize that all dogs have the ability to become aggressive if provoked. An older dog would certainly growl and nip at a puppy that was misbehaving, but a puppy has a layer of fur that a child does not.

I really think this has less to do with the dog than it does that OP feels she doesn’t have lordship over her sibling, parents, the house she’s paying the mortgage for.

[Anonymous]

I have a dog that can’t be trusted around guests. When people come to visit, the dog is on a leash, in its crate, or in the fenced yard. We also spend a lot of time outside of the house being tourists and dining out. It works for us only because the dog is already crate trained and we’ve tried this set-up with in-town visitors. However, the management of it all does get a bit tiring over two days.

OP, you know your family best. If they are likely to give up on the active management, or this visit is a longer one, then you may have to sit it out.

Also, if it was a bite, that needs to be taken very seriously. Usually even a bit that does not break the skin leaves telltale marks. A dog that bites must go through remedial training with an experienced behaviorist, or it gets reinforcement for the biting behavior. In the dog’s brain, biting is an effective strategy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- your adult sibling, with the dog, lives with your parents in a house that is owned by you??

That’s what a I gathered. In that case, adult sibling should go to a dog-friendly hotel or board the dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OPs kids are 1 and 3 years old. Hard to tell a little preschooler not to do something unless you are watching very closely. What a relaxing visit !

And that is why you never, ever leave little kids alone with dogs. That is 100% on the parents not to let their kids play unsupervised with a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs kids are 1 and 3 years old. Hard to tell a little preschooler not to do something unless you are watching very closely. What a relaxing visit !

And that is why you never, ever leave little kids alone with dogs. That is 100% on the parents not to let their kids play unsupervised with a dog.

I agree. If that's too much work then that isn't the place for OP's kids. Or any other house with a dog in it. The fact that OP doesn't know if her kid got a bite or scratch shows she wasn't paying enough attention.

Would OP's kids be trying to play with the dog if it was crated?