Disappointed with lack of diversity at a top school

[Anonymous]

She got some constructive feedback on the first page but never returned to respond or to elaborate on the questionable statements in her post. Hardly surprising sympathy hasn't been the dominant thread here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This old money thing is really getting annoying. It's much more who you are as a person than how old your money is.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you 6:29 (I'm not the OP & I'm of a mighty pal ilk). Schools have diversity policies, and often they are well-supported- attitude wise- by teachers. ANd parents. It's still tough to walk into an environment and realize you are very much an outsider, even when you decided to contribute for the overall good of the institution. Considering the number of slams the OP has had for responses, it's pretty clear that for many people, status quo is the only thing that is comfortable & it's easier to accuse the OP of being racist. She wants to embrace the school and the experience for her child. She's looking for some reassurance that this is as possible as she hoped. Maybe all of the people she saw at the early meeting are really more open than it felt to her. She asked for how other people handled this, which makes it clear she still wants to have a positive relationship with people at her child's school. Encouragement here would be nice.

Absolutely. And in my observances it seems that there are sadly a number of parents who choose schools, both private and public (by seeking housing within certain boundaries) due to their lack of diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Surely you must be at Beauvoir. Did you not do the tour? Did you not then see the "vrtually all white students, blonde moms ...."?

All kidding aside, it's a great school and you'll find that you will find plenty of opportunities to meet other families and connect with other parents. Give it some time. The most important thing is that your child is happy and they offer a great global studies program to boot.

Disagree...My child is at Beauvoir and I am pleased to say that he has several children in his class with different ethnicities/religion etc... By the way - I am not blonde and neither are most of the moms in my child's class! Urban legend...

[Anonymous]

I am surprised because in DC it is actually the Big 3 that have a lot of diversity. I found that the second and third tier schools such as St. Pat's, WES, etc... had virtually no diversity when I toured.

[Anonymous]

Here's a Rorschach test -- do you assume OP is white or non-white? I'm white and guessed OP was white because (a) I could imagine having the same reaction (and, in fact, did at other schools I visited) and (b) I thought it more likely that pervasive whiteness might initially be invisible to someone who was white.

[Anonymous]

Would you describe yourself as "so uncomfortable" upon finding yourself in a situation with mostly white people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you describe yourself as "so uncomfortable" upon finding yourself in a situation with mostly white people?

Yes -- especially if I'd put my kid in that environment. I'd worry that I'm opting into/participating in some master-race view of the world and that my kid will see these demographics as natural rather than as artificial and problematic.

[Anonymous]

It's an interesting question, but I don't think it need shape reactions to the post. Regardless of OP's race or ethnicity, I'd say her reaction is ill-considered. She should get to know the parents and the school better before writing them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if they would qualify or not, but I've heard that since TJ doesn't bus its students in, then it keeps lower-income people from attending. Only the richer folk can afford to drive their kids to TJ every day. This might affect the racial composition.

Unless something has changed this school year, TJ does bus kids in. FCPS kids ride the bus to their zoned high school and then catch another bus to TJ.

The bus is available BUT the reality is many drive or are driven in carpools.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear you. My children are at a school that is very well suited to their needs and interests but that is not as diverse (racially and socioeconomically) as we would like. At first glance, all the moms seem to drive Lincoln navigators and wear yoga clothes and not work. And it's true, there's a lot of wealth and privilege there. So I understand that it can be difficult to feel like you "fit in." The first question you should ask is if your child is happy and thriving at the school? Are the teachers and administration welcoming and helpful? If the answer to those questions is "yes" then take some time to get to know parents individually -- go on a few school trips or volunteer at one or two activities. You may be quite surprised to meet some nice people once you get to know them. I know that I don't have a lot in common with many of the parents at my kids' school, but I've met a few nice parents and the teachers are wonderful, and so I make the best of it. My children are older, so I don't really need to spend a lot of time with the parents anyway.

Listen, the reality is that most of the parents at the top private schools are wealthy. That's just a fact of life. And there will be things that happen that will sometimes make you question your choice (I know of many instances of boys being called the "n" word by other boys at these schools). But I urge you to keep your focus on your child. Is he happy? Is he learning? How are his teachers? The parent body issues are less important, especially as the children get older. By the way, I'm not white (although I guess I'm what you call "upper middle class" -- lots of us in private schools, by the way), and I remember feeling the way you do. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Looking for true diversity in DC private schools? You must be kidding. Do you go to McDonald to look for organic, healthy food?

As a PP said, you will find the worst in the second-tier private schools, which shall not be named so I don't offend anyone here. But you know which they are. The Big 3 at least have some symbolic diversity and can afford to do so. The second-tiers are those who have rich, white and mediocre kids.

Real diversity exists only in some public schools, but I am not sure that's really what you want.

[Anonymous]

PP you are off base. Some so-called "second-tier" schools are quite diverse because they make a determined effort (eg., Edmund Burke) or because they are less expensive (eg, St. John's). And compared to many Montgomery County schools, DC privates are more diverse. Many MC and VA privates are not at all diverse, because their public schools are good and so minority parents have more options, and those with money will send their kids to the more diverse privates. There's a big distinction between DC privates and Md and Va privates in that respect.

[Anonymous]

Is NPS one of those "second-tier" schools. We went to a school tour and it's almost all white.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I have three kids at indie schools (good ones) and I can tell you this they are MORE diverse (in terms of numbers) than most of the colleges my oldest is looking at.