Serious question: Why are people afraid to admit privilege?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:6 pages and only maybe two or three people answered the WHY in OP's initial post.


Because the question doesn't apply to SAT adversity points. You can admit that privilege exists but still think this is a bad and ineffective policy. If well-to-do and wealthy students are raising their SAT scores with prep and tutors, the solution should be to provide those same services to the low-income students.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:6 pages and only maybe two or three people answered the WHY in OP's initial post.


Because the question doesn't apply to SAT adversity points. You can admit that privilege exists but still think this is a bad and ineffective policy. If well-to-do and wealthy students are raising their SAT scores with prep and tutors, the solution should be to provide those same services to the low-income students.


That won't move the needle enough.

Those kids haven't grown up with 16-17 years worth of privileges that wealthier kids have.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:People won't admit it because they don't want to give it up.

Duh

How is this hard to understand?????


This is the obvious answer
Anonymous
For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My husband is an outlier in this regard - and I appreciate that. He’s tall, white, handsome, grew up UMC in a tony Boston suburb, superb education (Nobles, GW, Hopkins). He was given a winning hand at birth, and talks about his luck in life. Yes, he works hard, but acknowledges that his success comes mostly from his circumstances and peer group growing up.


GW is “superb”?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?


Everyone likes to "say" they value diversity and equality but when push comes to shove, they don't. They wring their hands over "bad" (i.e. brown) neighborhoods and schools. If they want to live in the city, they turn their nose up at DCPS and choose private. If they can't afford to send to private or live in the wealthy white enclaves they choose charter schools.

They'd rather DIE than give up job promotions to less privileged co-workers or their children's chances at admission to elite universities.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a first generation immigrant from a poor Eastern European country. I'm also white and beautiful. I had minimal struggles despite being a poor immigrant only because I'm white and beautiful. I'm saying minimal, not none, because the vast majority of my managers have been mediocre white men with low intellect, degrees from podunk universities, with no communication or writing skills. Forget about leadership skills.
Georgetown came out with a great study showing that smarter kids from disadvantaged backgrounds are worse off than white kids with lower intellect.
The trend continues, at least at my work, where I advocated for hiring some amazing candidates with proven leadership skills, MIT degrees (I'm in tech). So far, for the last 3 years, we've been hiring only mediocre white men as they show the greatest potential for teamwork.


I guarantee you that nobody but you thinks you are that beautiful, sweetie.


I was making decent money doing catalog work modeling in college (think Macy's) so I don't need your trivial guarantee. One of the PP is correct, being attractive is also a privilege. I married a successful, good looking guy from an UC family, which resulted in additional privilege. Even for men, being taller, which is a measure of attractiveness, results in better pay.
One of the smartest people in my team is a gay overweight WOC who is stuck at GS11, despite working her butt off. We had another AA woman who retired early because she was getting everyone's work done. She was in customer service and people in the industry were so upset when she left because she was the only one actually doing something and responding to their inquiries. She was never considered for a better technical position although she had the experience and skills for it. She was also the most gracious and kind person, which is unbelievable to me.
These are concrete examples of minorities who are overlooked for promotions and held behind, despite being better at the jobs they do.


This kind of thing happens all the time. There was an AA woman at my ex-husband’s federal job who was way more qualified (years, education, performance) than a man (white) who was passed over for a promotion. The guy got the promotion.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?


This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges
.


Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.


Your kids *are* immensely privileged. Wanting things to be more equal for people who aren't so lucky isn't "punishing" them.

"When you are accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression."


Exactly. You would feel like it's a punishment for your kids to go to a 50% non-white high school. That would be a way for you to check your privilege. They have EVERY OTHER ADVANTAGE. Surely they can still succeed when in a school with brown children who may need more services? Right? You aren't so sure so you keep them in enclave of white, and when they do well it's because you are all So Smart and not because of systematic oppression that you support with your choices. You feel OWED that good public school because you bought a $2M house.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband is an outlier in this regard - and I appreciate that. He’s tall, white, handsome, grew up UMC in a tony Boston suburb, superb education (Nobles, GW, Hopkins). He was given a winning hand at birth, and talks about his luck in life. Yes, he works hard, but acknowledges that his success comes mostly from his circumstances and peer group growing up.


GW is “superb”?


He got his first master’s there. And depending on the program - yes.
Anonymous
Well I went to a shitty poor public school with bad math education who didn't know what the eff they were doing (my favorite anecdote: one math teacher liked to hand back bad test scores with the acid remark "well, the world needs ditch diggers too."). As a result, I was really bad at math.

I read a lot on my own which improved my verbal score (720) but my math score was relatively low (550).

So I would benefited from something like this back then.
Anonymous
They want to believe they deserve everything they have, and that people who *don’t* have those things? Well it’s their own fault. Otherwise, good people would have to share. I e pay more for schools, universal healthcare, SNAP, etc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband is an outlier in this regard - and I appreciate that. He’s tall, white, handsome, grew up UMC in a tony Boston suburb, superb education (Nobles, GW, Hopkins). He was given a winning hand at birth, and talks about his luck in life. Yes, he works hard, but acknowledges that his success comes mostly from his circumstances and peer group growing up.


GW is “superb”?


He got his first master’s there. And depending on the program - yes.


I’ll take your word for it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?


This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.



So then you would give his spot up? Yes or no.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?


This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.



As long as you’re still fine, right?
post reply Forum Index » Off-Topic
Message Quick Reply
Go to: