Reflections from an aging soccer dad

[Anonymous]

Most girls of elementary school age in my well off burb just do not have stamina to be effective for a whole game. We do soccer only as a supplement for other sport and my kids run circles around other girls towards the end of the game. Mostly it is because we run about 2 miles a day and have a rule to run up any hills when we do our daily walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^agree. All the A team players from my son’s U9 year quit the sport when they got demoted a few years later.

Curious as to why they quit. Bruised egos, other interests, not playing with the same group of players, ...? What I realize as an adult, is that I miss seeing a group of kids develop together as a team over multiple seasons with little roster tweaks. My kids dabbled in soccer and moved on to sports they prefer. However, these one year / season teams lack something in my mind and heart. Maybe it's the lack of support / unity around a club. What I mean is, that everyone at all levels is cheering on and commited to that club, attends the club's other level and age games to cheer them on. Right now it's like each kid brings their own cheerleaders (e.g. mom/dad). Something is just ... lacking.

I count my son in the group of A team kids who quit soccer. He started club soccer at 6 (we now live in California). He trained for 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day 2 times a week and one or sometimes two games on a weekend. During tournaments he had 3 or 4 games a weekend. His coaches were fantastic (former college players who had sons on the team, and we paid very little since dads were coaching). It was great from ages 6 to 8. The team dissolved when the main coach left and my son joined a new team. He wanted to try other sports so he started playing basketball and baseball. We saw that at by 10 and 11 my son wasn't the best on the new soccer team anymore. He liked soccer but no longer loved it. It became tedious to go to tournaments all weekend. We realized he didn't have the determination to stay on the A team so encouraged him to play other sports starting when he was 9 or 10. We clearly saw the difference in treatment between the A team and the B and C teams and honestly didn't think it was worth the time or money for him to be on the B or C team - since he was losing interest in soccer anyways. He quit soccer for good at 11.
He picked up basketball and baseball and did really well in both. There are overlap skills in both sports with soccer (but more so with basketball). He goes to a small private school where they have 3 school basketball teams for each grade 6-8. He used to get attention from playing soccer in the lower grades, now he likes being part of the basketball team and the school community coming to watch basketball. He loves the community feel in Little League baseball. He hangs around the fields even if his team isn't playing with neighborhood boys to watch their friends play. It is such a different feel than club soccer. He is 12, which is such a fun year in Little League. Since you register in your league by neighborhood and/or school, we have met so many neighbors or parents of classmates. We spent 3 years of club soccer with the same tight knit parents. We traveled together, spent hours and hours watching soccer practices and games together and now I am not in contact with any of them. I ran into one parent at Costco and she said she never talks to any of the other parents either. Her kid isn't playing either, he switched to water polo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most girls of elementary school age in my well off burb just do not have stamina to be effective for a whole game. We do soccer only as a supplement for other sport and my kids run circles around other girls towards the end of the game. Mostly it is because we run about 2 miles a day and have a rule to run up any hills when we do our daily walk.

But are they better at soccer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

and now Boys ECNL.

ECNL is not the place to be for boys. DA is still in vogue. Sure it may fade, but the number of players DA sends to Division 1 of NCAA speaks for itself and the level of competition far exceeds anything ECNL could ever produce being basically a Carolinas-only league. Add to that, the fact that DA is sanctioned by the United States Soccer Federation. DA may go away or be replaced but it will be something that is a refinement of DA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most girls of elementary school age in my well off burb just do not have stamina to be effective for a whole game. We do soccer only as a supplement for other sport and my kids run circles around other girls towards the end of the game. Mostly it is because we run about 2 miles a day and have a rule to run up any hills when we do our daily walk.

But are they better at soccer?

This is a silly argument. To be an effective soccer player, you need to be smart and skilled, tactical and technical. But none of that matters if you can't physically GET TO THE BALL. Whether because you are incredibly fast and have no endurance so can make a run, but only once or twice, or because you simply aren't fit enough. And there are plenty of players (at least on the girls side) at high levels (ECNL/DA) who have those issues at times. Especially in DA older age groups with limited substitution, the fitness absolutely matters.

So at age 11, worry about your technical skills. If you don't have them you won't make it very far in soccer. But most soccer practices even at high levels involve a lot of standing around. (HP is great because it is active almost all the time, by contract.) So if you want to make it very far in soccer, ALSO do something else to supplement your fitness -- whether it's running, swimming, going to the gym, basketball in the winter, etc. It isn't either/or at the higher levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and now Boys ECNL.

ECNL is not the place to be for boys. DA is still in vogue. Sure it may fade, but the number of players DA sends to Division 1 of NCAA speaks for itself and the level of competition far exceeds anything ECNL could ever produce being basically a Carolinas-only league. Add to that, the fact that DA is sanctioned by the United States Soccer Federation. DA may go away or be replaced but it will be something that is a refinement of DA.

Huh? ECNL is a national league.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and now Boys ECNL.

ECNL is not the place to be for boys. DA is still in vogue. Sure it may fade, but the number of players DA sends to Division 1 of NCAA speaks for itself and the level of competition far exceeds anything ECNL could ever produce being basically a Carolinas-only league. Add to that, the fact that DA is sanctioned by the United States Soccer Federation. DA may go away or be replaced but it will be something that is a refinement of DA.

Huh? ECNL is a national league.

For DMV teams the heavy concentration of Carolinas-based teams is problematic.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Question from a happy parent. My 11yo kid has been playing for the same club for years. He is not a superstar but he easily made A team every year. His team is doing very well, winning a lot of games in league and tournaments. He’s happy and committed. I can’t think of any reason to move him, but can’t help wondering if I missed something in the big picture. I am not looking at scholarships or pro probabilities, even though my kid aspires to be one. I just thought it’d be nice to have a hobby and some friends and maybe a boost to college admissions. Any advice?

Things will change a lot in the next few years. If he’s happy I don’t even understand why you are posting, humble brags aside.

If he’s not doing a lot of work in his own in coming years, he may not stay on the A team and if that hurts his ego then he might lose the love. It’s often harder for kids that have everything go their way early in their sports career to handle failure down the road.

Thanks for your advice. What would you recommend he does on his own time? Running? Clinics?

Footskills, footskills, footskills.

Running is not a skill.

Running is not a skill? Funny. Spoken like a lazy player whose teammates complain about never getting back to play defense. Yes - foot skills AND conditioning. Soccer is an athletic sport, it is not a video game or golf. You need to be fast, quick, and have stamina - better than the other person to have the best chance at the greatest success. Running is a skill. The more efficient you become at it, the less energy it takes and the quicker you can move. This also includes flexibility, agility, and explosive power Let the PPs kid not train physically and just do foot skills, while your kid does both. I know whose kid will be selected 9 times out of 10 … yours.

In the end the kid who worked on soccer in playing soccer and the kid who worked on running isn't:

http://www.espn.com/soccer/club/central-coast-mariners/5325/blog/post/3618449/usain-bolts-professional-soccer-debut-delivered-on-the-hype-but-not-technique

If you want to see this in person, go to any HS soccer game. Around here, each team might have 6 - 8 really good club soccer players, and the balance will be the best athlete's the coach could find that were not playing another sport. You can see the difference immediately on the field between the players with good technical skills and the kids that are fast and strong but have no real skills.

Well, it is apparent that the responders to my post don’t have very good reading skills. I did not say to not work on foot skills. I said that running (I.e. form and stamina) is a skill too and that those that forget soccer is a sport and not just a dribbling and juggling and trapping and shooting exercise are naive. Let me repeat so that the simpletons get it: work on BOTH foot skills AND physical training. Dummies.

The context was for an 11 year old. Your advice within that context is stupid.

If fitness is a problem then certainly running can help a player get fit. Beyond general fitness elementary and middle school kids should focus their efforts on soccer specific skills if they wish to improve in soccer.

High School age kids may wish to do some strength and conditioning during the off season or down time. But to otherwise work on "running" even in concert with soccer training when overall fitness is not an issue is a waste of time. Well run, high intense soccer practices should be enough to keep a player fit. If your player is fit the focus should primarily be on soccer skills.

Good luck with your slow, out of shape, but technically skilled kid(s). Also, 11 year olds get older. Start good habits early. This is my last post on this sub-topic, as I am done arguing with someone who just doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^agree. All the A team players from my son’s U9 year quit the sport when they got demoted a few years later.

Curious as to why they quit. Bruised egos, other interests, not playing with the same group of players, ...? What I realize as an adult, is that I miss seeing a group of kids develop together as a team over multiple seasons with little roster tweaks. My kids dabbled in soccer and moved on to sports they prefer. However, these one year / season teams lack something in my mind and heart. Maybe it's the lack of support / unity around a club. What I mean is, that everyone at all levels is cheering on and commited to that club, attends the club's other level and age games to cheer them on. Right now it's like each kid brings their own cheerleaders (e.g. mom/dad). Something is just ... lacking.

I count my son in the group of A team kids who quit soccer. He started club soccer at 6 (we now live in California). He trained for 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day 2 times a week and one or sometimes two games on a weekend. During tournaments he had 3 or 4 games a weekend. His coaches were fantastic (former college players who had sons on the team, and we paid very little since dads were coaching). It was great from ages 6 to 8. The team dissolved when the main coach left and my son joined a new team. He wanted to try other sports so he started playing basketball and baseball. We saw that at by 10 and 11 my son wasn't the best on the new soccer team anymore. He liked soccer but no longer loved it. It became tedious to go to tournaments all weekend. We realized he didn't have the determination to stay on the A team so encouraged him to play other sports starting when he was 9 or 10. We clearly saw the difference in treatment between the A team and the B and C teams and honestly didn't think it was worth the time or money for him to be on the B or C team - since he was losing interest in soccer anyways. He quit soccer for good at 11.
He picked up basketball and baseball and did really well in both. There are overlap skills in both sports with soccer (but more so with basketball). He goes to a small private school where they have 3 school basketball teams for each grade 6-8. He used to get attention from playing soccer in the lower grades, now he likes being part of the basketball team and the school community coming to watch basketball. He loves the community feel in Little League baseball. He hangs around the fields even if his team isn't playing with neighborhood boys to watch their friends play. It is such a different feel than club soccer. He is 12, which is such a fun year in Little League. Since you register in your league by neighborhood and/or school, we have met so many neighbors or parents of classmates. We spent 3 years of club soccer with the same tight knit parents. We traveled together, spent hours and hours watching soccer practices and games together and now I am not in contact with any of them. I ran into one parent at Costco and she said she never talks to any of the other parents either. Her kid isn't playing either, he switched to water polo.

Your kid quit the sport because they were no longer the best player on the team? I guess that’s for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and now Boys ECNL.

ECNL is not the place to be for boys. DA is still in vogue. Sure it may fade, but the number of players DA sends to Division 1 of NCAA speaks for itself and the level of competition far exceeds anything ECNL could ever produce being basically a Carolinas-only league. Add to that, the fact that DA is sanctioned by the United States Soccer Federation. DA may go away or be replaced but it will be something that is a refinement of DA.

Huh? ECNL is a national league.

That has conferences...that for DMV teams would be part of the Mid Atlantic Conference includes clubs from NC/SC. MD teams belong to the Northeast Conference.

It is only National for playoffs and showcases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^agree. All the A team players from my son’s U9 year quit the sport when they got demoted a few years later.

Curious as to why they quit. Bruised egos, other interests, not playing with the same group of players, ...? What I realize as an adult, is that I miss seeing a group of kids develop together as a team over multiple seasons with little roster tweaks. My kids dabbled in soccer and moved on to sports they prefer. However, these one year / season teams lack something in my mind and heart. Maybe it's the lack of support / unity around a club. What I mean is, that everyone at all levels is cheering on and commited to that club, attends the club's other level and age games to cheer them on. Right now it's like each kid brings their own cheerleaders (e.g. mom/dad). Something is just ... lacking.

I count my son in the group of A team kids who quit soccer. He started club soccer at 6 (we now live in California). He trained for 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day 2 times a week and one or sometimes two games on a weekend. During tournaments he had 3 or 4 games a weekend. His coaches were fantastic (former college players who had sons on the team, and we paid very little since dads were coaching). It was great from ages 6 to 8. The team dissolved when the main coach left and my son joined a new team. He wanted to try other sports so he started playing basketball and baseball. We saw that at by 10 and 11 my son wasn't the best on the new soccer team anymore. He liked soccer but no longer loved it. It became tedious to go to tournaments all weekend. We realized he didn't have the determination to stay on the A team so encouraged him to play other sports starting when he was 9 or 10. We clearly saw the difference in treatment between the A team and the B and C teams and honestly didn't think it was worth the time or money for him to be on the B or C team - since he was losing interest in soccer anyways. He quit soccer for good at 11.
He picked up basketball and baseball and did really well in both. There are overlap skills in both sports with soccer (but more so with basketball). He goes to a small private school where they have 3 school basketball teams for each grade 6-8. He used to get attention from playing soccer in the lower grades, now he likes being part of the basketball team and the school community coming to watch basketball. He loves the community feel in Little League baseball. He hangs around the fields even if his team isn't playing with neighborhood boys to watch their friends play. It is such a different feel than club soccer. He is 12, which is such a fun year in Little League. Since you register in your league by neighborhood and/or school, we have met so many neighbors or parents of classmates. We spent 3 years of club soccer with the same tight knit parents. We traveled together, spent hours and hours watching soccer practices and games together and now I am not in contact with any of them. I ran into one parent at Costco and she said she never talks to any of the other parents either. Her kid isn't playing either, he switched to water polo.

Your kid quit the sport because they were no longer the best player on the team? I guess that’s for the best.

He realized he was getting less playing time. Then he was really sick for ten days and the next game back he played he didn't start. He was burning out and didn't want to spend all his time on soccer. We offered to pay for extra training, which he declined. I think he was tired of spending every weekend playing soccer. We weren't willing to pay for club soccer if he wasn't willing to put in effort.. If he were going all out and a B team was the best he could make, we would support that. No way would I spend all that time and money for him to coast and play on the B team. I saw the difference in the treatment and club resources for the A team. I can picture him playing in a men's league for fun when he is an adult. We went to the Costa Rica last summer and he had a blast playing a pick up game with local kids. In the end, I am glad he played club, but weare all so glad he quit when he did. He has had a great time playing other sports.

[Anonymous]

So many cases of loss of interest when not on the "A" team.

Every kid who is not placed in honors or AP courses should lose interest in school?

[Anonymous]

At the end of the day you do right by your kid and if they’re not that into it anymore, that’s okay. Good on you. I’ve seen more than enough of parents forcing their kids to suffer through a sport just to say “he/she plays travel”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many cases of loss of interest when not on the "A" team.

Every kid who is not placed in honors or AP courses should lose interest in school?

They must’ve been more interested in the status than the sport itself. It’s a win for the game tbh, and peace of mind for the parents/kids. Passion should not be restricted to the level of play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and now Boys ECNL.

ECNL is not the place to be for boys. DA is still in vogue. Sure it may fade, but the number of players DA sends to Division 1 of NCAA speaks for itself and the level of competition far exceeds anything ECNL could ever produce being basically a Carolinas-only league. Add to that, the fact that DA is sanctioned by the United States Soccer Federation. DA may go away or be replaced but it will be something that is a refinement of DA.

Huh? ECNL is a national league.

Exactly, and it's a great place to play for boys who still want to play high school. I don't get why some poster on this board puts it down every single time it comes up.