Disappointed with lack of diversity at a top school

[Anonymous]

Yes, the oppression of rich arrogant white men, their blonde wives, and their privately-educated children has been one of the tragedies of American history and I'm shocked to see such bias still rearing its ugly head in our more enlightened age.

OP, you need to get over your prejudice. Just relax and enjoy the experience of participating in a racially homogeneous elite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I have been naive. I was so excited when my DC was accepted into the school and planned to volunteer for quite a few committees with the parent association. I thought diversity meant students from various races, ethnicities, etc. Probably, as with most top schools in the area, I see virtually all white students, blonde moms and arrogant dads. I am so disappointed and uncomfortable. Now my interest in spending time at the school and getting to know the parents, have waned. My DC is fine with it all of course, as we do not discuss color or race. Does anyone else feel this way? If so, how did/do you deal with it?

If this was important to you, did you not check out the schools statistics on % minority enrollment? All schools publish this, usually on their websites. Most of the Big 5 schools tend to be around 30% minority. If you did check it out, do you believe this year was an exception?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I hope your original comment about "white kids, blond moms and arrogant dads" was a poorly- and quickly-expressed phrase that was hastily posted. As written, it comes across as racist and sexist. I sincerely hope you are not generalizing based solely upon visual appearance.

I don't know. From my experience of attending events where the "top school" parents congregate, I give OP credit for not bringing the fake t!ts, botox bloated faces and "look at me" cars into the description.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can understand how you feel, but PLEASE give people a chance.

[Anonymous]

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Brilliant! (lol!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I hope your original comment about "white kids, blond moms and arrogant dads" was a poorly- and quickly-expressed phrase that was hastily posted. As written, it comes across as racist and sexist. I sincerely hope you are not generalizing based solely upon visual appearance.

I don't know. From my experience of attending events where the "top school" parents congregate, I give OP credit for not bringing the fake t!ts, botox bloated faces and "look at me" cars into the description.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
IMO, the best schools in this area as among the most diverse -- e.g. TJ, GDS, Sidwell. You don't have to sacrifice racial/religious/ethnic/national diversity to get a great education. Now, economic diversity, that's another story, but in the elementary years, it's not necessarily better in public schools if you live in an affluent neighborhood.

I don't know that this comparison really says much. If you want bona fide diversity in this country (and certainly in this area), you should look for economic diversity.

My spouse teaches at one of the Big Three, and one of the students there once asked why only minority people are poor. What a question! Her thinking was understandable; the scholarship kids are all minorities. You won't find poor white people there because they are not visibly "diverse."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I have been naive. I was so excited when my DC was accepted into the school and planned to volunteer for quite a few committees with the parent association. I thought diversity meant students from various races, ethnicities, etc. Probably, as with most top schools in the area, I see virtually all white students, blonde moms and arrogant dads. I am so disappointed and uncomfortable. Now my interest in spending time at the school and getting to know the parents, have waned. My DC is fine with it all of course, as we do not discuss color or race. Does anyone else feel this way? If so, how did/do you deal with it?

OP, my children's schools lack socioeconomic and lifestyle diversity. I volunteer in areas that are near and dear to my heart, and have found kindred spirits.

Color me naive also, education was my #1 priority in applying. I should have focused more on exploring the culture of their schools.

[Anonymous]

"My spouse teaches at one of the Big Three, and one of the students there once asked why only minority people are poor."

That's horrible. How old was the kid?

[Anonymous]

New poster here. I must be stupid, but I'm not understanding some of the code words on this thread. Maybe someone can help me.

"Socioeconomic" diversity? Do you mean families making less than $100,000/year? Less than $50,000? (Sorry to be so explicit about dollar amounts, but I find that mushy words like "middle class" don't really help clarify anything, since most consider themselves middle-class.) Or are you going the other direction, and saying you want you child exposed to more multi-millionaires? (And does it really matter that much? Don't we all poop sitting down?)

"Lifestyle" diversity? I'm guessing you mean gay and lesbian parents, but I'm not sure. Is that what you mean? Or are you really talking about how different people live their lives, so (for example) someone who grew up on a farm is diverse as compared to kids that grew up in the city?

"Geographic" diversity? Do you mean kids that grew up in Arlington instead of McLean? Bethesda instead of Potomac? Virginia instead of Maryland? Isn't any "geographic" diversity going to be severely hindered by where any school is actually located? I assume no one is suggesting that a school in Virginia lacks diversity because most of the students live in Virginia. Are you?

"Religious" diversity. I think I understand this one. I suspect though that it follows pretty easily if a school achieves diversity from a race/nationality perspective.

I'm not trying to start a fight on any of these topics. I really just wanted to be a little more clear about all the euphemisms being tossed around.

Personally, I believe that as long as schools are offering fair opportunities to all applicants (e.g., outreach to encourage applications from groups not already represented in the student body, and reasonable financial aid for those who cannot otherwise afford to pay), most of the other diversity issues will sort themselves out. I'm not a big fan of schools selecting applicants based on quotas of diversity (no matter how many different types of diversity we list). Perhaps I'm naive though.

Any explanation of these more obscure categories of diversity would be much appreciated. I feel like everyone knows the secret diversity code except me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My spouse teaches at one of the Big Three, and one of the students there once asked why only minority people are poor."
That's horrible. How old was the kid?

I don't necessarily see the question as "horrible." Maybe PP will clarify the context. Couldn't this just be a kid's clumsy way of asking about the fairly complex issue of why different racial groups seem to be stuck in different income brackets in the United States? For example, why does the average AA family make only about half of what the average Asian family makes? If you take the question seriously, answering it could take an entire semester. Seems like in interesting "teaching moment."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My spouse teaches at one of the Big Three, and one of the students there once asked why only minority people are poor."
That's horrible. How old was the kid?

I don't necessarily see the question as "horrible." Maybe PP will clarify the context. Couldn't this just be a kid's clumsy way of asking about the fairly complex issue of why different racial groups seem to be stuck in different income brackets in the United States? For example, why does the average AA family make only about half of what the average Asian family makes? If you take the question seriously, answering it could take an entire semester. Seems like in interesting "teaching moment."

Child was ten, and it was a bona fide question. Child had (accurately) observed that this Big Three's student population was indeed diverse (in its context), but that from what the child could tell, the only kids receiving financial aid were non-white. (I don't know how child would have known this, but the comment was made.)

Spouse observes that there is a lot of talk talk talk about welcoming diversity, but when it comes right down to it, the subject of economic diversity is really not addressed, and in fact, avoided as it seems to make people uncomfortable. Diversity is really a surface issue. The white child from a lower-middle class neighborhood is, therefore, highly unlikely to be admitted and given aid, as such child would not add to the "diversity" (i.e., the kind Big Three is looking for).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My spouse teaches at one of the Big Three, and one of the students there once asked why only minority people are poor."
That's horrible. How old was the kid?

I don't necessarily see the question as "horrible." Maybe PP will clarify the context. Couldn't this just be a kid's clumsy way of asking about the fairly complex issue of why different racial groups seem to be stuck in different income brackets in the United States? For example, why does the average AA family make only about half of what the average Asian family makes? If you take the question seriously, answering it could take an entire semester. Seems like in interesting "teaching moment."

Child was ten, and it was a bona fide question. Child had (accurately) observed that this Big Three's student population was indeed diverse (in its context), but that from what the child could tell, the only kids receiving financial aid were non-white. (I don't know how child would have known this, but the comment was made.)

Spouse observes that there is a lot of talk talk talk about welcoming diversity, but when it comes right down to it, the subject of economic diversity is really not addressed, and in fact, avoided as it seems to make people uncomfortable. Diversity is really a surface issue. The white child from a lower-middle class neighborhood is, therefore, highly unlikely to be admitted and given aid, as such child would not add to the "diversity" (i.e., the kind Big Three is looking for).

I find this really interesting. It seems as though the school is doing a disservice if it on one hand increases diversity, but in the same action it segragates or emphasizes a distinction.

I grew up in this area and attended public elementary in a very affluent area here. Yes, we had very few AAs, but the ones that did attend came from very affluent families. We had very few lower income students, but the ones that were, were white. Even though my elementary lacked a lot of diversity, at least it didn't divide students.

[Anonymous]

Well I doubt the Obamas are getting financial aid at Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My spouse teaches at one of the Big Three, and one of the students there once asked why only minority people are poor."
That's horrible. How old was the kid?

I don't necessarily see the question as "horrible." Maybe PP will clarify the context. Couldn't this just be a kid's clumsy way of asking about the fairly complex issue of why different racial groups seem to be stuck in different income brackets in the United States? For example, why does the average AA family make only about half of what the average Asian family makes? If you take the question seriously, answering it could take an entire semester. Seems like in interesting "teaching moment."

Sorry I shouldn't have been so short winded with the comment. When I said it was horrible I wasn't saying it was horrible he asked that question. I meant it was horrible a child had even come to that conclusion himself at that age. As you noted I would've been glad if a kid asked me that so I could get the chance to explain what things are actually like as opposed to what they thought it was. Or at least have a discussion.
Then again, I'm probably naive in my thinking that elementary school aged kids are oblivious to who's poor and who's not. I don't ever remember thinking or knowing this at that age.