Serious question: Why are people afraid to admit privilege?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is a big part of it I think-perhaps decreasing their children’s admission to a prestigious school feels to some people like “giving up your child’s admission.”

Thee are plenty of colleges to go around, just maybe not an ivy, or top 20 school. This adversity scale is not going to mean anyone’s child doesn’t go to college at all, people! Broaden your view of what schools are acceptable for your snowflake.

[Anonymous]

so many people jealous of other people that's all this is

look there is always going to be rich middle class and poor people

that's a fact of life deal with it

If you want to be rich study more, work hard, and make better choices period

yall are a bunch of jealous babies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

Your kids *are* immensely privileged. Wanting things to be more equal for people who aren't so lucky isn't "punishing" them.

"When you are accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression."

Exactly. You would feel like it's a punishment for your kids to go to a 50% non-white high school. That would be a way for you to check your privilege. They have EVERY OTHER ADVANTAGE. Surely they can still succeed when in a school with brown children who may need more services? Right? You aren't so sure so you keep them in enclave of white, and when they do well it's because you are all So Smart and not because of systematic oppression that you support with your choices. You feel OWED that good public school because you bought a $2M house.

How do you know they live in a white enclave? Perhaps they live in Brooklyn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.

This is a good point. There is enough to go around and someone getting ahead does not mean that you are being left behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is a big part of it I think-perhaps decreasing their children’s admission to a prestigious school feels to some people like “giving up your child’s admission.”

Thee are plenty of colleges to go around, just maybe not an ivy, or top 20 school. This adversity scale is not going to mean anyone’s child doesn’t go to college at all, people! Broaden your view of what schools are acceptable for your snowflake.

This is the problem, there isn't.

A LOT of companies only recruit from the best of the best and if you don't have the best on your degree, they won't even look at your resume.

That's just reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

Your kids *are* immensely privileged. Wanting things to be more equal for people who aren't so lucky isn't "punishing" them.

"When you are accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression."

Exactly. You would feel like it's a punishment for your kids to go to a 50% non-white high school. That would be a way for you to check your privilege. They have EVERY OTHER ADVANTAGE. Surely they can still succeed when in a school with brown children who may need more services? Right? You aren't so sure so you keep them in enclave of white, and when they do well it's because you are all So Smart and not because of systematic oppression that you support with your choices. You feel OWED that good public school because you bought a $2M house.

How do you know they live in a white enclave? Perhaps they live in Brooklyn.

Have you been to Brooklyn lately?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so many people jealous of other people that's all this is

look there is always going to be rich middle class and poor people

that's a fact of life deal with it

If you want to be rich study more, work hard, and make better choices period

yall are a bunch of jealous babies

You're poorly informed and cannot punctuate. Move along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.

So then you would give his spot up? Yes or no.

I think her answer was a run around to say no for either the jobs or school. It's a lot of hand wringing and a lot of lip flapping with nothing to back it up. It's a form of NIMBY.

[Anonymous]

Ok let's say it this way. Just say you are vying for a promotion with two other people. You are white and were raised UMC with all the privileges that go along with that. Your other colleagues are a.) from a poor white background and b.) black.

In your estimation, you are the best for the job (of course) but either of them would do a good job too.

Are you willing to give up your chance at the job for either of them? Yes or no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is a big part of it I think-perhaps decreasing their children’s admission to a prestigious school feels to some people like “giving up your child’s admission.”

Thee are plenty of colleges to go around, just maybe not an ivy, or top 20 school. This adversity scale is not going to mean anyone’s child doesn’t go to college at all, people! Broaden your view of what schools are acceptable for your snowflake.

This is the problem, there isn't.

A LOT of companies only recruit from the best of the best and if you don't have the best on your degree, they won't even look at your resume.

That's just reality.

Oh, you’re right, I guess all is lost for your kids if they don’t get into Duke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is a big part of it I think-perhaps decreasing their children’s admission to a prestigious school feels to some people like “giving up your child’s admission.”

Thee are plenty of colleges to go around, just maybe not an ivy, or top 20 school. This adversity scale is not going to mean anyone’s child doesn’t go to college at all, people! Broaden your view of what schools are acceptable for your snowflake.

This is the problem, there isn't.

A LOT of companies only recruit from the best of the best and if you don't have the best on your degree, they won't even look at your resume.

That's just reality.

Okay, so 1. Who cares if you work for the ABSOLUTE best company ever?
and 2. If your kid is really super qualified and the best of the best, he or she is likely to get into a top school.

But it is a competition, folks, and the field is not level, it never has been. So while you are worried about the underprivileged kid who is filling a slot, you are ignoring the more privileged kid who practically bought his way in or was lucky enough to be a legacy.

That is the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.

So then you would give his spot up? Yes or no.

I think her answer was a run around to say no for either the jobs or school. It's a lot of hand wringing and a lot of lip flapping with nothing to back it up. It's a form of NIMBY.

Her answer was not a "runaround."

She pointed out that your question has a false premise: you assume that there are only win-lose scenarios in life, in which one person wins and the other loses, which is the usual Darwinian nonsense trotted out by frightened, reactionary people who assume that a minority moving upward means that they will move downward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok let's say it this way. Just say you are vying for a promotion with two other people. You are white and were raised UMC with all the privileges that go along with that. Your other colleagues are a.) from a poor white background and b.) black.

In your estimation, you are the best for the job (of course) but either of them would do a good job too.

Are you willing to give up your chance at the job for either of them? Yes or no?

The OP is about SAT scores, not promotions.

I bet you really love that old Jesse Helms ad, the one with the white fist crumpling up the rejection letter saying, "A black guy got the job."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.

So then you would give his spot up? Yes or no.

I think her answer was a run around to say no for either the jobs or school. It's a lot of hand wringing and a lot of lip flapping with nothing to back it up. It's a form of NIMBY.

Her answer was not a "runaround."

She pointed out that your question has a false premise: you assume that there are only win-lose scenarios in life, in which one person wins and the other loses, which is the usual Darwinian nonsense trotted out by frightened, reactionary people who assume that a minority moving upward means that they will move downward.

I mean, it's true though. It's historic fact that women and minorities got passed over for admission and promotions all the time to less qualified white men. Still do, according to many. Resources are finite and it makes people want to hoard opportunity as a consequence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone who admits privilege and wants for things to be equal, would you give your jobs (which you received due to privilege) to an underprivileged person? Would you give up your child's college admission so that an under privileged person could go in their stead?

This is the problem with his conversation. It is NOT a us versus them game. I don't have to give up my kid's college admission. He is talented, bright, and driven kid and will get into any number of good colleges. If he gets rejected from his first choice: for all I know, a smarter, more privileged person could be "taking his spot," not a less privileged one.

We WANT to believe it is the unqualified minority who is taking our spots because it is hard to believe our kids just didn't make the cut for some reason.

But either way, my kid will be FINE.

And I do not need to give up my job. What I can do is really i am in a competitive field. Sometimes people with better or worse dualities than me will get the promotions I feel I deserved.

Either way, I will be fine.

There really is enough to go around.

So then you would give his spot up? Yes or no.

I think her answer was a run around to say no for either the jobs or school. It's a lot of hand wringing and a lot of lip flapping with nothing to back it up. It's a form of NIMBY.

Her answer was not a "runaround."

She pointed out that your question has a false premise: you assume that there are only win-lose scenarios in life, in which one person wins and the other loses, which is the usual Darwinian nonsense trotted out by frightened, reactionary people who assume that a minority moving upward means that they will move downward.

DP. I didn’t quite read it that way. I read it more as, I’m privileged and I’ll be “fine” (whatever that means) in all circumstances. That’s a subtler form of Darwinism.