Reflections from an aging soccer dad

[Anonymous]

My son is aging out of youth travel soccer this year, and as I look around, I realize the same game keeps getting played on parents, over and over again. I was making a list the other day with my son on how many different leagues he'd played in, all of which we were told was where the 'best' players and coaches were.

DA
EDP
Super Y
CCL
ERL
National League

and now Boys ECNL.

Every single one of those leagues was sold to us (parents and player) as being the best, the future, the place a club and player needed to be. It's literally close to one new 'have to be in it' league per year over the last 10 years. Each one had clubs clamoring to be a founding club in the DMV, and each one was either abandoned or became a backwater within a couple years of its founding. At every iteration, the costs got a little higher, the travel commitment went up, and the need to be in Disney or Dallas or wherever for a tournament went from yearly to almost quarterly.

Just look at the DA - clubs were killing each other to get the designation, some clubs lost their Academy status locally, then the whole pre-Academy thing for the U12's, and now - poof, everyone over to Boys ECNL. I am so glad to be leaving this chaotic environment. It has become clear to me over time that all of this re-organizing and coming and going of leagues really has nothing to do with developing kids and everything to do with more money and less accountability for coaches and clubs.

The amazing thing to me as I look at my son's schedule for the spring it has the same teams that were in NCSL Division 1 when he was U10!

[Anonymous]

I’m very much looking forward to aging out of all of this too. My DS has two more years and I honestly keep hoping he switches to basketball. Although that’s probably the same?

[Anonymous]

Yes, everything you said was on point. And also the latest "developmental" fad in soccer, like futsal. My DS plays futsal, so I'm not against it. However, not the league, not playing futsal or not, none of it is the magic potion that will turn our little darlings in Messis.

And let's face it: what's wrong with that? Can't a kid just play a team sport to play it? For all the other extra benefits of team sports?

[Anonymous]

Just want to thank OP for taking the time to share their perspective. The insight of a parent who has put the years in is invaluable. The ? I have for OP is would you have your son do it again? Is it worth all the family time, money and time away from other endeavors?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is all too true, but the alternative was rec or a low level travel league where the competitive spirit to play with and against better players would have been stymied. US Soccer could take care of this in a more organized way, but doubt that has ever been their priority. A few more year and my daughter will be out of all this too. I'll miss watching her play, but not the rest of it.

[Anonymous]

My middle school daughter was just admitted to an elite private school in great part because of her soccer ability. I can't wait to put high level soccer and all this insanity behind us. She's just going to play on her school team going forward. All this madness of missing every holiday weekend, practicing 4 days a week, driving the entire DMV and beyond. Done. I am over it and so is she. She told me that she wants to try squash or softball next year.

[Anonymous]

This thread reminded me of an article I read last year....
https://www.socceramerica.com/publications/article/76536/a-soccer-parent-for-20-years-what-ill-miss-most.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is aging out of youth travel soccer this year, and as I look around, I realize the same game keeps getting played on parents, over and over again. I was making a list the other day with my son on how many different leagues he'd played in, all of which we were told was where the 'best' players and coaches were.

DA
EDP
Super Y
CCL
ERL
National League

and now Boys ECNL.

Every single one of those leagues was sold to us (parents and player) as being the best, the future, the place a club and player needed to be. It's literally close to one new 'have to be in it' league per year over the last 10 years. Each one had clubs clamoring to be a founding club in the DMV, and each one was either abandoned or became a backwater within a couple years of its founding. At every iteration, the costs got a little higher, the travel commitment went up, and the need to be in Disney or Dallas or wherever for a tournament went from yearly to almost quarterly.

Just look at the DA - clubs were killing each other to get the designation, some clubs lost their Academy status locally, then the whole pre-Academy thing for the U12's, and now - poof, everyone over to Boys ECNL. I am so glad to be leaving this chaotic environment. It has become clear to me over time that all of this re-organizing and coming and going of leagues really has nothing to do with developing kids and everything to do with more money and less accountability for coaches and clubs.

The amazing thing to me as I look at my son's schedule for the spring it has the same teams that were in NCSL Division 1 when he was U10!

I thought this was going to be a good post, but you really lost me there.

Everyone over to the boys ECNL? No offense but wtf are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is aging out of youth travel soccer this year, and as I look around, I realize the same game keeps getting played on parents, over and over again. I was making a list the other day with my son on how many different leagues he'd played in, all of which we were told was where the 'best' players and coaches were.

DA
EDP
Super Y
CCL
ERL
National League

and now Boys ECNL.

Every single one of those leagues was sold to us (parents and player) as being the best, the future, the place a club and player needed to be. It's literally close to one new 'have to be in it' league per year over the last 10 years. Each one had clubs clamoring to be a founding club in the DMV, and each one was either abandoned or became a backwater within a couple years of its founding. At every iteration, the costs got a little higher, the travel commitment went up, and the need to be in Disney or Dallas or wherever for a tournament went from yearly to almost quarterly.

Just look at the DA - clubs were killing each other to get the designation, some clubs lost their Academy status locally, then the whole pre-Academy thing for the U12's, and now - poof, everyone over to Boys ECNL. I am so glad to be leaving this chaotic environment. It has become clear to me over time that all of this re-organizing and coming and going of leagues really has nothing to do with developing kids and everything to do with more money and less accountability for coaches and clubs.

The amazing thing to me as I look at my son's schedule for the spring it has the same teams that were in NCSL Division 1 when he was U10!

I thought this was going to be a good post, but you really lost me there.

Everyone over to the boys ECNL? No offense but wtf are you talking about?

He is probably talking about Loudoun boys' program that went from NCSL to CCL to DA to ECNL. McLean had a roughly similar path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is aging out of youth travel soccer this year, and as I look around, I realize the same game keeps getting played on parents, over and over again. I was making a list the other day with my son on how many different leagues he'd played in, all of which we were told was where the 'best' players and coaches were.

DA
EDP
Super Y
CCL
ERL
National League

and now Boys ECNL.

Every single one of those leagues was sold to us (parents and player) as being the best, the future, the place a club and player needed to be. It's literally close to one new 'have to be in it' league per year over the last 10 years. Each one had clubs clamoring to be a founding club in the DMV, and each one was either abandoned or became a backwater within a couple years of its founding. At every iteration, the costs got a little higher, the travel commitment went up, and the need to be in Disney or Dallas or wherever for a tournament went from yearly to almost quarterly.

Just look at the DA - clubs were killing each other to get the designation, some clubs lost their Academy status locally, then the whole pre-Academy thing for the U12's, and now - poof, everyone over to Boys ECNL. I am so glad to be leaving this chaotic environment. It has become clear to me over time that all of this re-organizing and coming and going of leagues really has nothing to do with developing kids and everything to do with more money and less accountability for coaches and clubs.

The amazing thing to me as I look at my son's schedule for the spring it has the same teams that were in NCSL Division 1 when he was U10!

I thought this was going to be a good post, but you really lost me there.

Everyone over to the boys ECNL? No offense but wtf are you talking about?

He is probably talking about Loudoun boys' program that went from NCSL to CCL to DA to ECNL. McLean had a roughly similar path.

BRYC, Mclean, Maryland, Celtic are all now in Boys ECNL. Loudoun next year, probably more that will be announced this spring. A lot of these clubs are also starting to pull away (more than they have already) from USYS leagues - State Cup, etc. MLS talking about leaving the DA. ECNL requires that your 'best team' be playing in ECNL - just like DA and CCL did before.

[Anonymous]

We've had multiple kids in travel soccer, and I share all the frustrations that others have raised about the fractured league situation we have now. One of our kids has had what I consider to be an excellent overall experience with the leagues he's played iin though. We're in MD, and his pathway was:

OBSL starting in 2d grade--a great, low-key developmental league with little travel

NCSL for u10-U12 (back when it was the primary local travel league before the dark day CCL north started its power grab and propaganda campaign). The pro/rel aspect that started with spring U11 was incredible. The way teams had to scrap to move up a division or get to the top of D1 made for exciting soccer and outstanding rivalries.

U13 pre-academy before the DA had younger age groups--a bit of a drag with all the travel at that age, but a much higher level of competition.

U14-U19 DA--excellent competition, more intense training, pretty reasonable travel schedule with just 2 showcases a year plus playoffs if things went well, all for less $$ than regular travel. Outstanding college recruitment, and national team opportunities for the top kids in each region. A large percentage of his teammates and local DA competitors are the kids who he played with or against during the glory years of NCSL. They've all followed each other around since they were 10.

Next up: playing in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is aging out of youth travel soccer this year, and as I look around, I realize the same game keeps getting played on parents, over and over again. I was making a list the other day with my son on how many different leagues he'd played in, all of which we were told was where the 'best' players and coaches were.

DA
EDP
Super Y
CCL
ERL
National League

and now Boys ECNL.

Every single one of those leagues was sold to us (parents and player) as being the best, the future, the place a club and player needed to be. It's literally close to one new 'have to be in it' league per year over the last 10 years. Each one had clubs clamoring to be a founding club in the DMV, and each one was either abandoned or became a backwater within a couple years of its founding. At every iteration, the costs got a little higher, the travel commitment went up, and the need to be in Disney or Dallas or wherever for a tournament went from yearly to almost quarterly.

Just look at the DA - clubs were killing each other to get the designation, some clubs lost their Academy status locally, then the whole pre-Academy thing for the U12's, and now - poof, everyone over to Boys ECNL. I am so glad to be leaving this chaotic environment. It has become clear to me over time that all of this re-organizing and coming and going of leagues really has nothing to do with developing kids and everything to do with more money and less accountability for coaches and clubs.

The amazing thing to me as I look at my son's schedule for the spring it has the same teams that were in NCSL Division 1 when he was U10!

I thought this was going to be a good post, but you really lost me there.

Everyone over to the boys ECNL? No offense but wtf are you talking about?

He is probably talking about Loudoun boys' program that went from NCSL to CCL to DA to ECNL. McLean had a roughly similar path.

BRYC, Mclean, Maryland, Celtic are all now in Boys ECNL. Loudoun next year, probably more that will be announced this spring. A lot of these clubs are also starting to pull away (more than they have already) from USYS leagues - State Cup, etc. MLS talking about leaving the DA. ECNL requires that your 'best team' be playing in ECNL - just like DA and CCL did before.

I suspect Arlington will move soon too, says a little bird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is aging out of youth travel soccer this year, and as I look around, I realize the same game keeps getting played on parents, over and over again. I was making a list the other day with my son on how many different leagues he'd played in, all of which we were told was where the 'best' players and coaches were.

DA
EDP
Super Y
CCL
ERL
National League

and now Boys ECNL.

Every single one of those leagues was sold to us (parents and player) as being the best, the future, the place a club and player needed to be. It's literally close to one new 'have to be in it' league per year over the last 10 years. Each one had clubs clamoring to be a founding club in the DMV, and each one was either abandoned or became a backwater within a couple years of its founding. At every iteration, the costs got a little higher, the travel commitment went up, and the need to be in Disney or Dallas or wherever for a tournament went from yearly to almost quarterly.

Just look at the DA - clubs were killing each other to get the designation, some clubs lost their Academy status locally, then the whole pre-Academy thing for the U12's, and now - poof, everyone over to Boys ECNL. I am so glad to be leaving this chaotic environment. It has become clear to me over time that all of this re-organizing and coming and going of leagues really has nothing to do with developing kids and everything to do with more money and less accountability for coaches and clubs.

The amazing thing to me as I look at my son's schedule for the spring it has the same teams that were in NCSL Division 1 when he was U10!

Best post ever. My children are incredible soccer players, and to many parents dismay to this day, we left the "elite" teams and this #MONEYGRAB earlier than you and have had more fun with soccer than ever before. Thanks for your post. These Type A parents think it's their child's hook to that special college . . . . . . . . they can't see the forest for the trees. Sad for so many of their children, especially the B players pushed so they can be on the bench of some "elite" A team. That was always the worst part, watching that.

[Anonymous]

Are there any solutions to this? Almost every parent I know hates what has happened to youth sports and all feel powerless to fix it. Is there any way to take back youth sports and make them a beneficial part of growing up instead of a out of control tornado of wasted money and time spent traveling for kid games?

[Anonymous]

meh.. it's hard not to get caught up with the excitement and activity, but we all know that the clubs need revenue and tournaments are popping up and getting bigger to increase revenue.

Such is life, not just soccer. pick your poison.