Serious question: Why are people afraid to admit privilege?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

Your kids *are* immensely privileged. Wanting things to be more equal for people who aren't so lucky isn't "punishing" them.

"When you are accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first generation immigrant from a poor Eastern European country. I'm also white and beautiful. I had minimal struggles despite being a poor immigrant only because I'm white and beautiful. I'm saying minimal, not none, because the vast majority of my managers have been mediocre white men with low intellect, degrees from podunk universities, with no communication or writing skills. Forget about leadership skills.
Georgetown came out with a great study showing that smarter kids from disadvantaged backgrounds are worse off than white kids with lower intellect.
The trend continues, at least at my work, where I advocated for hiring some amazing candidates with proven leadership skills, MIT degrees (I'm in tech). So far, for the last 3 years, we've been hiring only mediocre white men as they show the greatest potential for teamwork.

I guarantee you that nobody but you thinks you are that beautiful, sweetie.

I was making decent money doing catalog work modeling in college (think Macy's) so I don't need your trivial guarantee. One of the PP is correct, being attractive is also a privilege. I married a successful, good looking guy from an UC family, which resulted in additional privilege. Even for men, being taller, which is a measure of attractiveness, results in better pay.
One of the smartest people in my team is a gay overweight WOC who is stuck at GS11, despite working her butt off. We had another AA woman who retired early because she was getting everyone's work done. She was in customer service and people in the industry were so upset when she left because she was the only one actually doing something and responding to their inquiries. She was never considered for a better technical position although she had the experience and skills for it. She was also the most gracious and kind person, which is unbelievable to me.
These are concrete examples of minorities who are overlooked for promotions and held behind, despite being better at the jobs they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of bean-counting who is privileged in what way, our society should be expending those resources making sure that there is equality of opportunity, not of outcome. Scales, affirmative action, etc., are all attempts to create equality of outcome in an unjust system. Instead, we need to make sure all children regardless of socioeconomic or racial makeup have access to childcare, healthcare, and excellent schools.

This is one component of what you're talking about though.

People talk about HYSP like it's some magical portal to a better life. And you know what? For a lot of people it IS. It's a precious resource that will change some people's lives.

Those are the people who should get to go, not the Jared Kushners of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

Your kids *are* immensely privileged. Wanting things to be more equal for people who aren't so lucky isn't "punishing" them.

"When you are accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression."

You're missing the point. That commenter was saying that she realizes she WOULD have to give up a lot of their privileges or her kids would anyway if we started moving towards true equality. And guess what, she doesn't want to, surprise surprise. No one wants to. That's her point entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

No one wants to punish you or your children for being (yes) immensely privileged. Efforts to level the playing field a bit so that all of the immense privileges your children enjoy, which surely surpass those of 99 percent of American children, are not an effort to punish them.

[Anonymous]

I can tell you that as a plain woman, beauty is an IMMENSE privilege, probably the biggest one there is, but there is no accounting for it at all.

[Anonymous]

6 pages and only maybe two or three people answered the WHY in OP's initial post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

I'd be really curious to hear your opinion about the US tax scale. Would you be willing to revert to the 1950s scale? Why or why not? How do you feel about inheritance taxes? Should your children be able to remain INCREDIBLY privileged (how do you not realize that? SMH), and their grandchildren, too, simply because you and your husband started out on third base?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

I'd be really curious to hear your opinion about the US tax scale. Would you be willing to revert to the 1950s scale? Why or why not? How do you feel about inheritance taxes? Should your children be able to remain INCREDIBLY privileged (how do you not realize that? SMH), and their grandchildren, too, simply because you and your husband started out on third base?

Well the PP lives in NY. I can tell you, she did NOT come out well in this latest tax change! The loss of SALT deduction to people making close to a million would be huge.

[Anonymous]

^ It doesn't sound like they live in city limits but NYS is also notorious for having some of the highest state income taxes in the nation.

So she probably pays way more in taxes than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of bean-counting who is privileged in what way, our society should be expending those resources making sure that there is equality of opportunity, not of outcome. Scales, affirmative action, etc., are all attempts to create equality of outcome in an unjust system. Instead, we need to make sure all children regardless of socioeconomic or racial makeup have access to childcare, healthcare, and excellent schools.

This is one component of what you're talking about though.

People talk about HYSP like it's some magical portal to a better life. And you know what? For a lot of people it IS. It's a precious resource that will change some people's lives.

Those are the people who should get to go, not the Jared Kushners of the world.

I’m not 100% sure that I understand you but how about making admission to somewhere like Harvard based on academic merits only, without accounting for legacy, expensive extracurricular activities that only rich people can afford, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the expectation that you will work to make things more equal.

If you are a privileged person, you will give up some privileges.

Bingo. No one is willing to do what needs to be done for this to happen. So no one wants to admit they are "over" privileged or that their children are and that it's not fair.


Here's our situation. We live in a 2 million house in a close in neighborhood to NYC. My husband and I make over 750k between us. Our children go to great public schools but we could easily send them to private if we wanted. They travel the world at least 4 times a year and they are growing up with private ski lessons, tennis lessons, swim lessons, and on and on. They're all under 10 and each have over 200k in college savings already. No we're not yachting around in the Mediterranean and my daughter can't grow up to be a professional equestrian. But I'm sure most people would consider them "over" privileged and would love to punish them in some way for getting things they lack.

I'd be really curious to hear your opinion about the US tax scale. Would you be willing to revert to the 1950s scale? Why or why not? How do you feel about inheritance taxes? Should your children be able to remain INCREDIBLY privileged (how do you not realize that? SMH), and their grandchildren, too, simply because you and your husband started out on third base?

Well the PP lives in NY. I can tell you, she did NOT come out well in this latest tax change! The loss of SALT deduction to people making close to a million would be huge.

Good. I'm so sick of Ayn Randian rich people whining about the fact that they can't keep every last damn penny of their money or that they're expected to do anything that might assist other people in society.

It would be great if they'd all just set up their own little tax-free Lord of the Flies island, where they could scream MINE MINE MINE at each other all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of bean-counting who is privileged in what way, our society should be expending those resources making sure that there is equality of opportunity, not of outcome. Scales, affirmative action, etc., are all attempts to create equality of outcome in an unjust system. Instead, we need to make sure all children regardless of socioeconomic or racial makeup have access to childcare, healthcare, and excellent schools.

This is one component of what you're talking about though.

People talk about HYSP like it's some magical portal to a better life. And you know what? For a lot of people it IS. It's a precious resource that will change some people's lives.

Those are the people who should get to go, not the Jared Kushners of the world.

I’m not 100% sure that I understand you but how about making admission to somewhere like Harvard based on academic merits only, without accounting for legacy, expensive extracurricular activities that only rich people can afford, etc?

Because the supply of freshman seats is so limited, the # of qualified kids is proportionately much higher. That's why it's becoming more and more of a lottery each year. You could easily fill a freshman class with first generation academically gifted kids. If Harvard and those other schools really truly committed to equality, they would stop admitting legacy students and other "hooks" besides low income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that as a plain woman, beauty is an IMMENSE privilege, probably the biggest one there is, but there is no accounting for it at all.

x 10000000

[Anonymous]

People won't admit it because they don't want to give it up.

Duh

How is this hard to understand?????