Why do married women look so sad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps the posters responding to OP with such venom are the ones in these unhappy marriages.

Nah. People are just chuckling that she would generalize that all married women are unhappy based on a few observations of women at a shopping mall.

OP here: I never, not once, said that. So I don't know why you would completely twist what I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps the posters responding to OP with such venom are the ones in these unhappy marriages.

Nah. People are just chuckling that she would generalize that all married women are unhappy based on a few observations of women at a shopping mall.

OP here: I never, not once, said that. So I don't know why you would completely twist what I said.

It's the title of the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps the posters responding to OP with such venom are the ones in these unhappy marriages.

Nah. People are just chuckling that she would generalize that all married women are unhappy based on a few observations of women at a shopping mall.

OP here: I never, not once, said that. So I don't know why you would completely twist what I said.

New Poster here. Your question wasn't "Why do some unmarried women look so sad?" You did make the generalization.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the generalization was that every woman that I saw at the mall look sad. That was the tittle of the thread. I never said all married women are said, and as I mentioned before, I came here because I think I'm going to get engaged soon and I'm a little freaked out. I wanted to ask married women to give me a little insight so I don't swear off men and marriage altogether. I wanted to erase that bad impression. Can you guys try not to attack people?

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. You sound like you may be having cold feet. Or that maybe you know, deep down, that this guy is not the right one.

There's a good website for your questions and concerns: www.theregoesthebride.com. I think you'll find the folks there to be much more welcoming to you than we have been here. And do read Mrs. Kimble. But OP, cut your losses. Aside from me and a couple other posters, no one here is going to give you any insight. Except on the Sex and Relationships Forum, we all have perfect marriages, and we get extremely upset if anyone says that we don't. Never mind the fact that some of the people who flamed you on this thread are probably complaining about their marriages on the other forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let me get this right. You don't think there is any parallel to calling someone a troll or snort, real life? When you do this to a complete stranger, how do you think she would talk to her own husband or kids? Name calling as an adult shows an immaturity level. I don't have to know her to believe that she has problem got an attitude problem with most people she knows.

Whereas making grossly inaccurate leaps of (il)logic based on a one line post - and calling someone else's marriage unhappy and husband miserable - that's mature? first impressions are right most of the time. You were first to jump down people's throats because you don't agree with something that was clearly an observation. Now, you can disagree, but do it in a manner that offers or conveys a different point of view. You were angry when you jumped and hopefully you teach your kids to use their words in a constructive manner.

Excellent, now you're a parenting coach, too, in addition to a marriage counselor. What would we do without you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let me get this right. You don't think there is any parallel to calling someone a troll or snort, real life? When you do this to a complete stranger, how do you think she would talk to her own husband or kids? Name calling as an adult shows an immaturity level. I don't have to know her to believe that she has problem got an attitude problem with most people she knows.

Whereas making grossly inaccurate leaps of (il)logic based on a one line post - and calling someone else's marriage unhappy and husband miserable - that's mature?

first impressions are right most of the time. You were first to jump down people's throats because you don't agree with something that was clearly an observation. Now, you can disagree, but do it in a manner that offers or conveys a different point of view. You were angry when you jumped and hopefully you teach your kids to use their words in a constructive manner.

Excellent, now you're a parenting coach, too, in addition to a marriage counselor. What would we do without you? You're probably the same kind of poster that has nothing to do all day, but try to jump from thread to thread stirring things up. Way to go troll.

[Anonymous]

Tired ---> look sad
Old ---> look sad
Not trying to catch anyone's eye ---> look sad
Focused on the task ---> look sad
Want to get back to their kids ---> look sad
Want to keep their kids' hands off the goods ---> look peeved

So maybe these married womens are tired because they're working+, they're older and not trying to 'catch anyone's eye,' they're focused on the task and just want to get back to whatever else they were doing. And they don't give a crap so much what anyone thinks of them--this ain't the social Safeway anymore!

How's that for a possible explanation? (If, in fact, married women do look sadder.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, the generalization was that every woman that I saw at the mall look sad. That was the tittle of the thread. I never said all married women are said, and as I mentioned before, I came here because I think I'm going to get engaged soon and I'm a little freaked out. I wanted to ask married women to give me a little insight so I don't swear off men and marriage altogether. I wanted to erase that bad impression. Can you guys try not to attack people?

You think you're going to get engaged soon??? AND you are afraid the sight of "sad" looking married women at the mall is going to make you swear off men??? Whaaa??? Perhaps wait until AFTER he pops the question before you start swearing him off.

[Anonymous]

As a happily married woman (most of the time), I am not of the opinion that OP is a troll or that she has said anything offensive. I think she asked a fair question, and a lot of people are getting overly-defensive and nasty, and that makes me wonder about what may be going on with them and their marriages. I also thing that OP came to the wrong place to ask this question. She should probably go to a website for women with cold feet or broken engagements or contemplating breaking an engagement and talk to people similarly situated to her. I already gave her the URL for that website. This seems pretty pointless to me at this point (not to be redundant). But hey, no one's ever stopped me from continuing to argue with someone once my hot-button had been pushed, so carry on if you like. But I think OP should cut her losses and go the other site.

[Anonymous]

HUH????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HUH????

You're not getting the Pp. That is a shame. You really added alot with HUH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a happily married woman (most of the time), I am not of the opinion that OP is a troll or that she has said anything offensive. I think she asked a fair question, and a lot of people are getting overly-defensive and nasty, and that makes me wonder about what may be going on with them and their marriages. I also thing that OP came to the wrong place to ask this question. She should probably go to a website for women with cold feet or broken engagements or contemplating breaking an engagement and talk to people similarly situated to her. I already gave her the URL for that website. This seems pretty pointless to me at this point (not to be redundant). But hey, no one's ever stopped me from continuing to argue with someone once my hot-button had been pushed, so carry on if you like. But I think OP should cut her losses and go the other site.

Oh, I don't think it was offensive, and "fair" or "unfair" are basically irrelevant. I really just thought it was a goofy question based on one weekend's observations of a few women at the mall. Her original post invited defensive responses.